


Girl in the Unicorn Pajamas

by MightyWaddles



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Deviates From Canon, Dissociation, Explicit Language, Female Protagonist, Found Family, Gen, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, No Smut, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season 1
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2018-10-06 17:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 80,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10340985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MightyWaddles/pseuds/MightyWaddles
Summary: A young woman is found wandering the streets by the Motor Inn group, she has gone days without food or water and cannot survive alone. The group takes her in, and she can't find the courage to leave.(Re-written from my old fic on FF.net)Now starting S1: Ep4





	1. Prologue

# Prologue

I am tired.

I am. . . so. . . tired. . .

I haven't stopped walking in. . . how long? Who knows, time is lost on me. How long has it been since I ate? Drank? Slept? Am I sleeping right now? I don't know. I do know one thing.

I HAVE to get to Savannah.

Lisa is waiting for me there, she promised she would wait for me there.

I have to keep going.

My legs are so tired. My feet stung and ached. My joins felt weak.

I could only saunter around, I may as well be one of _them_. I've walked around them, they didn't notice me, didn't notice I am alive. Maybe I'm not? Maybe I'm dead and this is the afterlife. Maybe I turned and this is what it truly feels like. I don't remember getting bitten.

Each step I took I had to stop and wobble, pausing for only a moment to take regain my balance, trying my hardest to stop myself from collapsing. I can't stop, not now, I'm so close. Am I?

I groaned, feeling the migraine take over my vision, static being the only thing I can feel.

I can't stop now.

It took me a moment to realize I had stopped walking, aimlessly pushing myself in to a wall.

Is this Savannah?

Savannah isn't a wall, it's a city by the water.

"Lisa. . ." I mumbled, my voice coming out as a wheeze. "I didn't mean to... I swear."

Looking to my left, I see more in to where I'm at, a motel? It's boarded up, maybe there are survivors?

I can't get distracted, I have to find Lisa. . . but. . . maybe they could help me? Maybe I could. . .

"I can't." I looked back to the road, nothing down the road but trees and pavement that never seemed to end. "I need to. . . but. . ."

I found a way past the wooden defenses and got myself alone in the center of the parking lot. Maybe there is no one here?

I should go.

I turned around, trying to find out how I got in here. Everything around me spun, my world getting flipped around as I found myself on my hands and knees, nearly kissing the hot ground as my face mushed in to it.

Everything shook horribly as I got back on two feet, was the ground always this shaky? Is this an earthquake?

My hand found its way to my forehead, wiping away the dirt, blood, and sweat then wiping that off on my faded blue unicorn pajamas. 

I have to leave.

I found the wall again, but where did I squeeze through?

Then I caught the eyes, she's there, looking straight at me with fear in her piercing brown, her dark skin, her beard. . . am I sure that's Lisa? She didn't speak to me, only holding a gun up to my face.

"Lisa. . ?"

The gun dropped only slightly.

I tried to take another step to her but instead I fell back, my world yet again flipping as my knees gave way.

I closed my eyes and accepted my fate, not knowing if I hit the ground.

"Lisa, I'm. . ."

I'm going to die.

"Sorry."

Then everything went black.

 

 

 

 

 

I thought back to Lisa, the light of my life, the woman in my life I would do anything for. I would walk until my feet go raw, technically I did. She is the only person I have left.

This is why I can't give up.

I have to go.

Slowly, I felt myself gain consciousness, suddenly aware of the soft cushions below me, the pressure of someone's hand resting on my throat, the heat of the sun on my face, the refreshing water that flowed through my mouth, the wounds covering my body that felt less painful yet more intense now that I'm conscious.

Wait. . .

Water is being poured down my throat.

 

I spasmed, suddenly unable to properly drink the fluids and spitting it up as I struggled to breath.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes is the gun.

"Is she. . ?" Someone started, a woman talking to who?

I wiped away the water on my chin, looking up to see people surrounding me, a majority of them with a gun, one of them with a water bottle.

We sat in silence for a moment, awkwardly staring as we all didn't know what to do or even what to say. Are they going to shoot me?

I looked around to survey the area, noticing that I'm sitting on a couch outside, still at the motel from before. Then I thought about what I must look like to these people. A young adult wearing unicorn pajamas, my whole body covered in blood and sweat, with burnt un-even hair, wearing no shoes...

It was then that I noticed the woman who was closest to me, the one with a gun to my face, had said something.

"What?" I squinted at her, _did_ she say something? "Can- can you put the gun down, please?"

"How do we know you wont attack us?" She growled back, not wavering or lowering the gun.

"Well. . ." My voice cracked, "I don't have any weapons on me. . . and. . ." I looked the the man with the bottle who now protectively stood by a young girl. "I don't know, I think. . . you guys saved me?"

The woman hesitantly lowered the gun, taking a slight step back, glaring at the man who had the bottle. "We can't just take people in like this, Lee. We will run out of supplies soon, what good will another mouth be to the group?"

I looked around again. I spotted three women, four men, two children. I can understand, I couldn't even keep two people alive.

"My name is Sharon." I stated, having to clear my throat to talk a little louder. "I-I just need to get to Savannah."

"What's in Savannah?" One of the men asked.

"A friend, I-I-" I stood up, feeling everything around me swirl. "I have to get to her- I have to-"

"You're not going anywhere." The woman who- despite me asking- still had the gun pointed at me stepped closer, making me sit back down. "We've had you here for a day and we kept you hydrated. You owe us."

I gasped. "A day? Jesus. . ." Lisa has to be waiting for me still, right? How far am I? Will I make it? What if she gets in her boat and leaves without me? "Fine, I'll help you with whatever you need." Let's just get this over with.

"Uh. . ." The man who gave me the water, the woman called him Lee, took a step closer. "You don't look like you could help us, you can barely stand."

I felt slightly hurt that he thinks I'm really that weak, until I remembered how awful I look. A few people walked away, I guess I'm not that interesting.

"I can deal with it. Tell me what you need, I'll do it. I know my way around this city and determined to pay my debt."

The man whispered something to the child and stepped up to the couch, slowly lowering the woman's gun so she wasn't pointing it at me.

"Kenny and I were about to go on a run through the city to look for some supplies." Lee spoke, mostly to the woman than to me. "Maybe we can take her with us?"

"Wait a sec." One of the men with a rifle, I'm guessing Kenny, walked up to Lee with a unhappy look. "How can we trust some kid? We don't know her."

"Because." I said, tired of hearing them speak about me. "I don't think I would be able to leave knowing a kid is going to need something that I took." I smiled at the young girl who was listening to our conversation, slowly inching her way closer every so often. 

"Shouldn't you get some shoes first?" Kenny asked.

I looked down, surprised to see my feet wrapped in bandages. My feet felt sore and are still dirty, the clean white bandages contrasted against my dirty skin.

"Do you have any I can have?"

"And you'll need a weapon." Lee said, looking at his pistol

I raised up my hands, backing myself in to the cushions of the couch. "No, I-I don't need a gun."

The two men exchanged a look, Kenny crossed his arms. "I wasn't going to give you one." Lee smirked. "I was thinking a crowbar or something."

At this point the gun lady and everyone else walked away, aside from Kenny and Lee. The little girl however stayed close but changed where she stood.

The men conversed about themselves, I scooted to the far end of the couch closest to the little girl. She seemed curious and trusting. . . too trusting.

"Hey there," I kneeled on the ground a few feet away from her. "I'm Sharon."

I offered my filthy hand, she reluctantly took it, shaking my hand with a weak grip. She smiled after.

"I'm Clementine." She smiled. "Where's your family?"

What a question. "We. . . we got separated awhile back, I'm sure they are alive and doing well. What about you? Where's yours?" I almost didn't want to ask, hoping that Lee is her father.

She shrugged, looking up as Lee neared us. I stood and dusted my pants like it mattered. "I'm watching after her until we find her parents." He said. "Are you sure you are alright? You didn't look too good yesterday."

"I'm positive. But first, do you have any clothes I can change in to?" I looked to my tattered shirt and my bare feet. "Or at least some shoes?"

"Of course." Lee pointed, I followed his stare to see the woman who pointed the gun at me, Lilly.

I walked in and watched as she pulled out a suitcase from under her bed. 

I didn't waste time dressing, keeping my pajamas on but putting something under them to keep me warm. As much as I hated wearing jeans I wore the pair she gave me, tight on my legs and constricting, I hate it. Since the jeans are form fitting I was able to put the pajama pants back on.

I put a tank top under my pajama top and a jacket over it, successfully keeping my pajamas. Lilly asked but I could only say that it's sentimental.

When I put the shoes and socks on Lilly sighed, grabbing something from her dresser and turning around.

She held a gun.

"Lilly-"

"Don't!" She gritted her teeth.

This is different. Before her aim was true, she had no doubt in her mind that she would shoot me, I could tell by the look in her eyes and her unwavering stance. That Lilly was able to shoot me and not think about it, or maybe she would later but at that moment? No.

This Lilly shook. Her eyes looked through me, not looking directly at me. Her hands shook, holding the gun with both hands instead of one.

She could kill me.

"No one would know, I could say you grabbed my gun, say there was a struggle."

Her tone this time isn't demanding and angry like she was with Lee, her voice now is monotonous and low.

This is it. I could have died at any point while walking to Savannah, I could have died from when they found me. I'm going to die now.

Both of us visibly flinched at the sound of a hard knock on the door.

"If you ain't done in twenty seconds we're leavin' you behind." Kenny spoke from the other side.

"Lilly." I hadn't taken my gaze away from her, standing up to get eye level with her, or as close as seeing I'm a few inches shorter.

"Just go." She lowered her gun and reached behind her, handing me a screwdriver.

"Thank you."

I tugged on the weapon, looking to her confused as she held her grip on it. She glared at me. "If I even suspect you are stealing from us, I won't hesitate."

I didn't stick around to hear more threats, bolting out the door to meet Lee and Kenny, arguing under their breath as I walked up.

"Well, no, but do you really think-" He sighed when he saw me walk up. "Are you ready to head out?"

I nodded, lightly waving goodbye to Clementine as Kenny and Lee said goodbye to their family, even if Lee isn't related by blood I can tell they are close. 

As we walked down the road, opposite of where I was originally heading, Kenny and Lee had me walk in between them, possibly because I was at risk of running away.

Where could I go if I ran? I don't think I can actually run if I tried. My legs ached and felt as if my knees would cave and stop supporting my weight at any second, if I have a good enough distraction I can ignore the pain, a trait that I've had a lot of practice with.

I know how to get to Savannah, I haven't gotten far seeing as I'm in Macon. Maybe I can find a car? I would settle for a bike if it meant I'd get a rest from walking.

My thoughts were interrupted by Kenny's quiet chuckling, he is looking at me.

"You look like shit, girl." Wow, thanks for the compliment. "What happened to ya?"

"A lot." I shrugged. "My friend and I got separated in a house fire, we were surrounded."

"Is that why you're trying to get to Savannah?"

I nodded, looking to the buildings ahead of us, then to the tiny scratch marks that were left on my arms, the crusted blood that flaked off only slightly. "What's your boys name?" I asked, hoping to change the subject quickly.

Kenny smiled. "Ken Jr. We all call him Duck."

I shook my head, smirking at the name. "Why Duck?"

"Water off a ducks back y'know?" He chuckled. "Dumb as a bag of hammers. . ."

I smiled, noticing that he's world trailed off and went silent. I looked up from my arms, freezing when I saw someone in front of me, it's not Kenny or Lee.

It's a man, infected, and staring at me. I didn't move, he didn't move. He's at arms reach, he could bite me if he wanted to. Lisa would be alone.

He didn't reach for me, he just stared at me with blank eyes.

"Duck!"

My arms flung to the back of my head as I crouched down, flinching at the sound of a gunshot and the feeling of the infected man's blood on my arms. I backed away as the body fell limp beside me.

"Why the hell didn't that walker attack you?" Kenny asked, grabbing my arm to help me up.

As I stood I got a smell of my body, a mix of body odor and... blood, infected blood.

"She kinda looks like one." Lee spoke, a mixed feeling smile as he ushered us to an ally, away from the scene.

"Smells like one too." Kenny muttered.

"We could test that." The men stopped smiling and looked to me, a look of disbelief in their eyes as I pointed at a walker at the end of the alley, still and confused. "Hide."

The two hid behind a dumpster, the scuffing of their feet causing the walker to look our way and walk towards us.

The thing looked to me as it passed, not caring that I took a step away from it. It took another step away, turning its body and then another, fully passing by me.

It didn't notice me.

What truly was it? My scent? Or, was it my look? I have new clothes, but my pajamas under this still smell. Did they have the thinking capacity to distinguish a dirty person to a clean person? They obviously can't tell I'm not one of them, seeing as I vaguely remember walking among them. Come to think of it I don't remember a lot. . .

I tried not to think about it.

It didn't take much strength for me to kill it, the sharp screwdriver slid through his head easily. The walker slipped and fell to the group, a hard thud as it hit the cement.

"Let's go." I spoke, rushing the two shocked men in to the nearest building as walkers started to block our exits.

Lee and I quickly scanned the room, a storage room with boxes all around. No walkers strayed between the racks so I peered in to the next room, a few more walkers roamed inside on the far side of the store. We're safe for now.

"I can't. . ." Kenny started, hushed voice too loud for comfort so I closed the door. "She just. . ."

"I don't know." I shook my head. "I don't- I don't remember a lot before you guys found me, but I remember walking among them, they didn't know I wasn't. . ."

Lee, Kenny, and I stood in the corner of the room in silence. Lee seemed to be a very clear headed guy, his arms crossed as he thought about earlier. Kenny looked the most shock out of all of us, his eyes on me. When I gave him a look for staring he snapped out of it.

"Sorry, I just- you don't act like some kid." Lee and I gave him a confused look. "I mean, after we found you like that and you look so young, I just kinda expected you'd be more... fuck I dunno, freaked out?"

"No sense on being freaked out about it, y'know?" I looked to the boxes the surrounded us. "We should probably get out of here, we're in an electronics store so I don't know if we'll find a lot of useful things here."

In closer inspection I noted the boxes are mainly empty. If I think about it I remember this store going out of business shortly before this all started. Lee opened the door and looked around, leading us quietly out of the store and deeper in to the city.

How much will I need to find to repay my debt to them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic on AO3 so sorry if I messed up on the formatting, didn't realize I needed to know HTML for this.
> 
> Anyways, I wrote this late 2013-early 2014 so I decided to just go through and re-write it. I loved the character Sharon and hated how she started out and overly bad-ass I made her with little faults so I decided to go back and do it all again!
> 
> Let me know of any mistakes and I'll go back and fix it!


	2. Everything's Going To Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She walks among them.

I tested my luck by walking among them again. 

The gunshot from earlier made the majority of the walkers migrate but a few still lingered in the store that Lee and Kenny wanted to do a supply run through, the amount of walkers inside meant they would have had to go somewhere else. 

Now that they have a dirty smelly young woman to blend in: they don't have to go somewhere else.

This is some kind of camping store. It was locally owned so it wasn't stocked to the brim to begin with, the looting lowered the amount of supplies we could gather but there is still enough for us to gain from.

First I took a backpack from the shelves to gather the supplies in. The main pocket zipper echoed as I opened it, momentarily forgetting that zippers make noise. 

Idiot.

I turned around, face to face with a decaying woman. Her decaying gums and low gurgles almost caused me to gag. She looked around for a moment then brushed past me.

I could see Lee poking out of the back room, his gun raised and aiming at the walker. I held my hand up to him. Everything is okay.

He understood the signal and relaxed, easing inside the door slowly.

I began my task of walking through the aisles, grabbing anything that looked useful- so pretty much everything- while trying my best to keep quiet.

A mallet, tins of grease, fishing wire, nails, and BB pellets were the kinds of supplies that I found. The store didn't have a lot of good tools, the tools that are left are made of hard plastic and painted a bright color, I was lucky if I came across anything made of metal.

I hesitated going down the children's aisle, I don't think I'll find anything useful here. I turned to leave but a walker blocked my path, staring at me carefully as I swung around.

I continued, stopping at the baby food and noticing a certain brand in a little glass container, Brandon's favorite. It was even his favorite flavor, carrots and peas, Lisa and I never knew why he liked it, tasted awful. 

Maybe his mother gave it to him? Would he even know enough about the world to like something out of nostalgia? We never even knew how old he was in the first place, so perhaps not. We know he wasn't new born, he could lift his head and he started to walk after awhile. 

We considered going back to the car we found him in and looking around for any information, maybe his mom carried something in her purse or had some pictures we could give him when he got older. I almost wish we had only so I had something to remember him by.

 

I took the baby food, tucking the small jar inside of my jacket, a hidden pocket just big enough for this.

 

I walked back to the door, stuffing a few supplies in the bag on my way, waiting for Lee to open the door for me so I can walk in quietly.

Kenny waited in the alley keeping an eye out for roamers, he took the backpack from me and looked taken aback from the weight of it. "How much did ya' get?"

"A lot." I smiled. "Are we going to look for food now?"

He smiled this time. "We usually stop after one store, but you seem to be our little good luck charm."

I ignored the 'little' comment and followed them to a different store, not locally owned so it's larger, full of more walkers than before.

Kenny handed me the bag and wished me luck.

I felt my heart pounding, wringing my hands on the straps of the bag as I sauntered through, stuffing the food in the bag and attempting to cover it up with cloth to stop the crinkling packaging.

I don't know what's different about this place but I can't focus. I held my breath and becoming hyper aware of the noises I made. Can they hear me breath? Can they hear the zipper lightly tapping against the backpack? Can they hear the saliva moving in my mouth? Can they hear the blood rushing through my ears?

The rotting food attracted a swarm of flies, buzzing loudly and flying around directionless.

I could see the maggots writhing in a nearby corpse.

I have to get out of here.

I can't do this anymore, I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

I could feel soulless eyes on me, every walking body turning their heads and facing me, I'm surrounded. They know.

I turned around and weaved around the walkers as they walked to me, no longer believing that I am one of them, I'm just something for them to catch, something for them to turn.

Lee must have heard whatever noise I made to gain the attention of the walkers, he peaked out and locked eyes with me.

I didn't have to say anything because he saw it, the walkers reaching out to me as I limped away, I feared that my legs could give out at any moment. It would be that easy.

Kenny looked surprised as Lee and I both quickly shut the door behind us. "What happened in there, kid?"

Lee hushed Kenny and looked to the walkers that meandered near by the alley. He took a rock from the ground, throwing it the opposite from us to gather the attention of the walkers.

We got back on the road to the inn and felt safe enough to talk out loud. We didn't talk too much, mostly about the supplies I had gotten and how they usually aren't able to grab this much.

They didn't ask me about what happened in the store.

When we made it to the inn Lilly greeted us with a relieved look, bringing us in to her room to sort the backpack through.

"Is that enough?" I asked, watching as she pulled everything out and sort it on the bed.

"Well..."

I laced my fingers together.

"You took clothes, water, shoes, bandages..." She looked up to me. "A shower, if you're staying that long."

"Savannah is a long way, Sharon." Lee stated. "You've been walking awhile, you should take a day to rest."

"I didn't want to take you with us just for that reason." Kenny crossed his arms.

Lee gave him a look. "Just?"

Kenny muttered something under his breath. I don't get it.

Lilly gestured to all the supplies I gathered. "You've paid us back, by a lot. Really, you have. Stay for the night, you won't make that walk without rest- and food."

"Or I can leave now." I crossed my arms, unintentionally copying Kenny's stance. I can't postpone my meeting with Lisa any longer than I have.

Lee lightly chuckled. "You need to rest, I can't let you walk out of here after seeing you like that."

I gave in to their hospitality, mostly because this is the most calm I've seen Lilly act around me. Both time's I've been around her she pointed a gun at me so this is a nice change, a change I _really_ don't want to get used to.

"Thanks."

Lilly lead me to an unused room, placing a new set of clothes on the bed. She told me they already took everything of use from this room and were about to take the bed and couch until I arrived.

I thanked her again for everything and waved goodnight.

Once the door clicked shut I broke in to tears, the weight of everything finally weighing me down. I could still feel the stare of those walkers, the presence as I walked among them, how alone I felt without Lisa by my side.

To top it all off: they are being so nice. I can't say no to them but I can't stay here, but what if this is the last group of people I meet? What if I run into groups that aren't so nice? Should I really just abandon Lisa and stay here, solely because it's comfortable comparable to being alone?

Before I washed myself I washed my pajama pants in the sink, scrubbing away as much dirt as I could and hanging it up to dry, as much as I loved it I threw away the top, it's tattered and useless now.

Stumbling in to the bathroom I turned the water on in the tub, no hot water. I had to ease in to the cold, feeling my muscles clench and shake from the cold.

I shivered, roughly scrubbing the burnt hair clumps from my scalp, tugging on the matted hair and soaking the soap into it. It took me too long to realize that my bandages are still on, soaking wet and ruined. The bandages slid off and revealed dirty wounds stitched together and burns that had ointment on it.

I caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror before I could grab my towel, shocked thinking that there was someone else in the bathroom with me. That can't be me. I broke down in to sobs again.

I'm so skinny. I could count every rib, I could see my bones through my skin, my hips never looked so small, my waist never curved inward so sharply, my cheeks caved in.

How long has it been since I've eaten, since I've had a proper meal? How long was I walking for? Did I loose my mind? Am I going mad?

I felt my new body, squishing my thighs that no longer touched, stomach that didn't bulge, breasts that no longer fit my bra, chin that doesn't double when I look down, arms that don't jiggle when I move.

I felt a wave of exhaustion flow over me after I put on my clothes, crawling under the blankets to my bed. I didn't bother clipping my nails or cleaning my ears, I didn't even put new bandages on. 

I'm too tired. Everything felt heavy.

This bed is so comfy.

So warm.

 

 

 

 

 

Warm.

Cozy.

Safe.

"Hey Lizzy?" I mumbled, having to clear my throat. My stomach rumbled and ached. "Liz?"

I tried to open my eyes but everything felt swollen, even my tongue felt big and hard to move. What time is it?

"Elizabeth?"

I opened my eyes only slightly, not recognizing the bland sheets I'm in. All my limbs felt too sore to move, but I did it anyways. 

Everything spun as I sat up, my vision blurred when I put my feet on the ground. Quickly I lost which way was up and felt everything move, my head suddenly becoming heavy as I put pressure on my feet, my feet! Why do they hurt so bad?

The migraine I had could kill an army. I almost couldn't see when I opened my eyes again, only seeing the floor.

I curled in a ball and felt my feet, not recognizing the callouses and various cuts that littered my legs. I crawled to where I think the bathroom is and found the toilet, painfully throwing up. Everything felt bad.

"Sharon? Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall. "I'm fine mom." I muttered, hearing footsteps near me. "I just don't feel too well."

"Do you need help back to your bed?" She asked, her accent strange and unfamiliar.

I nodded, soon feeling dad pick me up and lay me down on the bed, feeling sleep wash over me when the blankets were back.

 

 

 

 

 

Katjaa closed the door to Sharon's room quietly, joining Kenny and Lee on the balcony in worry.

"Was she alright?" Lee asked, admiring the motel in the moonlight. "I heard her talking, when I knocked she didn't answer so I feared the worst."

"She looked exhausted, must've fallen outta bed." Kenny said.

Katjaa looked away. "I don't think she knew where she was." Kenny and Lee furrowed their brows. "Poor thing, she called me mom."

"She thought you..." Lee muttered. "Jesus..."

"You don't think she-"

"I'm sure she's fine." Kat interrupted. "She's tired. Who knows how long she's been walking, how much blood she's lost, the pain from those burns."

Kat thought back to when she first treated Sharon, she had to pull so much glass from her feet. It was a wonder how Sharon could still stand.

"I don't think she should leave." Kenny stated. "Her Lisa friend may not be alive, and I don't think she'd make that walk by herself."

"We can't keep her locked up, Ken." Kat objected. "How can we stop her from leaving?"

"We'll have to convince her." Lee said. "Lilly said she looked deathly skinny, I don't think she should go until she has something to eat."

"Can't say no to that." Kenny sighed.

Kat didn't want Sharon to leave, not caring about the supplies she brought for the group, caring about Sharon herself. This young girl shouldn't have to face the world out there, she should be safe and taken care of like she can be here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so before anyone says anything about the "Bechdel Test," this story is about Sharon and her effect on the group/her journey with the group. This story is going to start off with a lot of "Sharon this" and "Sharon that," until she is able to actually impact the group enough to change things from the original plot.


	3. Going Hungry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a loud day today.

I can't move, though not in a bad way. My body felt as if it melted in the soft sheets, it smelled slightly musty but compared to how I smelled before? This may as well be a field of flowers.

I sat up this time without headrush. My limbs still felt sore but not as excruciating this time. I struggled to get dressed, taking this moment to bandage my wounds.

I stood outside and stared at the night sky for the first time since... well, since a long time. I haven't seen this many stars this close to the city before. It's beautiful until I think about the fact that I can see more stars is because no one's alive to turn on the lights.

Staring at the road I wondered if I should leave now and forget about everyone here I met. These people seem to have everything set for them, they don't need me to sit around and drain their supplies. I'll have to leave someday if I don't tonight, so I may as well try.

I took a few more breaths of fresh cold air before going back inside, trading my jeans for my now clean pajama pants. I looked around outside one more time, scanning the moonlit area for any signs of life. Confident that no one's out I walked down from the balcony, taking it step by step as my feet still hurt.

Their gate consisted of a dumpster, I've used it before so it was easy to find in the dark. I was only able to put my hand on their gate before I heard a scuff behind me.

"Going somewhere?"

I whipped around and backed into the dumpster. Lee stood in front of me with his arms crossed.

"I'm leaving." I looked away from him. "No hard feelings but I have to go, to get out of your way."

"I think you should stay." Don't say that... "We want you to stay." Please... "You've helped us out yesterday, when you could have just ran. Here."

I looked back to him, seeing half an apple shining in the moonlight.

"We owe you some hospitality."

I sighed, taking the apple from him and not hesitating to take a bite, my shaking joints told me that I needed this sugar. "Fine." I said with a mouthful. "Could you introduce me to everyone? I mean- when they're awake."

Lee smiled. "Of course, I'll fill you in on how things work around here." 

He led me to the RV in the center of the lot, climbing up the ladder and offering the chair for me to sit, I politely declined despite my aching feet.

Lee told me about how Lilly assumes command most of the time much to Kenny's dismay, Lee feels indifferent about it and trusts Lilly's judgement. She also keeps nearly everything the group finds at the city to make sure the supplies are distributed evenly.

Someone is always on watch in case of walkers, that also tells me that it will be harder for me to sneak out. 

Lee and I chatted for awhile, aware that the sky lightened from the impending sunrise. I got to know Lee slightly, he used to be a history teacher at the college nearby

Then we were quiet for a moment, watching the horizon change colors in silence. Few birds chirped, the silence caused ringing in my ears. When did everything get so quiet? I guess in the city it's louder from the echoing and travelling survivors. Here in the woods it's nothing but the wind blowing the trees and the occasional bird.

"Do you... remember anything from last night?" 

Last night? I paused and thought about it. I recall waking up, or was that a dream? "Did I sleep walk?"

"No, just some talking and crawling. You told Katjaa that you weren't feeling good."

I tried to think back to it but I can't remember, I don't think I know who Katjaa is. Lee said she's the one who's taken role as a doctor, I don't think I've actually seen her, or maybe I have?

"Speaking of, there she is."

I turned my head and saw a heavy set woman walking out of a room behind us, waving as she saw us. We returned the greeting.

She walked over and stood below, looking up at us and smiling. "Good morning, Lee." She greeted, then to me. "It's good to see you out of bed, how are you feeling?"

I sat down with my legs over the edge so I wouldn't have to talk too loud. "Better, are you the one who patched me up?"

"Yes. I don't know if you'll remember last night, it was Kenny and I who helped you back to bed. You were so tired. Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

I've been trying my best to ignore the residing pain but on the subject I could help but think about it, the aches of my feet, the stinging of every wound, the burning.

"Thank you for helping me, Katjaa..." I smiled, taking this moment to excuse myself from Lee's post to climb down from the RV.

Katjaa met me at the ladder, extending out her hand when my foot touched the ground. "I don't think we've properly met before, I'm Katjaa. Kenny's wife and Ducks mother."

I don't know what came over me.

I reached to shake her hand but found my arms around her, at first Katjaa didn't react. When I was starting to worry that I was being weird she hugged me back. 

"Thank you- um..." I pulled away, trying to ignore the heat on my cheeks. "Sorry- uh, thank you for doing that for me."

"I am happy to help, Sharon." She smiled, warm and inviting. "I was coming to check on you, so I'm going to go back inside." Then her face turned to worry. "Are you sure you're okay? Your feet don't hurt too much?"

I waved the questions away. "I'm fine, promise."

I joined Lee back on top of the RV and waited until Katjaa walked back inside to talk to him.

"How long was I asleep for?"

Lee checked his watch, counting in his head for a second. "We came back later than usual, I think you went to bed around five. So, that would be..." He looked up to me. "Twenty two hours, about." 

I leaned my head back. Almost a whole day.

"We would come in to wake you up and feed you, you would always go back to sleep right after."

When Lilly came out of her room to take over watch for Lee, he led me around to introduce me.

Lee stayed awake despite me telling him he should go rest, he assured me that he can handle being awake for a little while longer. 

Larry seemed very skeptical of me, he thanked me for the supplies but made some comment on how 'we don't need another mouth to feed.' Carley welcomed me, she's easy to get along with so I didn't need Lee to help me talk with her. Then, I met Duck who seemed very excited that I was around, telling me that hardly anyone around wants to play with him.

I explained myself the best I could without getting too friendly with them. They may have saved my life but I still have to find Lisa before it's too late, I can't get too attatched to them.

 

 

 

 

 

Every day I thought about Lisa and how she's waiting for me. Every day for two months I thought about what I'd say to her once I found her, I thought about how I'd explain myself, about how she'd look after all this time. Every day I would stare at the gates and wonder when I can leave.

Two long months repaying my debt and staying because they owed me, or I owed them. Every day I told myself that I'm going to do it, I'm going to leave. But something always pulls me back; I promised Duck that last game of go fish, Kenny said he needs help with the RV, Lilly wants me to build some of the fence, Larry needs help moving furniture, the new guy Mark lost his glasses...

Even then, it took far too long for me to convince everyone that I was _ready_ to leave, Katjaa would check my wounds for infections and Lee would try to poke holes in my plans to make me change my mind, occasionally Kenny and Mark would aswell. Lilly and Larry had no comment on the matter.

To stop me from going stir crazy I decided to go hunting, I've only went once but because I don't like the guns I'm not alot of help. Since Kenny is hunting alone I decided to keep him company. I wanted to stay back and learn more about being a vet from Katjaa but figured this would be the best. 

This time I will pay my debt and accept their constant hospitality as payment, then I will leave. I've told myself that so many times, but this time I mean it, I _really_ mean it.

Lee and Mark went one direction while Kenny and I went the other to cover more area. Usually we only send out two people to hunt, but the sudden drop in supplies from the town has nearly bled us dry, and it raised the tension between everyone.

At first it was silence between Kenny and I, a whisper to get down or take out a walker was the most that was said. I tried to strike up a conversation but couldn't get a lot of words out. Kenny is still pissed from Larry yelling at him last night, who the hell knows what for. Larry yells at everyone aside from Lilly and the kids.

Kenny glared ahead of us mouth shut, not caring for a conversation right now.

It took him awhile to get over it, sighing and looking away from me. "Sorry, I just- fuckin' Larry has been up my ass about the RV makin' too much noise when I try to get it running. If shit goes down it's the only thing that will save our asses! And! He has the gull after sitting on his ass all day to yell at me for tryin' to get shit done!"

His voice carried louder, I didn't mind that he may be attracting walkers or scaring away potential food. If he doesn't get this out now he'll start yelling _at_ someone. A walker would have to be very sneaky for it to surprise us and we have already run out of luck for anything to hunt.

He sighed, looking to me. "Hey, do you think you could-"

" _AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!_ "

"Was that Mark?" I asked, tightening my grip on my screwdriver.

"Hell if I know!"

We ran towards the scream, slowing as we had no idea where we are going, they could be anywhere, we're in a freaking forest! At the sound of more screaming we pinpointed the direction it came from, seeing Lee and Mark standing terrified in a clearing.

"Lee!" Kenny called out as we ran through the bushes. "Are you guys okay?"

I put my free hand to my mouth, seeing the source of the screaming. A man in a bear trap clutching his leg, on the ground in pain.

_"Travis, maybe they can help!"_

I ignored the two weaponless boys that stood next to the man and examined the trap, looking for anything that can get it open, a latch or some kind of mechanism. I frantically followed the chain to the tree, searching around it for anything.

"Sharon, what's wrong?" Mark asked, examining the trap aswell.

I pulled on the chain, searching for anything. There's no lock, what the hell? Someone's messed with this trap, this isn't normal.

"How the hell-" I stopped myself, taking a breath. "There's no way to get it off, there's no latch!"

Mark saw for himself and cursed, Lee kneeled by the trap with me as I tried everything to get it open.

"This isn't right, Lee." I whispered, hoping the man couldn't hear me. "The chain is way too thick, the tree is too thick, this trap is-"

"Oh no..."

I stood up, watching as the walkers arrived, the screaming lured them. The man pleaded with us again.

"Sharon, keep the boys back." Lee ordered me, taking his axe and wedging it in the trap.

I am NOT going to sit around and babysit while this man is in pain.

"Mark, you keep the boys back." I looked to him, pulling out my screwdriver and walking up to the nearest walker. "Conserve your ammo."

I could only take out two before the arguing got too loud, I was force to take a step back to avoid being swarmed, eventually bumping into the shorter boy who snapped at me as I did.

"Lee, just cut off his fucking leg!" Mark shouted.

I turned away from the walkers for a moment to look at him. He's serious. We can't take away this man's leg! We can't! That will kill him!

Lee held his axe in his hands, debating on what to do, a mental battle as he gripped it.

"You can't!" The taller boy cried out. "There has to be another way- or- try- try the trap again!" I quickly reached my arm out and held him back, stopping him from interfering. "Stop! Please!"

The shorter helped me, allowing me to let go and kill the walker that crept too close for comfort.

The man stopped screaming only for a moment. "No.. NO NO PLEASE! TRY THE TRAP AGAIN!"

I pushed the dead walker from me and tried to block out the screams, the pleading, the crying. Maybe I did because I didn't hear any more.

Kenny grabbed the axe and stopped Lee from bringing it down, demanding for us to leave him.

"NO!" The shorter boy shouted, letting go of the taller. "We can't just leave Mr. Parker like that!"

The man begged and begged for us not to leave, to try cutting the chain again. I can't stand it, I brushed past Mark and walked to the edge of the clearing, turning to wait for everyone else. The shorter boy lunged for Mark.

"Give me the gun!"

I quickly rushed up to the scene when I saw shorter boy with the barrel of the gun at his gut, trying to tug Marks rifle from him, both desperately trying to keep the gun. 

This can't happen, we need to leave. NOW.

"Give it to me!"

"Travis!"

I reached out.

"LET GO!"

_**BAM!**_

"NO!!"

 

Did...

Did I just get shot?

I felt my stomach and felt my fingers warm up, everything felt numb.

My legs no longer supported my weight, I fell back into the short boy's arms and could hardly stay standing up. Everything burns.

"What happened?

"The girl, she..." I felt the boys grip tighten around me as my legs wobbled, my ankles gave out next. The boy held me up.

"Someone grab her and let's go!"

The boy hefted me up in his arms.

"Let her go, god damn it! I got her!"

I felt myself shifted to someone else's arms, Kenny's? I don't know.

I got shot.

" _Don't leave him..._ " I muttered.

Kenny stopped moving and I heard muffled voices.

Arguing?

Another gunshot, this time it wasn't me it hit.

The screaming stopped.

Everything went limp and my stomach burned worse than anything I've ever felt, it hurt more when I was shifted around, every step Kenny took felt like slow agony.

Kenny tried talking to me, I could only muster enough strength to keep my head up. My arms and legs hung limp around him, or maybe I was kicking? I can't feel anything.

I tried to stay awake but everything felt cold. My eyelids felt too heavy to keep up. Too light headed. Too tired. The world is spinning, or is Kenny spinning?

 

I got shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be switching POV's in the next chapter.


	4. Conversation Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one wants to be the new kid.

Lilly knew the sounds as gunshots, a soft echo in the distance. A quick warning to the group sent everyone to the ground.

She knows they aren't stupid enough to waste ammo like this, even Kenny. Shots this frequent and close together isn't hunting, this is a fire fight.

Lilly aimed her rifle to the forest waiting for any sign that will tell her what is happening out there; a shout for help, more gunfire, or maybe a twig snapping. 

Her patience was rewarded with a twig snapping, a rustle in the bushes, and then a figure emerging.

"Gate the gates open!" Lee stumbled out of the bushes wildly, nearly earning a bullet to the face. "We've got wounded!"

Then Kenny stomped out shortly with two new wide eyed faces, what stood out the most is Sharon in his arms, pale and limp. Seeing this Carley ran for the medical supplies.

Questions were being thrown out as the group pulled the gates open, voices were lost as demands were being shouted among them.

"Are you okay?" "What happened?" "Who the fuck are they?" "What's going on?" "Kenny, over here!" "Is she okay?" "Can you do anything?" "What the fuck, Lee?" "Someone get the medical supplies!" "LEE!"

Kenny managed to pick his wife's voice out of the crowd, setting the limp girl down in the back of a truck gently, unsure of what to do next.

Carley brushed by, spreading all the medical supplies by Sharon's side. Katjaa took over and promptly shoved Kenny and Carley to the side and exposing the wound to sunlight. Those who could see didn't like her expression, instead they turned their attention to the argument around them.

"It was an accident." Lee stated. "He didn't mean to-"

Lilly rolled her eyes. "That doesn't make it any better, Lee! We can't feed all these people!"

"Well, hang on!" Carley spoke up. "We haven't even talked to these people yet! Maybe they CAN be helpful!"

"Come on, Lilly. These are people! People trying to survive just like us!" Mark argued, his voice wavering. "We've got to stick together to survive!"

She scoffed. "The only reason why you are here is because you had enough food for all of us! The only reason Sharon is here is because she could get us food." The boys shifted as Lilly looked to them. "That's almost gone, we've got almost a week and a half left, and I don't suppose you two are carrying any groceries, are you?"

Travis squinted at her. "You can't just kick us out!"

"And why not?"

"Are you really going to just force us out? We have no where to go!"

"That's your problem, not ours!"

"Lilly!" Lee stepped between them, aware that with each sentence they would take a step closer.

She ripped her stare from Travis and to Lee, she hated the look he gave her. 

Then it was a power struggle, everyone scattered as the same argument that Kenny and Lilly have. Kenny accused Lilly of being a dictator, Carley told them that they're being ridiculous, Lilly claimed that no one appreciated her, and then Lee tried to calm the situation by being neutral.

Kenny left with Duck in tow, then Lilly stomped away with Lee shortly behind her.

"You know what? I'm not doing it tonight." 

Lee inspected the rations that Lilly had handed him, five items of food for eleven people. That's only enough for all of the women, but can he really place the women over everyone else in the group solely because of their gender? He tried to think about who ate last but he couldn't place any names, he never payed attention because that's Lilly's job.

He shook his head and re counted everyone again, unable to think to himself: "they don't deserve a ration over someone else." Instead he thought about who needs a ration, obviously Sharon does with her injury but seeing as Katjaa is elbow deep in Sharon's blood... they will have tot skip this meal. 

Mark has been shaking from hunger. From where Lee stood he could see Mark drop a board of wood, his hands slipping from the board easily and backing away from the loud clatter. 

Lee stopped standing in thought and approached him, Mark only hesitated long enough to thank Lee when he held out the apple half. After the first mouth full Mark pulled away, taking a breath and looking around.

"Sorry, I..." He brought his shoulders up. "It's just been so long, y'know?"

"I understand." Lee smiled. "Just don't choke, I don't think Katjaa would be able to stop to give you the Heimlich."

Mark's smile cut short, the two took a knowing look to the truck.

"Fuck..." Mark took off his glasses with the hand his ravaged apple is in, then rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "I didn't mean to, Lee. I-I was shaking so bad and that kid-fuck, that kid just tried to take it- I wasn't-"

"Hey, hey..." Lee hushed him, grasping Mark's shoulder. "It was a tense situation, with that man and all the walkers. We were lucky to get out of there."

Mark only shook his head.

"She'll be fine, Mark. Sharon is strong and Katjaa is good at what she does."

Mark rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and replaced his glasses. "Thanks Lee." He muttered, looking down at the ration still in his hand. "Should I... I feel like I don't deserve this, y'know?"

Lee lifted the abandoned board and stood it up. "Finish the apple and finish that fence, then you can beat yourself up about this."

Mark smirked and snatched the board with a light in his eye that wasn't there before. "Ha ha."

Lee watched Mark carry the board toward Larry, the two working together to strengthen the fence. Lee thought about giving a ration to Larry but quickly dismissed it, it could be bias but Lee convinced himself that someone else needs it more than him. A good example: The kids.

As Lee approached everyone looked up. Ben and Travis don't look as happy to see him as Clementine, Carley, and Duck do, Lee knelt and presented the rations to the smiling kids to let them pick what they wanted.

"Only one?" Clementine asked, picking the other half of the apple that Mark didn't get.

Lee felt the guilt like a hot flash. "I'm afraid so, Clem."

"Oh, that's okay." She smiled at him. "A sundae would be better next time."

"I'll keep that in mind." Lee stood up, about to walk away to Kenny until a small hand grabbed his.

"Oh, and if you have any more food, Ben and Travis are hungry too!"

The boys shrunk in their sitting positions at the mention of their names. Lee hadn't considered giving the boys food.

"N-no, it's okay." Ben mumbled. "We, uh..."

"We haven't eaten since yesterday." Travis squinted. "I don't expect you guys to feed us, that warm welcome earlier really told me how much you want us here."

"Travis..."

"Whatever."

Lee wished for a moment that he had Duck's obliviousness to the situation as he happily colored, both Lee and Clementine exchanged a wide eyed look.

"Was I not supposed to say that?"

"No, no, Clem. He... he seems a little hot headed." Lee rubbed her hat-less hair, suddenly noticing something missing. "Where's your hat?"

"I don't know..."

Ben sighed. "Travis, I don't think you should talk to them like that. He was pretty nice compared to... well... everyone else."

"Do I care?" Travis rolled his eyes, no longer trying to listen to what Lee was saying to the little girl. "They killed Mr. Parker, I got one of them shot, no one wants us here, and last I checked; we suck at surviving."

"I-I mean... we've made it this far." Ben said. "We're not in the woods anymore."

"Oh boy, we're so lucky." Travis watched as Clem returned to drawing and Lee wandered off with what's left of the rations, then glared at his own feet.

"And what about the camp? We made it out of that."

"And how many did we leave behind? Fuck, I looked Joey in the eye and ran away, didn't even try to..." Travis paused, catching a glimpse of Ben's face. "I mean..." Travis slouched. "I'm sorry, I know you two were close friends."

"Yeah, it's fine. I'm sorry about Jenny."

Travis's heart hurt. "Don't even fucking mention her."

"Sorry Travis, I-I just-"

"Just shut up." Travis shook his head and finally looked Ben in the eyes. "As soon as we can let's just leave, head to Macon and... fuck, I don't know." Travis spotted Lee again, already behind his chair.

"You seemed pretty desperate to stay." Lee cleared his throat. "Sorry, I-uh... don't mean to eavesdrop."

"Oh great, here to give food to everyone around us?" 

"Travis!" Ben sighed, then looked up to Lee. "Hey, is she going to be okay?"

Travis looked away and listened, not interested in joining the conversation. He'd much rather just listen, until he saw Lee pull out some scraps of jerky.

"A-are you sure?" Ben asked.

"Wait, Ben don't eat that." Travis swiped the jerky from Ben's hands.

"It's not poisoned, if that's what you're thinking." Lee said.

Travis rolled his eyes. "It's our-It's my fault that girl got shot, why are you feeding us?"

"Because you look like you guys need it." Lee shrugged. 

Travis stopped squinting at Lee and divided the jerky fairly between himself and Ben, accepting the offer with little convincing.

"Thanks." Ben nodded with a quick short smile.

There is no more food left.

Lee stood and looked around at who ate, who didn't get to eat, the few that thanked him, and the few that gave him dirty looks. 

He approached Katjaa, apologizing for not offering her anything.

Katjaa sighed. "After digging my hands in... I don't think I could eat anyway."

"Do you need any help?"

"Yes, apply pressure here while I try to close this up."

Lee took a step closer and saw what he was trying to avoid: Sharon's sickly pale skin splattered with her own blood. He tried to pay attention to anything else but Katjaa needed his help. He noted the ribs that showed her weight problem hadn't changed much, he was pulled back to the blood as Katjaa had him hold two folds of flesh. He stared at the blood crusted in to her signature pajama pants, then watched as a needle pierced skin.

"I thought I was starting to get used to this." Katjaa said. "Cut's and bruises are one thing, but Lee, THIS?"

Lee stayed silent at Katjaa's voice wavered.

"I've stitched her up so many times, I don't know how much longer I can handle doing this. I don't know how much longer SHE can handle this!"

"Katjaa..."

"She's lucky, y'know? The bullet passed right through everything vital, I think. What happened? How did this happen?"

Lee frowned. "There was a struggle with a gun and she got in the middle of it, she tried to stop this from happening to someone else."

Katjaa tried to say something but couldn't find the words. 

Instead she pulled Lee's hand from her skin and started cleaning the wound.

"Can you go get Kenny?"

Lee didn't want to leave Katjaa alone, then she gave him a look similar to one his mom gave him.

He turned on his heels.

Kenny and Lee rushed over fearing the worst, their fears not at ease with Katjaa's grim expression and silence. They eyed the pale girl behind her.

"She's lost a lot of blood-"

 

They could hear a pin drop.

 

"-But she will be okay."

Kenny left go of the breath he was holding, relief washing over both men.

"Can you watch over her while I wash this off?" Katjaa spoke, already walking away without hearing an answer.

"Of course." Kenny replied anyways, leaning on the tailgate of the truck and staring at the bandaged wound that already bled through

Ben stood when he noticed Katjaa left, nearly having to pull Travis out of his seat to get him to come with. As they neared Lee cleared his throat, watching as Kenny's expression quickly changed.

"Will she be okay?"

"Don't you take another fucking step." Kenny stood up straight.

"It was an accident, alright!" Travis crossed his arms. "I'm not the one who pulled the trigger, it was the guy with the glasses."

Lee intervened quickly. "Blaming everyone will get us nowhere. It was an accident, no one's fault."

Kenny sighed. "Can you ever pick a goddamn side, Lee?" He lent back on the truck. "She'll make it."

Lee stepped away, no longer needing to calm the easily angered males. Ben tried to say something but it fell flat under his breath, no one cared to ask what he said. Travis didn't even notice that Ben had even said anything, instead shifting positions on his feet and wringing his hands. The nearing footsteps sounded like a metronome echoing in Travis's head.

"I think we should just shoot her now." Travis took a step away, looking to Lee. "She won't make it."

Someone groaned.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lee almost shouted at the boy.

"She's going to turn if we just leave her." Ben said.

Nails dug in to skin.

"What do you mean?" Carley asked, walking around them to stand by Lee.

Kenny stood straight again. "Did you see her get bit and ain't tellin' us about it?"

Dry mouth.

"No?" Travis shook his head, pausing for a moment when he saw Carley's gun. "She's going to kill us all if we let her turn."

"She wasn't bitten, asshole." Kenny stood in between Travis and Sharon, blocking his view. "She's going to make it!"

"Can..."

"How do you know that? She could get up and bite you right now!"

"Can you stop talking about me?"

"What the hell?"

"Travis!"

It happened so abruptly that Kenny didn't have time to react, turning to see the weaselly boy in a varsity jacket with a gun.

No one moved, listening to something clinking on the gun and rapid breathing. 

Sharon blinked through the tears, finally seeing what everyone else did.

"I'd rather not get shot twice in one day."

The fear and shaking from Travis stopped as Carley snatched her gun back and was back in an instant when Kenny shoved him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kenny shouted, shoving Travis again. "She wasn't bitten you fuckin' moron!"

"I thought she was going to turn!"

"I wasn't bit!" Sharon shouted, her voice strained and weak.

"She wasn't bit." Lee repeated. 

"Why do you keep saying she's going to turn?" Carley asked, holding her gun tight.

"And I'm the moron." Travis scoffed. "Are you in denial?"

"Travis." Ben butt in, stopping his shorter friend from continuing. "I don't think they know..."

"Don't know what?" Kenny asked, turning away for a moment to check up on Sharon. 

Travis rolled his eyes and turned his back to Ben. "You tell them." He walked away a few paces, leaving the more nervous boy in the spotlight.

A crowd had gathered around, staring as Ben fidgeted with his fingers. "It's not the bite that does it."

Sharon tried to sit up on her elbows, Katjaa hushed her and forced Sharon to stay down.

"You come back no matter how you die. If you don't destroy the brain, that's just what happens. I-It's going to happen to all of us."

"We're all infected?" Lee muttered. "Everyone?"

"Yeah, everyone." Travis spoke, looking Kenny in the eyes. "I watched people turn who didn't get bitten."

Ben quickly spoke up. "When I first saw it happen, w-we were hiding out in a gym and everybody thought we were finally safe." Ben shrugged, wringing his hands together. "But one of the girls-"

"Jenny Pitcher." Travis muttered, glaring at Ben for a moment then to the road.

"Yeah- uhm... Jenny, she couldn't take everything that was happening, she took some pills... a lot of pills." Ben glanced to Travis. "S-someone went in the girls' room the next morning and..."

The grim silence was followed with Sharon's loss of consciousness, and two men nearing the gates that only Carley noticed. 

"BACK OFF!"

"Woah! Lady, relax!"

Ben pulled Travis out of the way, standing back out of the way of the guns.

"Me an my brother, we... we just want to know if ya'll can help us out." The man called out, holding up an empty red gas can. 

The group continued the interrogation with Carley holding them at gunpoint. The brothers didn't seem overly suspicious, even with the promise of food in exchange for gas.

Lee and Lilly talked in hushed voices, deciding to take a small group to check them out with gas from the truck.

While Kenny pumped the gas for the men Lilly gathered everyone around to inform everyone what the plan is. 

"Carley, Mark, Lee, and one of the new kids will go to the farm and get the food."

"Wait, what?" Travis spoke, ruining the hushed tone Lilly was trying to keep. "When did we agree to this?"

Lilly crossed her arms. "I would have sent Sharon, but she can't." She sighed. "Either you agree, or you leave."

Kenny nodded. "Are we gonna vote for which one goes?"

"I'll go." Ben shrugged, stopping Travis and possibly Kenny from arguing further.

Once Lee's small group left everyone had scattered. 

Travis was warned to stay out of rooms until he can be trusted alone so he wandered the walls pretending to inspect the defenses.

Larry argued that Sharon could turn at any moment and kill everyone so Katjaa, with Kenny's help, lifted Sharon from the bed of the truck and up to her room.

Larry left to take a nap before Lee's group comes back, letting Lilly know he doesn't want Travis to stay before he left.

Duck and Clementine tried to play a board game but they didn't understand the directions, Duck made up new rules and Clementine let him.

"I don't need a fucking babysitter." Travis rolled his eyes, only making Lilly angrier.

"We don't trust you alone here looking through our stuff!" Lilly argued.

Kenny stomped out of Sharon's room, narrowing his eyes at Travis as he stood up from a kneel.

"Through what? A soccer ball and some wood?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." Lilly adjusted the rifle in her arms. "We're keeping an eye on you."

"Jesus..." Travis kicked the soccer ball, uncaring for where it went.

Katjaa poked her head out of the room. "Is everything okay?" 

"Just the new piss-ant, causin' more trouble." Kenny shook his head, turning to face his wife. "Need any more help, or uh-"

"No, I can handle the rest." Katjaa tried to smile, she only look worried.

"Do you think she'll be okay?"

"I don't know, she lost so much blood. I have to go, don't wait for me, hun."

Kenny hummed in response, facing away and keeping a wary eye on Travis, who in turn scrunched up his face knowing that now _two_ people are watching him.

Katjaa quietly closed the doors and sat back down on the bed, thumbing over Sharon's cuts and bruises that lined her arms. These are the types of wounds she's used to caring after, 'boubous' and 'owies' were the most of her problems, but a gun shot wound? Even if Katjaa managed to stop the bleeding, what about infection? She had no gloves and only used hand sanitizer before plunging in to Sharon's guts. If she managed to survive the bleeding, could she survive the infection?

Sharon moved, taking a deep breath and grabbing her face with bared nails.

"Sweetie, don't." Katjaa pried the hand away, watching as the deep marks on the young woman's face threatened to bleed. 

"Mom it hurts..." Sharon cried, pulling at the sheets below her. "Where's Bo? Is he okay?"

Katjaa hushed her, running her free hand through Sharon's choppy hair. "Everything will be fine, dear. Just try to get some rest."

Katjaa watched as Sharon's chest rose with each breath, fearing that any moment Sharon wont breath anymore, fearing that her pale skin will only get lighter, fearing that the hand she holds will pull her close for a bite.

She can't watch that happen.

Sharon's hand fell limp as Katjaa let her go, unknowing that Sharon reached out as the door shut.

"Don't... don't leave me alone..."

"How is she?" Kenny asked, putting down his tools as his wife neared. "Is she-"

"She's in pain, weak, tired. She called me mom. I think she asked me about her dog."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to Bwaarf & Xhivae who left a nice comment, who pretty much made me get the motivation to write this.


	5. Guess Who's Coming To Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's cold here.

At first Sharon had thought someone had stolen her kidneys, seeing as she's nearly naked with a massive soaked bandage over her stomach in a shitty hotel room. When she rubbed her eyes and gathered her thoughts she remembered what had happened, she got shot.

The lingering pain felt nothing compared to when she would wake up with Katjaa digging in her guts, she almost felt strong enough to get out of bed but she tried to do so anyway.

The first initial move felt like lightning through every cell in her body, if her nails were longer her palms would have indents. Once a majority of the pain subsided Sharon pushed herself to move, dropping her legs over the side of the bed and waited to catch her breath. In a matter of minutes she managed to stand with one hand on the wall to keep her balance.

It took her even longer to get dressed, shimmying her pants up her leg without bending over too far and with one arm over her stomach as if to keep her guts from spilling out. 

"I just hope it was only Katjaa that saw me naked."

She shivered at the thought of anyone else seeing her without anything but her underwear, even knowing Katjaa had done this made her uncomfortable, though she did have a motherly feeling about her that eased some of the shivers.

Sharon glanced out her window, able to see Lilly in daylight from atop the RV awning and Kenny stomping up the stairs to the deck.

Kenny stopped when he heard the door opening, happy to see Sharon's skin hadn't gotten paler.  
"You look like shit, girl."

Sharon snorted, pushing herself from the wall and leaning against the railing, Kenny joined her with a light one armed hug.

"Good to see you're up, but-uh... should you really be walkin' around like that?" 

"I'll be fine." She cleared her throat. "What did I miss?"

Kenny let Sharon go from the hug. "Well... two men stopped by while you were out, sayin' they got a nice set-up on some farm, lots'a food. Lee took Carley, Mark, and one of them new kids out to check it out."

"How long ago was that?"

"About an hour or two-"

Sharon dropped her shoulders, thank god.

"-hard to tell when Lee is the only one with a working watch." He sighed, taking one last look at Sharon and stepping away from the railing. "You should probably get some rest, or yell at the new shitbird for gettin' you shot."

Sharon decided to not do any of those things, instead she just listened to the wind rattling the trees, watching a few of the first red leafs fall, noting the dark clouds way in the distance heading this direction.

"How about now?" Clem held up her drawing for the third time. 

"Oh, it's a cat!" Duck exclaimed, looking to Travis. "Do you wanna try? We have a lot of crayons."

"No thanks, kid." Travis leaned back, suddenly standing when he saw a figure stumbling down the stairs. When he realized she isn't a walker he relaxed, watching as Clem rushed to greet her and wondered if he should talk to her now or wait for her to approach him.

"They're back!"

Clementine gasped, looking to the gates and then back to Sharon with her arms close to her chest.

"It's okay, Clem. I can handle some stairs by myself."

She took that as permission to leave and rushed away, Sharon tried to follow but could only take the stairs one step at a time. Once she reached flat ground she rushed to the group just in time to see Ben holding out a wicker basket to Lilly and Larry, both of them grabbed a biscuit.

"-Fresh biscuits, enough for everybody." Carley smiled, reaching in the basket and handing one to Sharon. "They invited us for dinner, in exchange for the gas and to have Katjaa to look at their cow."

"Where's Lee and Mark?" Lilly asked.

"They stayed behind." Ben spoke, handing a biscuit to Travis. "And... um..."

Lilly paused, watching as Ben and Carley seemed to squirm under her stare.

"Did they seem okay?" Sharon asked. "I mean, not suspicious or-"

"Wait." Lilly stopped her and gave Carley and Bed a glare familiar to everyone. "Why aren't you two having any?"

Everyone paused, Sharon nearly ripped hers in half at the sight of the empty basket.

"We, uh..."

"We had some on the way here." Carley finished. "There was two extra."

"Carley!"

Kenny scoffed. "I expected this outta' the kid, but you?"

"Hey." Sharon stopped the oncoming argument. "I know for a fact that Carley has gone without food longer than a lot of us, I have no excuse for- uh- him, but cut her some slack."

"Thanks, Sharon." Carley crossed her arms, facing back to Lilly. "I'm willing to stay back and watch the inn while everyone else eats dinner."

"That's more than fair." Lilly grumbled. "Ben will stay with, too."

Travis sighed. 

Carley hashed out the directions to the farm, making sure that everyone knew about the bandits that were fighting on the road.

"Alright everyone, let's head out." Lilly called, opening the gates for everyone to fit through.

As the group funneled through Kenny reached out, stopping Sharon from continuing with a stern fatherly look. "Where do you think you're going?" The group stopped as Kenny pointed to Sharon's gut. "I don't think you should be goin' anywhere with that weighing you down."

"I think she should come with us." Katjaa disagreed, walking up behind her. "It's been too long since any of us have had real food, she should come with."

Kenny quickly caved from his wife's stare and let Sharon through.

 

Sharon hardly managed to keep up the pace, Katjaa said that it's normal that it hurts and she's stiff from a mix of blood loss and dehydration. 

The group had no protest to taking the occasional break, the only other person who is used to walking long periods is Kenny, everyone else aside from Travis only walked around the Inn.

"How's the bullet hole doin' kid?" Kenny asked during after a quick rest.

Sharon tightened her arm around her stomach. "I guess I'm fine, I wish we had some painkillers to spare, though."

" _Fine?_ You got shot point blank and could have _died,_ and you're just _FINE?_ " He shook his head and chuckled. "Weird definition of fine."

On the verge of asking for another break Sharon had wished she brought something to use as a cane, she debated using Duck and possible calming him down from his eager bouncing. She turned to Clementine and noticed that she had been walking alone the whole time, nervously staring around her.

"How are you doing, Clem?"

Clem stared at Sharon's stomach for a bit before responding. "Okay..." She shrugged. "Have you seen my hat? I was going to ask you when you got back, but... you know..."

Sharon admired Clementine's hair and how it indented where her hat should be. "The only place I've seen your hat is on your head." Clem sighed. "I'm sorry it's missing."

"My dad gave it to me, I thought Duck took it but he said he didn't."

"Why would he take it?"

She crossed her arms. "Because I put a bug on his pillow."

Sharon stifled a laugh, noticing how serious Clementine took this matter. "I'm sure you'll find it, I know I'd be upset if I couldn't find my pajama pants."

Clem uncrossed her arms and looked. "Did your dad give it to you?"

"Yeah, he did!" Sharon smiled, letting go of her stomach. "I had five pairs back at home, it's my signature look, just like your hat."

Sharon felt accomplished as Clementine smiled at that.

"Dad said I could borrow it, so when I see them again I'll give it back." Clem frowned. "If I find it."

Sharon hesitated. "My-I'm not borrowing these from him, though it would be funny to see him wear a new pair." Clem didn't react. "I got these for my birthday, along with the other five pairs. For Christmas and every birthday my parents would get me jeans or dresses hoping I would wear it, but I never did."

"Why not?"

"I just didn't like the feel of it, but when he got me these I felt like he finally understood, y'know?"

Clementine shrugged. "Sometimes Lee says stuff that I don't know, but when I ask he helps me understand. Is it like that?"

"Yeah, kinda." Sharon nodded, then sighed. "I miss those parties, I remember my face turning blue from the helium."

"I've done that before!" Clem smiled. "I sounded like a robot." Sharon couldn't imagine the little girl's voice being any higher pitched. "But then I got really dizzy, and my mom got mad at my dad."

"My friend Lisa and I got in trouble too, we snuck up on the stage and started singing with the balloons."

Clementine laughed as they told stories back and forth. By distracting Clementine from her hat and Lee's absence: Sharon had successfully distracted herself from her pain, until they reached the farm.

All surrounding chatter had stopped, everyone just stared at the farm. Not a bloodstain in sight, no makeshift fences, no hint of an outbreak outside the corn stalks and clear fields. It almost looked as if the dead had never rose, aside from the lack of farm-hands on such a large lot.

Andy and his mother Brenda met the group at the gates with wide smiles, eyeing up Larry, Kenny and Katjaa as they neared.

"You guys must be the group Andy and Danny were talkin' about!" The woman called out. "Ya'll must be hungry from the walk here."

"Sure are." Kenny smiled, placing a hand on Duck's shoulder to stop him from bouncing.

"I'm Brenda St. John, and welcome to the St. John Dairy!" 

Katjaa reached out to hand Brenda her wicker basket back but dropped it suddenly.

"Mark! Oh my god, what happened?!" 

Everyone turned, watching as Lee and Mark fled from deeper inside the property, the latter having an arrow embedded deep in to his shoulder.

"Christ!" Lilly called out. "Are you going to be okay?"

Mark panted. "Yeah, I'll be alright once it's out, but..." Mark glanced over, quickly looking away when he saw Sharon. "I should just... pull it out..."

"Oh no, honey." Brenda put a hand on his back, opposite side of the arrow, and guided him away. "Brenda's got you, c'mon inside now." Katjaa followed close behind them. "We'll have you all sorted out."

As Larry and Kenny stirred up an argument Travis and Sharon couldn't pull their eyes away from Mark, even after he was inside they stared at the doorway. Sharon wanted to run and follow them inside but her legs refused to move.

Andy made a comment about a swing and tore the kids away from the scene, though before leaving Clementine asked the two frozen young adults to follow her.

Sharon felt a tug on her hand that turned in to a pull, the small hand leading her to stand next to Travis near by the swing.

Clementine sat on a log and patiently waited her turn as Kenny pushed Duck, Travis and Sharon stood farther away, just out of earshot.

"It's them." Travis muttered, crossing his arms to hide his shaking hands. "It's the bandits from before, the one who took us. I can't go back there."

Sharon stayed silent.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I don't know what to do, everything hurts and I feel so-" She took a breath. "Just-Why do you think it's the same people, it could be a different group."

"Yes, another group of bandits that hold grudges and terrorize innocent people for food." Travis scoffed. "Fucking- look, I'm sorry I got you shot, but if those bandits get a hold of us then you would have been better off dead."

'T-Travis, right?" He nodded. "What happened to your group? Would it really be that bad?"

"Let's just say..." Travis started to walk away. "I'm happy my girlfriend killed herself when she did, I wouldn't want to see what they would have done to her."

Before Sharon could react to that statement Lee walked by, watching as Travis stomped away.

"You-uh, okay there Sharon?" Lee asked. "He wasn't giving you trouble, was he?"

Sharon shook her head. "No, he's fine. The bandits kinda... well, knowing they even exist is troubling."

"I hear ya', it wasn't too pleasant while I was getting shot at by them." Lee hesitated. "Do you... feel safe here?"

Sharon shrugged. "I don't know, it's a lot better than the inn, but..."

"But...?"

"It comes with downsides. They only have one cow that's sick apparently, who knows how many crops they can grow with the lack of farmhands, and the bandits?" Sharon ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know, seeing Mark like that may have just made me nervous."

Clementine walked over and asked Lee to push her on the swing, putting an end to their conversation. Kenny replaced him and Duck sat next to her.

"How's the bullet hole doin', kid?"

Sharon shrugged. "Would be better if I could take a nap."

"Then take a load off, kid." Kenny grabbed on to her shoulder and shook her lightly. "No one's gonna get mad that you're takin' a break."

Sharon did as he said and relaxed, struggling to sit down at first then she took in a breath of cold fresh air, listening to the sound of wind through long dry grass, the warm sun rays through the shade of the tree, calm chatter around.

It's a change she can't get used to.

Soon Lee had to leave with Danny, and Sharon felt uneasy. She could only think about Lee coming back with an arrow in his back, or worse Danny coming back alone. Sharon didn't like the look of Danny, she tried to politely smile when he neared but couldn't help but catch him staring at Clementine. 

For Lee's safety Sharon wished that Andy had gone with him, but for her own personal comfort she is glad that Danny had left.

After Clem and Duck had multiple turns on the swing, they paused as Katjaa neared, looking up to her.

"Mark should be fine, he just needs some rest." Katjaa sighed. "I'm going to go look at their cow. Kids, do you want to come see?"

Duck and Clem nearly raced to the barn, Katjaa helped Sharon off the ground as she struggled to do so on her own. Andrew waited until the adults arrived to open the barn doors.

Everyone aside from Andy winced at the warm air wafting towards them that smelled like shit. 

Sharon already felt weak from the loss of blood, she nearly collapsed on to a hay bale inside.

"Uh, Sharon right?" Andy hesitated, eyeing her from afar.

"Yeah?" Sharon looked up, she tried to hide her shivering.

"Are you feeling okay? You're lookin' a little pale."

"I'm fine, just a little tired is all."

"Are you sure? We have more room in the house if you want to rest, sure your friend Mark would appreciate the company."

She smiled. "No, I'm okay but thank you for the offer."

Andy shrugged and sat by the cow as Katjaa inspected her.

Sharon couldn't keep her eyes open, promising herself that she will only be asleep for a few minutes.

 

 

_It's so cold._

_I wish Lisa was here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Xhivae and Abby for commenting c:


	6. Too Much Salt Will Kill You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's warm here.

"Sharon, wake up, wake up, it's dinner time!!"

Sharon tried to steady herself on the hay bale as Duck shook her awake.

"Mom said we're getting real food, c'mon, let's go!"

Sharon felt herself sitting up quicker than she physically could with her wound, Duck pushed at her back trying to get her up faster.

"Go easy on her, Duck." Katjaa rushed over to calm him down, and when he did she walked ahead of them.

Duck stopped pushing and instead took Sharon hand, as they walked she tried to blink away the groggy feeling. Staring up at the cloudy dark sky proved her thought earlier this day correct: It's going to rain soon.

When inside the home Duck quickly abandoned Sharon to go sit in between Clementine and his mom, Brenda stepped out of the kitchen and her eyes landed on the pale young woman.

"Well hello there, you sure look like a fish outta' water!" Brenda smiled, setting down a covered platter on the table. "I don't think we've met, were you the one napping in the barn?"

"Yeah, sorry, I guess I really needed the sleep."

"Oh dear, don't apologize!" Brenda smiled wide though it quickly faltered. "And I hear you've been hurt recently, is that true?"

Sharon nodded, wrapping an arm around her stomach. "I got shot in the woods, it was an accident."

"Oh my!" Brenda placed a hand on Sharon's shoulder. "You poor thing, are you sure you don't wanna rest upstairs on a bed?"

"I already asked her momma." Andy chimed in, looking around. "Hey- uh, where's Lee?"

"Who cares?" Larry grumbled, sitting by Clem and the chair that Brenda had rested her jacket on.

Danny nudged Andy and mumbled something too quiet for Sharon to hear and Brenda turned away. Were it not for the hole in her gut she would follow Brenda in to the kitchen and help her serve the meal, and if it were not for Katjaa and the kids willing her to sit down she would have helped anyways.

She hated not being able to help, watching Mark slip away and Brenda setting the table by her self made her feel useless, it's in her nature to help. Working hard at home to make sure her little brother and sister were well taken care of and even volunteering at the church whenever possible made her feel like she mattered, and Lisa was always there to keep her from overworking.

The dining room flooded with more people as Andy left, Danny sat across from Larry to sit by his mother, Kenny left the head of the table for Andy and sat across from his wife, glaring as Travis sat on the same bench with equal room away from Danny and Kenny.

As Sharon settled in between Clementine and Duck, the boy berated her with questions about dinner.

"Where do you think the meat came from? Where did they get the green beans? From a can or from the farm? I thought farms had more people, where is everyone else? If they have a cow, why aren't we drinking milk?"

She was only able to answer a few of his ongoing questions, everyone thought that the questions wouldn't end until Brenda re-entered the room with a refilled pitcher. 

"My, my. You sure are a talker!" She laughed, setting the pitcher of water down on the table. Her smiled faded. "Do you always ask this many questions?"

Lilly left the bathroom and noticed the only open seat would have to be next to Danny, sharing Sharon's opinions on him she decided to sit far away from him, in between Travis and Kenny as it's the only other option.

"Normally, no." Katjaa answered. "He's just excited for dinner."

"I guess so!"

Soon Lee entered with Andy shortly behind him.

"Everybody stay seated and I'll go get the meal!" Brenda smiled, patting her son on the back as she passed. "This is a delight!"

Lee entered the room and looked around, only one seat left for him between Travis and Danny. "Where's Mark?"

"Momma already brought him some food, don't worry Lee, we're takin' care of him." Andy remarked. "Sit down and we'll take care of ya'."

He hesitated. "Mind if I wash my hands first?"

Andy sighed lightly. "Yeah, it's right behind you, go easy on the hot water."

Lee left and Brenda took his place with a serving bowl of green beans in one hand and a basket of something familiar in the other.

"More biscuits!" Duck called out. "Wow!"

"Go ahead and serve yourselves up while I get the meat!" Brenda left, a delighted smile as everyone reached for the food.

Travis didn't make any moves as bowls and silverware clattered, staring at his lap and picking at his nails.

Sharon noticed this, lightly lifting her leg and reaching out blindly, hoping only to get his attention. He flinched at the contact and stared across the table, she cocked an eyebrow as if to ask, "what's wrong? Are you okay?" with only a look.

He shook his head, about to speak until Clementine asked Sharon to help her put together her plate.

"Shouldn't someone be outside?" Travis asked, Andy and Danny paid no mind. "I mean- to watch for bandits, they could just sneak up on us at any moment."

Kenny didn't want to agree with him, but he did. "He's got a point." Kenny glanced behind him to the bathroom where Lee should be, the door is open and Lee is nowhere to be seen. He almost got chills.

"You don't gotta worry about them." Danny mumbled. "Lee and I made sure they got the message; we won't be fucked with."

Clementine almost called him out for swearing, but Sharon quickly stopped her. Bad vibes emanated from Danny.

"And the generator is running, no one's gonna try to touch that fence."

Travis slumped as his idea was shot down. "Doesn't mean they can't get around it, this is dumb, someone should be on watch."

Larry glared at Travis. "Kid, just shut you're mouth. You're lucky we didn't kick you out when you arrived, you should be thankful."

"Now, now." Brenda chided, entering the room with two platters. "Settle down, I understand ya'll must be hungry but that don't mean you gotta take it out on each other."

Larry quickly agreed to make Brenda happy, she set down the platters and took her spot at the head of the table, everyone but Travis reached out to serve themselves.

"Lee, did you fall in?" Brenda called out, smiling at the sight of Sharon cutting Clementine's meat for her. "Dinner's at the table and everyone's havin' at!"

At the sight of everyone eating Travis decided to throw away his suspicions just for a moment, taking a slice of meat. Once Sharon finished cutting most of Clementine's meat in to bite sized chunks she began eating from her own plate, even stealing some from Duck just to make him laugh.

Silverware clattered hard with plates as Lee burst in the room shouting.

"Clementine, DON'T!"

Clem nervously put her fork down, staring at the meat that stuck to the fork. Travis coughed as the start caused some meat to get stuck in his throat, only for a moment.

"Lee- Jesus, man!" Kenny put down his silverware. "Did you find something?"

"Sit your ass down, Lee." Larry nearly shouted, calming down as he addressed Brenda. "This Lady has made you a meal."

As Lee struggled for words, Sharon and Travis were both suddenly aware of Danny still eating with a stoic expression, muttering under his breath.

"It didn't have to be this way..."

"Mark is upstairs with his fucking legs cut off!" Lee shouted.

Duck finally stopped eating, turning to look at his father. Sharon pulled Clementine closer to Katjaa, becoming hyper aware of how close they really were to Danny.

"This is a dairy, not a ranch!" Lee argued, mainly addressing Lilly and Larry. "Think about it."

Travis and Sharon locked eyes for a moment, hoping to find an ounce of disbelief or comfort. None was found.

Brenda's voice cut through the silence. "It's true."

"He woulda' died anyway!" Andy quickly shouted, making Katjaa very uncomfortable with how close she is to him and how he separated her from Kenny. "We gotta think about LIVIN'!"

"Settle down, honey." Brenda warned from across the table, the candle light and the chunks of meat on her plate turned her from a sweet country mother to an evil hick maniac. "Growin' up in rural Georgia, you're taught not to waste. It's how I was raised and how I raised my boys."

Danny didn't put his fork down, he continued to eat.

"Now you got monsters roamin' around that do nothin' but eat people, and for what? To continue to rot til' they eat some more!"

Duck stared at the meat on his plate.

"Andy is right; we got after folks who were gonna die anyways, one way or another."

Danny stopped eating, looking up at nothing in particular. "Like y'all."

The room sprang in to action, guns being pointed around the table, shouting, screaming.

Sharon thought back to Mark and subconsciously covered her own wound. "All Mark had was an arrow in his shoulder!" She cried out, Clem scooted closer to her.

"Nobody's going anywhere!" Andy screamed back, pointing his rifle at Kenny's chest, causing him to sit back down.

"We got lots of use for ya'll right here." Danny muttered again, his low and uncaring voice made Sharon's stomach turn.

Shouting and screaming continued, questions and demands, heavy breathing, standing in threatening positions.

Katjaa screamed as Andy gripped her hair, pointing his gun as Kenny nearly climbed over the table ready to tackle him, Sharon took Duck with her free hand and stopped him from aiding his mother.

The scene stopped as something clattered upstairs, something tumbling down the stairs, scraping against the floor, cries from pain.

" _Somebody..._ "

Some had wished he was a walker instead, a legless walker dragging himself on the ground leaving blood trails in his wake, collapsing at the archway. Mark gasped for air, his eyes meeting Travis's only for a moment. 

Sharon stared again at the meat on the platter, Mark's legs presented on fine china presented with little bits of decorative cilantro.

Lee turned, calling out for Clementine and being interrupted as the butt of Danny's gun hit the back of his head.

"LEE!"

"Here's what's gonna happen!" Andy shouted through the protests, aiming his pistol at Katjaa's temple. "Everyone put their weapons on the table and whatever is in your pockets."

"Someone get what's in Lee's pockets." Danny muttered, waving his rifle around recklessly. "He took our multi-tool, I know it."

No one wanted to oblige, eventually items and weapons were on the table. Brenda looked to Larry as he had something jingling in his pocket.

"All I got is a wedding ring and some change, you think I'm gonna do anything with _that_?"

Brenda sighed, turning to look at Andy. "Get these people to the barn." She spoke, nearing Danny to whisper something, he nodded.

Clem stayed glued to Sharon's side the whole walk, Larry tried to protest but being the strongest in the group he was forced to carry Lee, Kenny wanted to stay by his wife and child's side but was forced to walk in a straight line, Sharon wanted to stay with Clementine once they reached the back of the barn but was forced out of her grip.

"What are you doing!" Sharon called out, reaching as Clementine was roughly shoved ahead. "Clementine!"

The heavy freezer door clicked shut leaving Katjaa, Duck, and Sharon alone outside with Andy and Danny.

"Come back here!" Larry pounded on the doors. "You're just going to lock us in here like fucking animals!?"

"You fuckers let go of my family!" Kenny shouted, his voice fading away as the women and child were led back up to the house. "God damn it!"

Duck quietly hung on to his mother as they walked, Katjaa took Sharon's hand and kept them close. 

When they walked through the front door Brenda had just finished dragging Mark back upstairs, staring at the blood trail.

"Look at this mess, gonna' take me weeks to get those blood stains out." She spoke as if this were a wine spill after a rowdy family dinner instead of a horror scene.

"Good, you're here." Brenda looked to her sons, ignoring the three prisoners by their side. "Andy, be a dear and escort our _guest_ upstairs, make sure the other one wont come back down."

"What?" Sharon felt herself being pried from Katjaa's grip, planting her feet to the spot. "No! I don't-"

The struggle quickly ended when Danny reached and punched Sharon in the gut, she could feel something rip inside of her as she fell to the ground.

"Katjaa, make this easy on us and sit down, we have to talk."

"I'm not- don't- let me go!" Sharon cried out, unable to truly squirm under Andy's grip. "Why are you taking me up here, let me go! Stop!"

As Andy reached the top step he slammed Sharon against the wall and pushed her head in to the drywall. "Stop fuckin' strugglin', girl!" He yanked her from the wall and shoved her down the hall towards a closet. "You ain't getting outta' here!"

"Katjaa!" Sharon cried, her shouting muffled as she was once again shoved in to a wall.

"Girl if you don't shut the hell up I'll shoot you right now, then we won't have to worry about this part."

"This part?"

Sharon turned her head as far as Andy's grip would allow her, it's too dark for her to see what he was doing one handed in the closet, he seemed to be lost as well. In frustration he took the young woman with both hands, Katjaa could feel the vibrations as Sharon was roughly handled up above.

He fumbled in the dark as Sharon recovered from that hit, pressing herself against the wall and trying to stand.

She swatted at her neck too late, feeling what felt like a bad bug bite. When the light reflected the glass of the syringe she knew what had happened.

Andy gripped her hair and quickly tossed her in a bedroom, stepping outside for only a moment to retrieve something left behind, a crossbow.

Sharon's thoughts spun as the drug kicked in, watching in a daze as Andy took the arrow from the bow and held it with both hands, plunging it in to Mark's skull with a sickening crunch.

Everything felt unreal as Andy switched on a bedside light and tied her left wrist to the bedpost with some rope, forcing her to lay down with a weak shove.

She felt her body sink in to the mattress, not knowing when Andy had left or how long she had been laying there, or how long that smell of blood and burnt hair had been in the air. 

Unable to move she stared at the ceiling, the hum of voices downstairs indistinguishable from the thunder from outside.

Just as the shadows in the room started to blend in with the soft lamp light she felt a dip in the bed, a familiar face came in to view with a friendly smile and long black hair, loving eyes warmed Sharon to the core.

 

 

_Why haven't you been looking for me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Burning skin smells like burning hair, I know from experience.
> 
> Also, I very quickly got this chapter up, so if there are any continuity or spelling errors let me know and I'll fix it
> 
> Thank you to Xhivae for the lovely comments!


	7. You Fight Like A Dairy Farmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain is different on drugs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sharon is on drugs in this chapter, and there is heavy use of violence/abuse later on.

"Now that she's taken care of, let's talk." Brenda sighed, watching as Danny left the house to watch the barn.

That left Katjaa and Duck alone in the house with Andy and Brenda. Andy leaned on the archway with his pistol in his crossed arms, Brenda sat at the table and watched as Katjaa squirmed in her chair.

Katjaa eyed the stairs for a moment. "What are you going to do to us?"

"Nothin', if you cooperate." Andy spoke, pushing himself from the archway to stand behind his mother. "You make sure Maybelle gets out of this alive and we'll keep you and your family alive, understand?"

"What about the others?" Katjaa stared at the bloodstains on the ground, the memory of Mark dragging himself fresh in her mind and seeing Sharon being led up the very same trail. "And what about Sharon, what are you going to do with her?!"

Brenda shook her head. "You don't gotta worry about her, you worry about your family."

Katjaa's stomach lurched. "She _IS_ my family! You can't hurt her!"

Brenda looked up to her son in worry, Andy stared at the ground.

Then he remembered. "Lee told me already that she ain't your daughter."

"Lyin' won't get you anywhere." Brenda narrowed her eyes. "She's hurt already, you saw how pale she is. Won't make the night."

"You can't do that!" Duck cried, lurching forward at Brenda. "Leave her alone!"

Katjaa held her son back, roughly pushing Duck behind her as Brenda pulled out a gun.

"What do you want with us?" Katjaa shouted. "Just leave us alone!"

"You sit your ass back down!" Brenda demanded, smiling once Katjaa obliged with Duck back on her lap. "Good, now we can't keep that many people alive back there, we'll keep your husband alive as long as he doesn't get any bright idea's." 

"Want me to handle this momma?" Andy asked.

"Your brother's been achin' to do this, let him decide who stays alive." Brenda spoke, as if they were deciding what flavor of pie they were to have for desert. "Just not the girl, not enough meat on her."

"Well, you could say the same about the girl upstairs."

Katjaa covered Duck's ears.

"She's already injured, would take more supplies to keep her alive."

"Okay, momma." Andy nodded, leaving Katjaa and Duck in the hands of his mother.

"What do you want with us? Why are you doing this?"

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Are you really that dense? We need you to keep Maybelle and her calf alive, I never knew how to handle the cows, that was Terry's job."

"And what about when the calf is born? Then what will you do? Hold me hostage?"

Brenda hesitated. "Maybe. Depends on how useful you are."

"And what about Duck? What about Kenny?"

"We could sit here and hash out what-if's all night, I'm not quite in the mood to do that right now." Brenda sighed, looking at all the wasted food on the table and bringing a stray plate closer. "If you agree to help us with Maybelle, then you and your boy can live."

"And if I don't?"

Brenda huffed, taking a bite out of the meat.

Katjaa understood her message. She covered Duck's eyes.

Andy returned, smiling when he saw his mother eating. "Just couldn't let it go to waste, huh?"

Brenda laughed, _laughed_ at that. "Of course."

He looked to Katjaa, then back to his mother.

"So, Kat... what'll it be, we can put you out in the barn with the others, or you can comply and you can stay out here."

"You're insane." Katjaa backed away. "All of you are insane, I'm not helping you!" 

Brenda groaned, standing from her chair. "This isn't going anywhere, take the boy." 

"No, please god-" 

Andy didn't hesitate, struggling to get Duck away from his mothers grip. 

"No, NO!"

Brenda intervened, aiding Andy by holding Katjaa back. "Just shut up an he'll be fine." She snapped, easily taking Duck away once she pointed her gun at his temple. "If you do what we tell ya' he won't get hurt."

Katjaa backed down, flinching at the sound of thunder. Andy looked up, eyeing the door.

"What's wrong, honey?" Brenda asked, aiming her gun at Katjaa to keep her from moving. "Everything-"

"Something's up." Andrew muttered, stopping his mother from continuing. "I'm gonna take the boy and check around back."

"No, please don't take my boy!" Katjaa shouted, her voice faltering as Duck was led away at gunpoint.

"Settle down." Brenda threatened, holding her own gun to Katjaa and forcing the frightened mother to sit down. "I don't want to hurt ya."

Andrew moved the light barricade that covered the back door and terrible blood stains, leading Duck out the back door, leaving Katjaa and Brenda alone.

"Please, don't hurt us, please-"

"Oh, be quiet!" Brenda crossed her arms.

At the sound of footsteps through the rain Brenda raised her gun, eyes widening at the door. Andy had gone around the back, he couldn't have reached the door by now.

"Andy? Danny, is that you?" She called out, nervous at the silhouette that froze when Brenda peeked out the screen door. "What's going on out there?"

Lee's heart froze when Brenda neared the door. He hesitated, knowing he wouldn't be able to impersonate the boys, he stayed silent and hoped Brenda just didn't see him.

"Oh god..." Brenda backed away, her heart racing as the figure stared back. She looked to Katjaa, panicked as she didn't know what to do. "Come here."

 

 

 

 

 

Sharon drifted in and out of consciousness, she'd often hear arguing but everything sounded so far away, the smell of burnt hair and blood was almost overpowering. 

In her waking moments she tugged at the rope that was hastily tied to her wrist, feeling the bindings become loose with every 'hard' tug. Eventually the ropes did fall off, though she hadn't felt freedom until she pulled her arm away from the post and it fell limp to her side.

Then she heard a voice, not like the ones arguing downstairs. A voice clear, warm, and familiar.

"Sharon," The voice called. "Get up."

Sharon turned her head at the nickname, seeing a familiar figure in front of the door, she looked so clear compared to the blurry... everything.

"Ronnie, please, get out of bed." The voice begged.

Sharon tried to sit up, her own body weighed her down, she couldn't get any distance from the bed. She didn't know how long she took, not realizing her progress until she had gotten one leg off of the bed.

She tried again with her other leg, forgetting which leg she had to move for a moment until she felt the sway of her right leg falling off the bed.

She tried to open her eyes, glued to a squint. After minutes of squinting turned to unconciousness she lifted her hand over to pry her eyes open (resulting in accidentally slapping herself). 

Pushing with her legs and using her newfound sight to grab on to the nightstand led to her collapsing off the bed, resting a sweaty forehead on the ground while trying to regain balance.

The figure at the door moved, now sitting by the staircase, waiting. Sharon already understood what the figure wanted without having to say a word.

She crawled on all fours, having to pause at the doorway as the voices downstairs became louder, a new fuzzy voice entered the fray, familiar and friendly.

"Brenda, come on now, you know you don't want to do this."

A clear voice cut through the conversation. "Ronnie, the crossbow." Sharon turned her head, her eyes landed on the crossbow only a few inches away. "You need to grab it. It's not a gun, it will be okay."

Something in her head felt thankful that Andy had reloaded the bolt, though she couldn't get any solid thoughts on the matter.

Sharon reached for the object, the sound of the wood dragging against the floor muffled by the shouting and thunder. She held it close, like she would a teddy bear.

The figure beckoned her away from the doorway and closer to the stairs, pointing at an older woman with her back to them. The figure urged her to use the crossbow with only a look, her dark brown eyes telling Sharon what to do.

She did as the figure commanded, getting a better look at Brenda as she struggled with something. Beyond her Lee stood at the base of the staircase, looking at her only briefly.

Then she leaned the handle of the bow on her chest, unable to keep her aim steady as it was hard enough for her to lift her arms. The object added a weight weighed her down like sandbags, wet sandbags.

The gunshot rang louder than the thunder as Brenda reflexively jerked her arm away from the pain, releasing Katjaa from her grip and dropping the gun in the process.

Lee hesitated, grabbing the gun as it tumbled down that stairs and aiming, making sure Brenda wont come back.

The figure disappeared with a smile at the flash of lightning, being replace by Lee and Katjaa both with concerned faces.

"Oh my god..." Katjaa caught her as she nearly collapsed, a hand resting on Sharon's face. "Sharon! What did he..." She brushed a thumb against a bruise along her cheek.

"We got to get her out of here..." Lee whispered. "Sharon, hey- are you there?"

She looked up at her name, unable to keep her eyes steady for eye contact.

"I got her." Lee spoke, taking over and lifting Sharon with ease, managing only to carry her to the last step until someone started shouting outside.

"I said don't move, asshole!"

"Oh my god, Lee just put her down, we have to help Kenny!"

Lee hesitated, though as Katjaa burst out the door Lee had to take action.

"I'm sorry, I'll be back for you, I promise." Lee spoke, not looking back as he left her.

Sharon felt the world focus, only slightly as she still struggled with finite movements. The archway at her back helped provide some semblance of stability, using it to stand.

She surveyed where she was, noticing the figure from before sitting at the table, her head down. The meat didn't look as appetizing from before.

As the figure asked her to do, Sharon wandered around the table, finding the returned basket that once held peace offerings and using it to collect objects from the table. A multi-tool, an old cellphone, a screwdriver...

She moved almost robotically, though with an uneasy sway, almost as if something controlled her.

As Sharon reached the archway yet again the weight of the basket pulled her down, the same weight on her body as when she woke up.

She dropped it, feeling stable enough to stand in the middle of the entryway, gazing around the room with no clear intention. Eyes drifting, she caught a glimpse of the umbrella stand, the familiar sight of a wooden cane protruding out of it.

The task of pulling the heavy wood out of the umbrella holder with no free hands to keep her steady on the wall proved more difficult than it had to be.

At the sound and vibration of the screen door slamming open Sharon toppled to the ground, cane in hand.

"What the fuck?"

Travis kept his distance, watching as the body in front of him moved, waiting for her to make a noise or movement, a sign that she is alive.

Brown eyes met hazel. Sharon stared up at the figure and she hoped it was Lisa again.

"What-what happened to you?"

Sharon looked away, attempting to using her new cane to stand.

Travis whispered some choice swears as he helped Sharon off of the floor, keeping his hands up as she shook, attempting to let her walk on her own.

He groaned, ditching that plan. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and pulled her arm around his shoulders in a successful support carry.

Sighing in frustration, he allowed Sharon to turn them around, reaching for the basket she had left on the ground, struggling to hold the basket and use the cane with the same hand.

Ben was a welcome sight as he skidded to a halt at the doorstep, startled to see Sharon in her current state.

"Take her fuckin' basket." Travis huffed.

Ben timidly took it from her, walking down the steps directly in front of the two in case one of them slips on the steps.

The rain and drugs muffled the fight for Sharon, though she knew Andy was the one on the ground.

Some eyes shifted from Lee as he got off of Andy to stare at the trio. Andy followed their gaze and sat up, enraged at the sight, not at Sharon but at his father's cane in her hand.

Sharon looked up, one clear thought ran through her mind: run.

He stood, shoving Lee to the ground with one good shove and stomping toward the three.

"That's my father's cane!" Andy shouted.

Three quickly became two as Ben ran in fear, Travis desperately tried to back away but Sharon's feet couldn't find balance.

"Whoa, whoa-whoa!" Travis wide eyed pulled Sharon, stumbling back.

"I fucking TOLD YOU-" Andy shouted, reaching out. "-NOT TO-" He grabbed Sharon by her shirt, shoving Travis out of the picture. "-LEAVE-" He recoiled his fist, despite the drugs that numbed every feeling, that still hurt. "-THE-" Her head lolled back. "-ROOM-FUCK-"

They collapsed, Andy rolled away as Lee pulled him to the ground giving a similar treatment, Sharon fell on top of Travis limp and breathing heavy.

The two relaxed for a quick moment, taking in the fear that burned in both of them, the cold that nipped at their fingertips, the throbbing pain in Sharon's face and gut.

"Holy shit." Kenny gasped, limping over as Travis started to sit up. "Sharon, you okay?"

Travis shook his head, helping Sharon back in to the same walking position as before.

"What the fuck, is she-?"

"She was like this when I got in the house, I don't know what they did."

Kenny looked to Travis, his glare that Travis had been accustomed to now gone. "Shit..." He sighed. "Let's just go."

As the three returned to the rest of the group, eyeing Ben, Duck ran up to Sharon and hugged her.

She hissed as Duck directly pushed on her gunshot wound. He let go quick.

"Is that... all ya got, Lee?" Andrew panted from behind them, his speech slurred. "You ain't shit!"

Ben tried to apologize, Travis hushed him before he could get a word out.

Everyone shivered as he stood, this time he didn't pursue. "As soon as Danny and momma' get out here, you're- you're all fucked!"

Sharon turned, seeing a broken man, a man who just lost everything. He deserves this.

"What the FUCK did you do?!"

He has nothing left, not even his fathers cane.

"They're getting in!"

The constant shouting must have lured the walkers, arriving to the fence and quickly knocking it down as they tried to climb over it.

Lee ran to the group. "Let's go." Lee spoke, throwing the gates open. "Let's go!"

 

 

 

 

 

When the farm was out of sight, when they reached a point in the road where the farm is no longer visible, they took a break.

"Sharon..?"

She lifted her head, Carley stood in front of her with Lee at her side. "Can you hear me?"

Travis shook his head, stretching his shoulders as Sharon stood on her own. "What did they give her? Morphine?"

Lee looked grim. "Actually... they did have some upstairs."

"Oh..."

"Katjaa said... she said they were going to..." Lee sighed. "Do to her what they did to Mark."

"Are you kidding me?" Travis nearly shouted.

Kenny caught up, hearing what Lee had said as he approached. He clutched his side as he neared Sharon, painfully kneeling to look her in the eyes.

"Sharon, Jesus Christ, are you okay?"

After a moment of silence she slurred something, no one could make out a word.

She tried again. "Heavy..."

Sharon looked around, eyeing the people around her. Lilly covered in her own dad's blood, Travis dead-eyed staring at the ground, Lee talking to Clementine in a gentle voice, Carley facing away from the group with her arms crossed, Duck and Katjaa holding on to one another as if Brenda still stood in front of them, and Kenny staring at Travis.

Kenny looked away, then back. "Travis, right?"

"What." Travis scowled, not bothering to look up.

"I just..." He hesitated. "What you did for me in the meat locker, what Lee wouldn't do, I won't forget that." Travis looked up. "But that doesn't mean I trust you with her."

Travis rolled his eyes. "Well, thanks for that, asshole."

Sharon cleared her throat, the two looked at her surprised. 

"Shut up."

She walked away, slowly, following a figure in the distance.

 

 

 

 

 

" _I'll see you later, Ronnie..._ "

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding the tags as I go along, because of the uh... 'Andy part' I'm adding abuse to it, should have last chapter really. Let me know if there is a better tag for it, I just don't want people reading this and get upset.


	8. It's Not Stealing If You Need it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Sorry for reposting, something went wrong when uploading this chapter. 
> 
> I don't know the effects of morphine, apologies if this isn't correct. I didn't have a lot of time to revise so apologies if I make any mistakes!

Along the path the group had taken multiple breaks for both Kenny and Sharon, though everyone felt thankful for the occasional stop, aside from Lilly. 

Lilly stayed at the front ready to leave at any moment, refusing to talk to anybody unless it was about a walker or a break.

During the first break Ben had realized he was still carrying the basket Sharon had, confused as to why she had it in the first place. 

He looked through the contents. A multi-tool, some kind of video camera, an old cellphone with a cracked screen, a few odds and ends.

"That's all from the table." Was her only response, her voice slurred and low.

Still confused Ben approached Travis.

"When they took us to the meat freezer they took our stuff." Travis explained, moving items aside and holding up the phone with the cracked screen. He quickly pocketed it.

Before Ben could ask why he still has his phone when it's useless now, Lilly called out to the group. 

"We have to keep walking."

After another break Kenny caught up with Sharon, for a moment only keeping pace with her without a word.

She looked to him, the glaze over her eyes mostly gone.

"How's the bullet hole doin', kid?" He asked, not knowing if he was going to get a response.

"I should be asking you." She tried to smile but her face fell flat, felt numb. "I-I'm. . . I'm fine." She said, although she felt like she had been hit by a truck, a truck that continued to hit her as the drugs wore off.

"Mine hurts like hell." He groaned, wincing as he miss-stepped, Sharon stopped walking. "Shit-" He leaned on his knees, panting as his pain got worse. "I don't know how you can walk around like this."

Drugs, mostly. "Do you want the cane?" She offered, only managing to lift the cane a few inches in the air before having to use it again.

He laughed, stopping as it only hurt his bullet wound more. Katjaa neared, worried as Kenny panted.

"I'll be fine, just- not as young as I used to be." He smiled at Duck, looking past him to see Lee approaching. "Girls, Duck, go on ahead and give me and Lee a second."

They did as they were told and slowly walked away, being mindful of Sharon's slow pace. "How are you doing?" Kat asked, looking down at young woman's stomach. 

Sharon had bled through the bandages long ago, she couldn't pinpoint when that had happened. She looked down to the blood that pooled around her shirt, some droplets on her chest told her that at some point she had a bloody nose.

"You've been moving around so much, and what happened in the house. . ." Katjaa rested a hand on Sharon's back, lightly as to not put her off balance. "Be honest with me, Sharon." She said, as motherly as possible. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay." She said quickly. "I just. . ." Just. . . what? She still had trouble processing her thoughts, not truly knowing what to tell her.

She had so many things she wanted say. "I want to be alone." "I want to sleep in your room tonight." "I'm not okay." "I ate Mark." "They were going to eat me next." "I'm in so much pain." "Do you know what it feels like to be drugged against your will?"

It took every once of strength she had left not to cry out and tell the truth. She had to stop walking.

"I understand." Katjaa rubbed her back. "If you need to talk about it later, please, don't hesitate to come talk to me." Katjaa let go and turned, waiting for Kenny to catch up.

Sharon continued walking, she felt thankful that Katjaa dropped the subject, though she didn't enjoy being alone again.

"Hey, um. . ."

Sharon turned her head as Ben and Travis caught up to her, they walked together. The boys looked nervous and a little scared.

"Sharon. . ." Her name sounded foreign in Ben's mouth. 

"Ben. . ." Sharon recalled their names. She tried to think back to how or when she learnt their names, it all felt like years ago.

He nodded, holding himself as he tried to put words together. "So. . . how's your stomach?"

Her eye twitched. Her reply was a shrug.

Ben nudged Travis, he side eyed Ben and nearly elbowed him back. "I never got to say sorry. . . for, y'know. . . getting you shot." Travis crossed his arms. "I just- I couldn't stand to see Mr. Parker like that, y'know? He was the only one who. . ."

Sharon paused, trying to think of the right words to say.

Ben noticed the silence. "Hey, um. . . do you think we'll be able to stay in the group?"

Travis quickly elbowed him.

"You'll have to ask Lilly or Lee." Sharon shrugged. "You guys seem alright to me."

"Yeah, if you ask Lilly she'd say to shoot me." Travis looked away. " _Or smash my head in with a salt-lick. . ._ "

Ben and Sharon shared a look.

"Travis?" Sharon stopped walking, Travis and Ben followed her lead. "What. . . what happened, in the meat locker?"

"I'm not proud of what I did. . ." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Larry was having a heart attack or something- I don't know." He looked away. "We were all trapped inside, if he turned there would be no way we would be able to take him out. . ."

Ben stared wide eyed, watching as Sharon placed a kind and supportive hand on Travis's shoulder. "It's okay, you don't have to keep going if you don't want to."

"No, I-" He blinked away tears. "Fuck- I saw him breathing. I was holding Lilly back as Kenny dropped that salt-lick on his head. He was alive, I was so freaked out I didn't know what to do. I thought I was in the right. I thought I was doing the right thing."

Sharon opened her mouth.

"Shit. . ." Ben backed away, wringing his hands. "She'll kick us out, we'll be on our own. . ."

Sharon squinted at Ben. "Lilly isn't the boss." She sighed. "She can make a lot of the shots, but Kenny will vouch for you, _I_ will vouch for you." 

Travis pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "It's whatever, just forget I said anything."

"Travis. . ." Sharon dropped her hand.

"Hey dad, what's that noise?"

Everyone turned.

 

"Oh god, not more strangers. . ."

 

Sharon neared the front of the group, peering through the bushes that Kenny and Lee looked through, Travis tried to pull her away but she stood planted in the spot.

Headlights in the fog, running engine, doors wide open. A station wagon parked on the dirt road.

"What do you see?" Kenny asked, looking to Lee.

From this spot no one could read the licence plate but Sharon knew it like the back of her hand, she knows that the car veers left if you don't hold on to it, she knows the last number wheel on the mileage counter is broken, the duct tape on the back seat, the clean ash tray, the dent on the left side of the hood.

_"I see my dads car."_

"What?" Kenny looked behind him, eyes wide as Sharon's. "What do you mean?"

She ignored their whispers and walked away, promptly slapping Kenny's hand as he tried to pull her away.

"Goddamnit- Sharon, stop!"

Kenny finally stopped her, only a few feet away from the car as he gripped on to her forearm.

Lee ran up, looking around the area and inside the vehicle, the engine shut off and he came out with the keys.

"It's my dad's car!" Sharon called, the group gathered behind her.

"How can you be so sure?" Kenny asked, ignoring the unfamiliar angered look she gave him. "I don't wanna doubt you, but with what just happened back there-"

"I can tell you the licence plate number."

"It's _right_ there."

"Lee." Sharon looked up, meeting Lee's dark eyes. "The odometer, the last digit is stuck in between seven and eight, right?"

"Oh, c'mon." Kenny rolled his eyes. "That don't mean-"

"It is. . ." Lee checked, looking at the key ring in his hands. "And uh. . . that's not all."

Kenny reached out, squinting in the low light to make out what Lee wanted him to see on the key-ring. He flipped the little red plastic picture frame and spotted it..

"That's-"

Sharon stared at herself, comparing the woman in the photo to herself, chubby and happy. Her family, smiling, happy.

"Oh shit. . ." Kenny handed her the key-ring, watching as she looked over the vehicle. "Sharon, you think they're-"

"No." Sharon didn't want him to finish his sentence, she sat in the passengers seat and looked around, her eyes landing on the dirty ash-tray. 

"Oh crap!" Kenny cupped his hands around his eyes, peering in to the back window. "Kat, you gotta see this!"

Katjaa emerged from the group and jogged to his side, staring inside. "This food could save all of us." She exclaimed as everyone crowded around them.

"Not ALL of us." Lilly muttered, switching her glare from Kenny to Travis.

Ben took a step back, wringing his hands together. "I-I'm sorry, but, we don't know if these people are dead. . ." He glances toward Sharon. "Or- or gone."

"If they come back then we're just the monsters who ruined her families lives."

Sharon shuffled over, shooing Kenny away as she unlocked the trunk, opening it wide for everyone to see. Boxes filled the inside from top to bottom, hastily shoved around and filled with food.

She stared at the empty bottles shoved to the side.

Everyone argued, even Clementine got involved saying that they shouldn't take what's inside.

"Kenny, we're talking about Sharon's family." Carley called out, Sharon snapped out of her daze at her name being called. "Sharon, what do you think?"

"Don't put that on her, she can hardly speak for fuck-sake." Kenny sighed, turning to her in worry. "I'm sorry, but. . . if they don't come back then this food will be wasted."

She nodded. "I don't think they were here." She fumbled with the key-ring, taking the little picture frame off and tossing the keys to the front. "My parents promised me when I was six that they would never smoke or drink again, there are ashes in the ash tray and beer bottles in the back. I won't explain how much that means to us, but they would never fall back in to those habits."

Lee nodded. "There. . . there was a sobriety coin with the keys. . ." He hesitated. "Thirteen years."

Lilly crossed her arms. "Family or not, this is still _someone's_ food!" 

"What if it isn't abandoned!" Clementine called out. "What if it is someone's. . ."

The group fell silent, Sharon looked through the boxes and found a little red jacket, it could fit Duck.

"You're right." Lee said, stepping back to Clementine's side, away from the car. "We shouldn't take this."

"What?!" Kenny pushed himself away from the car, hand clenched on his bloody side. "Did you get some meal back there the rest of us missed out on? We HAVE to take this stuff."

Lee and Kenny exchanged a look, both at different ends of the argument. 

Kenny shook his head. "The rest of us are takin' this stuff."

Lilly, Lee, Clementine, and Travis stood far from the car, watching as everyone pilfered through the goods.

Pocketing the little picture frame, Sharon backed away from the car, picking up the red jacket and looked to the kids.

Duck has a winter coat, he wears it on cold days but not often. Clementine? She has nothing but the soaking wet dress she's wearing now. She asked for a jacket a long time ago, but no one was able to find one her size.

"Clem." Sharon debated kneeling, her stomach hurt too much to try. "I know you don't want anything from the car, but this jacket was my brothers. I want you to have it."

She shook her head.

"It's only going to get colder out, Clem. Please, I want you to have this."

"It's not mine."

"It's not theirs." Sharon sighed. "It's okay, I can put it back."

"Are you sure?" Lee asked Clementine. "I won't be mad if you take it."

Clem hesitated. Sharon stood straight and turned around, pausing when she felt a tug on her pants. Sharon would have smiled, but instead handed the small girl the jacket with a numb expression.

"Ben, what the fuck?" Travis stomped away, not hearing Clem call out his swear.

Ben froze to the spot, shivering as Travis approached him.

"You are doing exactly what the bandits did to us." He glowered.

"Travis we're not- I-I mean, that's-"

"God- y'know what? Just shut up, don't know why I even said anything."

Lee, Ben, and Sharon stood in silence, swapping glances and wide eyed stares.

Lee broke the silence. "We should go."

 

 

 

 

 

The Inn is a welcome sight, untouched and secure, not even a walker on the road.

They didn't stand by to cherish the moment, following Lilly to her room to drop off the supplies all the while being glowered at by Lilly. Even Sharon held a box, one small enough for her to carry with one arm.

"Sharon." Lilly squinted her eyes, Sharon stopped in her place as she tried to leave the room, her cane already outside the door. "Lee and I need to talk to you, alone."

Sharon stepped out of the way, allowing the last boxes to be set down. Lee whispered something to Clementine and shut the door behind him, he leaned on the wall and stared at the ground.

Sharon didn't say anything, staring at the boxes as her stomach turned.

"Those boys. . ." Lee muttered. "Ben and Travis, do you trust them?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, I don't think Travis means any harm but-"

Lilly scoffed. "Yeah right."

"Lilly. . ." Lee warned her, looking back to Sharon. "You. . . heard what happened in the meat locker, right?"

She nodded. "Travis told me. He regrets doing it, he panicked."

"So why should we trust them?" Lilly stood, Sharon put her hands up. "Two panicked teens, one who got you shot, one who _killed my dad!?_ "

"Lilly!" Lee stepped in between the women, stopping Lilly from nearly attacking Sharon. "That's enough."

Sharon thought Lilly was going to continue yelling as she usually does, but the piercing eyes and frown wasn't one of anger but of desperation. Her glossy eyes looked like she was begging Sharon to tell her something- _ANYTHING_ she wants to hear, as she was seconds away from crying.

"I'm sorry." Sharon dropped her hands.

Lilly sat on the bed again, hands running through her hair. Lee stepped back.

"We should give them a chance." Lee said, crossing his arms.

"Fine." Lilly glared at them, a familiar look to Lee and Sharon. "Just. . . get out."

"I. . ." Sharon stayed, holding both hands on her cane as the world around her spun, she stabled herself on the wall.

"You're not planning on leaving again, are you?" Lee crossed his arms. Usually when he asks he smiles, now the bags under his eyes and blood on his shirt made smiles feel foreign.

Sharon hesitated, adjusting her stance on the wall as the room seemed to shrink and shift around her. The feeling of eyes on her made her uncomfortable in her own skin.

Not now.

"Never mind."

Instinct told her to run out that door and slam it behind her. Lee nodded and she took it as permission to leave, quickly opening the door.

Clementine held her breath and backed away from the door.

"Do you need help to your room?" Lee asked, nearing the doorway.

"I'm fine." Sharon moved, closing the door before he could look out.

Clementine looked up with wide eyes as Sharon approached, looking straight ahead as the pale woman walked past.

"Um. . ." Sharon stopped walking. "You're not going to tell Lee. . . are you?" Clem asked, wringing her hands together.

She only shrugged.

At the base of the stairs Sharon stopped, staring up at the looming steps to her room. Her feet dragged as she climbed, the aching in her gut stopping her feet at every step.

"Hey." 

Travis flinched as his hand was swatted away, the spot on Sharon's shoulder stung as if he hit her.

"Jesus-" Travis stopped himself, dropping his hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. . . y'know. . ."

She looked away, taking another painfully slow step up.

Ben replaced Travis's spot next to her as he sped up the stairs, waiting for them at the top.

"So- uh, you talked Lilly?" Ben asked. "About. . . us?"

"Us?" Sharon squinted, looking to him then to Travis only ten steps away. "Oh, yeah." 

Ben stared at her, waiting her her to say more.

Another step.

"Um. . ." He hesitated. "What did she say?"

"You can stay for now."

"For now." Travis huffed. "So, what, are we leaving in the morning or-"

"No." Sharon took the last step, staring at Travis directly. "You aren't leaving unless you want to."

It wasn't until Sharon had reached her door that Ben and Travis realized: they don't have a room. 

Sharon had just stepped inside her room when the boys rounded the corner and stopped the door.

"Sorry, I know you probably just want to sleep." Travis said. "Just one more thing."

"Where are we going to sleep?" Ben finished.

Sharon took a deep breath, if this were any other day she would have easily came up with a solution and would get involved. Her mind felt too cloudy to come up with anything.

She faced the two, they shifted on their feet and awaited her response.

"Well. . ." 

She gazed beyond her doorway and took count of the rooms, hesitating when she thought about the rooms below the deck. The only furnished rooms they had that didn't have someone already living in it would have to be Larry's and Mark's old room. It didn't feel right to house someone in those rooms so quickly.

Every unused room had been stripped of all furniture aside from the top floors, it was too hard to get the furniture out so the couches and tables stay.

Without a word Sharon brushed past them, staring at the door past Carley's room. Everyone avoided that room, Mark and Sharon had tried to ask why Lee and Carley were more than hesitant to take out the furniture but were given mumbled answers.

Peering inside there seemed to be a faded bloodstain leading from the door to the bathroom, pooling around on the tiled floor. The two twin beds and anything attached to the walls remained, leaving a perfect room for Ben and Travis.

"The deck looks like it's falling apart over here." Travis said. "Are you sure this is safe?"

Ben stood in the doorway, eyeing the floor. "And these stains, what happened in here?"

Sharon could only shrug and walk away, unable to slur a goodnight. 

"Wait." Travis stopped her at her door again, oblivious to her irritated look. "Are. . . are you going to be okay?"

Sharon almost wanted to slam the door on him, the shame from letting her temper get to this point stopped her from doing so.

"Alone, I mean. Your face is pretty busted up, and your stomach-"

Sharon shut the door, staring at the carpet until she could hear Travis walk away. She turned away but her hand grabbed the doorknob, almost against her will she peered out, watching the last trace of Travis disappear behind his door felt unbearable. 

What she felt then felt nothing compared to being completely alone in her room, wishing someone would barge in and stop the room from spinning, someone to strike up a conversation and help her forget the sharp pain in her stomach and aching pain on her face. 

Sharon took as long as it took her to get to the bathroom to gain the bravery to look in the mirror. Hyping herself up to face herself in the mornings dulled to to being surprised at her reflection. The heavy bags under her eyes and sunken cheeks are now familiar, the bruises on her face and slightly swollen left eye are new. Sharon tried to look closer to find the needle mark on her neck but she couldn't focus, instead she stared in to her hazel eyes and choppy brown hair and wished that when she blinked her eyes would stop working.

It was only when her feet ached too long in the spot did she use the bathroom and leave. She wished to plop on the bed and call it a night but instead had to carefully bend until her arms reached the bed, exhaling sharp once her back made contact with the bed.

Sharon tried rolling on to her side, the pain stopped her from continuing. Along with the room spinning and the pain easing back, she knew the drugs are wearing off. She settled with laying on her back.

In a desperate attempt to distract herself from the pain she thought about the farm, wondering if she can get back there and take some things they left behind, like Andy's crossbow, possibly the drugs if she can stomach the thought, and their tools.

The only way to go back there is to sneak off, no way would Lilly or Kenny allow her to leave or to go _back there._ She hummed, the thought of sneaking out had crossed her mind many times before this, if she leaves now she could get supplies from the farm. It would be easy to get past the walkers knowing she can use the scent to get past.

Then she thought of Ben and Travis, the two new additions in exchange for Larry and Mark, and possibly herself. 

Her mind wandered, the cloud in her mind causing her thoughts to spiral along with the room. 

The last coherent thought she had was of Lisa, seeing her at the dairy then on the path almost made her head spin more just thinking of it. Sharon knows that Lisa couldn't possibly have been there but when everything else was dark and she was the only light, it made sense to do what she said. She could imagine Lisa shooting Brenda with the crossbow, but grabbing it herself and pulling the trigger seemed like an impossible task morally and physically.

Sharon only hopes the next time she see's Lisa won't be from a hallucination.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of taking a short hiatus, not entirely sure when or how long but if I suddenly ghost AO3 for a month or two then there's your answer!
> 
> I am open to suggestions!


	9. Goodbye, She Quietly Says

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being alone sucks.

It had only been a week since the Dairy and Sharon had a plan written out.

It was easy to convince Lilly to let Ben and Travis take turns on watch. Missing Larry and Mark left Lilly and Carley to bake in the sun all day while Kenny and Lee made more frequent walks to Macon. With the adults too exhausted to hold a rifle and watch the horizon for trouble it would be easier for them to let Ben and Travis take over a few shifts, even more easier when Sharon refuses to hold a gun.

Training her replacements without outright saying she's going leave was easy for her, a simple: "We can't afford to let someone fall asleep on watch, the boys should be up there." Though the occasional comment about her leaving from Lee or Kenny kept her on her toes about being so eager.

Annoyingly it took more convincing to Kenny that she can handle going outside the gates to clear the dead than to convince him to let to most nervous boy in the motel to hold a rifle, doesn't mean he didn't argue against it.

Once Kenny allowed her outside the walls she grabbed a clean dark blue raincoat and smeared it with walker guts, hiding it from sight just outside the wall. No one questioned why she was coughing from the smell or why her gloved hands had more black blood on it than usual. "Just another walker."

Once a week had passed from the Dairy, Lilly put Ben and Travis to the test. Let them take night watch, it's easy when the two switch out around midnight, there is not much for them to do but listen and pretend you can see in the dark. All it would take is some sneaking and maybe convincing if Ben catches her, then she grabs her dirty coat and leaves.

Thinking over her plan again, she turned to her ever-changing reflection. Carley apologized for not being a good stylist but Sharon assured her that what could pass as a pixie cut is better than the uneven chunks, although the new haircut made her bruises easier to see. The bruises from Andy's fists had faded almost completely leaving a few random dark spots on her face, she didn't even want to look at the bruising on her body.

With her new haircut, everything she owns packed in her bag, quadruple checking her plan in her notebook, wearing jeans, and being freshly sponge-bathed she felt ready to leave. 

She only wished she could say goodbye. 

She tried to part ways with everyone without actually saying goodbye while still being cautious. Usually it was through apologies or promises that she'll improve.

The only one who Sharon is sure caught on is Katjaa, since the Dairy she had been nearly attached to the young woman, constantly telling Sharon that she is appreciated by everyone at the inn, checking her well-being more frequently than normal, even washing Sharon's clothes without being asked to. It all felt like Katjaa was asking Sharon to stay the same way she was saying goodbye.

Katjaa may have even asked the kids to talk to her more, though that could have just been their reaction to seeing Sharon on the walk back from the dairy, hurt and unable to talk back.

If the thought of Lisa out there alone and still looking for her didn't paralyze her in fear and guilt every night Sharon could see herself staying. If things were different she would stay. If she didn't see Lisa calling her 'Ronnie' in her dreams then she could wait just a little while longer.

Sharon moved the contents of her backpack one more time, taking one more glimpse of the smiling faces on her family photo. Sharon holing little Lizzy in her arms, Adam proudly displaying his soccer uniform, mom and dad behind them pulling everyone close. 

Her mind led her to remember the last text dad sent her, "We are taking Lizzy and Adam somewhere safe. We love you." Is what she could read from memory, the phone now lost back in someone's house that burned down long ago. She wished he had added where he was going or at least if they still had possession of their car and using the spare keys with the little red picture frame Sharon held in her hands.

Her survival gear consisted of a pack of clothes with her pajama pants, a flashlight, a small can of peaches that was supposed to be lunch a few days ago, a white handkerchief, a cane with an old sock tied at the bottom, and a screwdriver. She hopes by the time the sun is out she will have enough food to last her the week-or-so long walk to Savannah.

At the sensation of burning pain from her abdomen Sharon decided now is a good time to stop thinking about the plan and start going through with it.

Sharon wished she could walk without the cane, gripping her wound as she tried to sneak down the stairs. Any a tap of her cane of creaking from the stairs were cancelled out by the awning shaking, though still she feared anyone would be able to hear her through the wind. 

Sticking close to the walls she turned back, noting the darkness surrounding the inn, making everything nearly impossible to see, what she could see is the slight shine on the dumpster ahead.

Sharon reached her hand out, nearly tripping from her spot as her hand continued, making contact with the gate a lot later than she thought. She chalked it up to being too dark out to get proper bearings and found the opening.

The gate is already open.

If the clouds hadn't parted Sharon would have tried to think about it, feeling too exposed in the moonlight she quickly rushed through the gap and bumped headfirst in to her answer.

The dark figure fell back and Sharon came tumbling down with it, both grunting as they landed on the concrete pavement. Sharon kneeled, holding the figure down with her left hand and pulling out her screwdriver, ignoring the quiet pleas as she tried to plunge the weapon through his eye. She had only realized the figure isn't a walker until she looked closer, seeing the head planted to the ground and hands desperately trying to push Sharon away.

Sharon stopped pushing down the weapon but held it still as the blood stopped rushing in her ears, the quiet whisper turning to a shaky voice all too familiar.

_"Sharon, it's me! It's Ben!"_

Ben didn't move aside from the constant shaking, afraid any more movement would set Sharon off and she would attack again. He wondered if she had gone crazy as she sat above him silent, squinting in the darkness and hovering the screwdriver over his face.

"Oh." Sharon almost dropped the screwdriver, instead yanking her arms free of Ben's grip and tipped back, falling on her bottom. "Oh sh-Ben, what- are you okay?" If she wasn't directly blocking the moon from Ben's view he may have seen her red face, and she would have seen his. 

Ben sighed in relief and stood up, looking at the forest, waiting for something to stumble out. Sharon whispered apologies brought his attention back.

_"What are you even doing out here?"_ He whispered, offering his hand she struggled to stand.

She accepted and used her cane to push most of her weight on, appreciating the support. "I-I. . ." She turned to the road and Ben followed her gaze, confused. _"I'm leaving."_

"You're what?"

Sharon shushed him, looking back at the gates as more clouds cleared. _"I've been planning this for awhile, okay? Before. . ."_ She gripped her stomach, the fall causing more pain to ripple through her. 

Ben held his arm, not entirely sure what to do with himself. "Oh. . ." He let go of his arm and scratched his head, returning his arm once he was finished. "Not even a goodbye?"

For a moment Sharon's heart hurt more than the bullet wound. "I- _I would have, but. . . if I did then I wouldn't be able to go. It's nothing personal I just. . . it has to be this way."_

"Oh. . ."

The two returned to silence, both guilty and too afraid to say anything else. Until Sharon remembered where they were.

"Why. . . _Why are you here?_ " 

Ben flinched, sputtering the beginnings of words, unable to properly start a sentence. He nearly yelped as he felt a soft hand on his shoulder, unable to control his breathing until he followed the arm to Sharon. She didn't say anything, but he knew she was only trying to comfort him.

After a minute of silence Sharon spoke up. _"Ben, you can tell me. I won't be mad."_

Ben brought his hands to his face, biting his lips and trying to hold back his tears, not wanting to cry in front of her. Once Sharon made it clear that she wasn't going to leave or push him to speak before he was ready he cleared his throat, quickly wiping his eyes as he moved his hands away.

_"I was sneaking out supplies."_ Sharon let go. _"To the bandits."_

"You. . ." Sharon stepped away, nearly forgetting her cane to keep her balance. "WHAT."

_"I-I'm sorry, they said they have my friend, they said if I don't give them supplies they'll kill us!"_ Even whispering his voice cracked. " _Yesterday when I was getting Duck's Frisbee they ambushed me and it-it was the only way I could get away-"_

_"Ben."_

_"Y-you don't know what it's like at Save-Lots, they would torture us,_ they would hurt you, they-"

"BEN."

_"I'm sorry. . ."_

_"It's okay."_

_"No, it's not. I'm an idiot, I'm putting everyone at risk-"_

Sharon grabbed his shoulders again, momentarily using him for balance as her cane was lifted off the ground. Ben could do nothing but shut his eyes with his head hung, the pressure in his jaw causing his teeth to ache terribly.

_"Everything's going to be okay."_

_"You don't know that."_

_"Yes, I do."_ Sharon nearly shook him as she said this, trying to convince herself as well that everything will be okay. _"What are they asking for?"_

_"What?"_ He opened his eyes, looking away when his blue eyes met her hazel. _"U-um, some medicine at night and some food in the morning. They won't accept rations, they want full bottles and full cans."_

Sharon let go and tapped her cane on the pavement, biting her lip as her eyes darted across the ground. _"I'm going to go ahead with my plan and get supplies in the. . . city. . . when I come back you can give that to the bandits, okay?"_ Ben remained silent, Sharon waited until Ben showed signs that he understood to continue. _"Just go back inside. I didn't see you and you didn't see me."_

Ben turned away, head still hung as he nearly dragged his feet to the gate, stopping when his hand met the cold metal. He lifted his head. _"W-wait, Sharon?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What if-. . . what if you don't come back?"_

Sharon gripped her cane tighter. She knows that leaving the inn could be a death sentence if she isn't careful, even being inside the inn can mean death if the bandits decide to come back. _"Then you tell Lilly about the deal and you get the hell out of dodge."_

_"Dodge? I-_

_"Leave Macon. Kenny has been trying to get that motor home working since before I arrived, if he hears about the bandits then he knows being on the road is safer than sitting there waiting for them to show."_

Ben didn't respond, he slowly pulled the gate shut and disappeared from Sharon's view. 

Sharon didn't wait any longer, grabbing her smelly jacket from behind a tree and putting it on, wishing she had a face mask to filter some of the rotting blood from her nose. She adjusted the straps on her back and held her screwdriver in her free hand, carefully ambling through the uneven terrain with the cane leading her steps.

Weaving through the trees took longer than she had hoped, constantly checking her bearings and thinking back to when everyone had walked this path, remembering Clementine talking about her dad as they walked this path.

Then she remembered something else on the way back, on this dirt path, a car? She tried to remember but it felt hazy, spots were missing in her memory. She remembers Travis talking to her about the meat locker, then everyone was carrying a box back to the Inn. She stood in the empty clearing, something is missing from this spot but she couldn't put her finger on it, thinking about it made her feel guilty without truly knowing what she did, so she put it behind her and continued down the path.

 

 

 

 

 

The journey didn't take her too long, the trees soon parted and gave way to open fields of dry grass and roaming walkers. The dairy looked haunted in the pale moonlight, no candles lit in the window sills and the only sign of life being the occasional stranded walker.

Approaching the gates gave her chills, staring at the spot where Andy had gripped her shirt and hit her numb, where she saw Clementine ripped from her grip, where they saw Mark for the last time.

She made it this far, the time to turn back passed long ago. The only question is: Does she start in the house or the barn? She only held bad memories in the house but heard of horror stories staring in the barn. 

She walked through the barn doors first, staring at the opened corpse of Danny, his leg being pulled away from him by a bear trap. Sharon tried not to dwell on the fact that the bear trap looked too familiar and proceeded on, squinting inside the barn stalls as she passed, stopping at one full of discarded clothes.

She shrugged and looked through, the only item worth looking at is the pair of black boots just her size. When she was sure no walker held any interest in her she tore off the old pair of shoes and held in a sigh of relief, the boots fit her aching feet and while walking she no longer felt a gap between her toes. She felt a chill when she thought about who's clothes these must belong to.

Would her pajama pants be a part of this collection if she hadn't killed Brenda? Would Clementine's little yellow dress be in this pile?

Sharon took a relatively clean shirt and tossed it in her bag, deciding to ignore whatever may be beyond the second set of barn doors and walked out, shutting her eyes at the feeling of something wet squishing underneath her feet.

Being wary of the noise she could potentially make, Sharon used the railing and hugged her backpack to her chest, preparing to walk on all fours if it meant getting up the uneven stairs quicker. Thankfully she reached the top before succumbing to that. 

Out of her backpack she took out her flashlight, shutting the door behind her and turning on the bright light, scanning the area from the doorway. When nothing living or dead moved she tapped her cane loudly on the ground three times, she hoped the noise that followed was only a walker and not a remnant of the Saint John family.

The noise shuffled out of the kitchen and looked around, dead eyes scanning the area. Sharon slowly set the flashlight on the ground and neared the walker, flinching as it noticed her only once she started bringing down the screwdriver.

With a box of matches she found in the kitchen she lit a candle in every room and stored the flashlight, waiting until the room was searched before blowing out the candle. Though it helped her keep track of which rooms she searched her shadow would play tricks on her, casting a silhouette of a strange figure. 

With every turn of the head and creaking created more figures in the darkness, by the time Sharon reached the top of the stairs she thought the bodies of Brenda and Andy in the spare bedroom were figments of her imagination until she looked a little closer, blood stained the wall and the rifle Andy had lay on his lap.

She wanted to call this justice.

Instead she rifled through the drawers and checked the rifle for any more ammo, refusing to look through Andy's pockets. She dropped the rifle, knowing it would be useless on her even if it had ammo. She discarded all of the guns and wrapped their medicine in the shirt from the barn, giving it a test shake to make sure none of the cans or glass would clink together while she moved.

Feeling accomplished, Sharon stopped by the top of the steps and picked up the last of what she wanted, the crossbow. 

With the flashlight she tested the feel of it in her arms, finding the two arrows and experimenting with it. The cross hair had a small little glass bit inside, making it look like a scope, though when she put her eye up to the lens it appeared to have slight magnification on it, not a whole lot but enough to help her aim, messing with the dial on the side made it clear. The string felt a little tough to pull back, she managed to do it after a few attempts.

With the loaded crossbow in her hand and backpack full of supplies she turned, the weight of both the bag and the crossbow lifting with an inhale, reaching for anything to stop her sudden descent as her legs gave way.

The walkers just outside turned to face the banging Sharon, her backpack, the flashlight, and the crossbow caused from tumbling down the stairs simultaneously.

And for the first time in a long time Sharon swore.

"Shit."

The embarassment felt nothing compaired to the pain. Old bruises suddenly being covered up with new bruises and if the world wasn't spinning she would check to see if her bullet wound had opened up.

It took her until she heard the banging on the screen door that she knew she had to move, her body felt stiff as she tried to roll over, the pain in her side intensified at every movement, she moved her arm and pulled out the culprit: the flashlight. The lens had a small crack, not noticeable enough to spend time worrying about it. She spotted the screwdriver in the doorway to the bathroom, 

As she kneeled the walkers had broken down the door, she shoved the flashlight in her bag and struggled to stand, watching as the nearest walker descended down on her.

Sharon planted her boot on his chest and shoved him back, gaining enough time to crawl and grab her screwdriver, though not enough time to sit back up.

The next walker smushed her faced in to the back of Sharon's jacket, uninterested in the smell of it's own kind. As it looked for fresh meat Sharon rolled and swiped the screwdriver, the corpse fell limp on top of her.

The walker that was booted away crawled on the dead one and within a few seconds two bodies lay on top of her.

Sharon panted, twisting the screwdriver in it's slippery grip as another approached, she could hardly move her arms as the next walker opened his mouth and bit down.

With what little time she had she moved the walkers that were on top of her, causing the pile to shift and the walker above to bite rotten flesh. With a few attempts she rolled the pile on to the live walker and readied her weapon one more time, this time standing up and dropping the new walker to the ground.

With little strength she gathered her belongings, shoving the crossbow in the backpack hoping it would stay, and pushed herself off the ground with a shaky grip on the cane. 

Once Sharon stood she feared she would have to fight the few that funneled through the door, though as they entered they looked around for the source of the noise and ambled through. As one bloated walker neared her another one bumped in to the dining room table, knocking over a few cups. The noise was enough to lead the walkers away from her, more importantly away from the door.

She took the chance and limped away.

 

 

 

 

 

Once she reached the nearest walker-free clearing in the path Sharon fell to her knees, clutching her stomach. Her lungs burned as her heart struggled to maintain a slow rhythm, both felt agonizing combined with her stomach burning.

Her lungs only ached more as she took in full breaths of putrid air, the black ooze on her jacket felt as if it filled her lungs, drowning in the rotten innards.

Unable to bear it any longer she tore off the jacket, then her shirt, her jeans fell to the ground to join the pile.

She rested on the ground, hoping the bite of the cold night wind would stop her panicked breaths but the clean air did nothing, she couldn't think, nothing made sense.

Reaching for her bag Sharon pulled out her spare shirt and covered herself, feeling just as exposed as before as if the trees could see through her shirt. It wasn't until she grabbed hold of her pajama pants that she felt she could control her breathing again.

Sharon thought once she was fully dressed that she would feel right again, that when the waist band was tied she would be able to walk and leave this all behind. She feared she was going to pass out when her vision blurred so suddenly, she succumbed when she saw the tears dripping to the dirt below.

Curled up crying and cold she reached out for someone to help, her mom would show up with home made muffins, little brother Adam trying to cheer her up with a pep-talk, little sister Elizabeth crawling in to bed with her, dad thinking of the perfect joke to make her laugh, Lisa to just be here and tell her that everything will be okay.

Sharon could almost feel Lisa's warm body pressed up against hers but when she looked up no-one appeared, not even a figure in the shadows, the warmth disappeared leaving the harsh and bitter cold.

In between shallow breaths Sharon slipped on her jacket and shoved her face in her bag to muffle her sobs. 

"Where would I even go?"

When the outbreak started Sharon never had the time to worry about the future, she always had Lisa by her side and Lisa always had Sharon, they kept each other safe and feww of any doubt. 

When they had been separated Sharon worried about getting Lisa back, never worrying about how. Go to Savannah. Her only plan was to go to Savannah, not even knowing if Lisa made it there, she could have even went back to the burnt down home looking for Sharon.

What would she even do if she just stayed at the Motor Inn? Wait for Kenny to get fed up with Lilly and leave? Who knows if he even gets the RV working. What if the bandits come and do to them what Ben and Travis tried not to warn her about.

She stood alone at crossroads with the ability to pick either side, yet she didn't know what road she should take. 

 

 

 

 

 

The Motor Inn stood as a silhouette against the sky, the moon had gone and the sun had yet to rise. No birds chirped and the trees are still. If Sharon didn't know any better she'd think time had stopped.

She almost believed it until the gates opened, Travis squeezed himself through the enterance.

_"Sharon?"_

She avoided his eyes, she would have fidgeted but both of her hands were carrying something.

_"Ben told me you left, where did you go?"_

She didn't know what to say or if she should say anything. So many thoughts ran through her mind, she un-clenched her jaw but couldn't open it enough to say anything.

_"Hey- woah-woah- what's wrong?"_ Travis took a step closer, squinting in the darkness to see her dirty tear stained face and strange looking red bruises. "Jesus- you're hurt, what happened?"

Sharon didn't respond, the cane and screwdriver in her hands shook with a weak grip. She felt chills despite her jacket keeping her warm.

Travis huffed, tugging Sharon's arm. _"Okay, let's just get you to Katjaa-"_

"No." Sharon refused to move, eyes still glued to the ground. "They can't know."

_"Okay, let's get you to your room, fuck- let's just get you inside the gates."_

With another tug Sharon obliged, waiting as Travis quietly shut the gates and led Sharon up the stairs, grabbing her heavy backpack from her arms so she could ascended weight free. This moment felt familiar to Travis, him trying to talk to Sharon while she struggled to walk up the stairs, this time however he stayed by her side.

"Okay, I'll stay silent for now but you owe me an explanation." Travis said, setting the bag down by Sharon's bed. "I-I mean, after you sleep."

He didn't wait for her to reply, staring at the obvious crossbow that protruded from Sharon's bag and the blood stains on her skin. He wanted to say more. Instead he shut the door and gripped the rifle in his hands tighter, clenching his jaw when Lilly stepped out of her room. He sighed and approached her once they made eye contact, nearly stomping down the steps.

"What the fuck were you doing up there?" Lilly squinted her eyes, snatching the rifle away from Travis's grip and immediately checking the chamber. "That was Sharon's room, you're supposed to be on watch." Though her voice was low Travis could feel how much she loathed talking to him.

"I know, I know-"

She checked the magazine and glanced at the ammo left. "Are you sure you know?" She clicked the magazine back and held the rifle with both hands. "Because if someone shows up in the middle of the night while you're up there screwing Sharon, we're _ALL_ screwed."

Travis dropped his shoulders. "Woah- wait, what?!" He shook his head. "Ben is the one with the crush on her, not me, besides she's like four years older than me!"

"And?"

"And?" He crossed his arms. "I'm seventeen, isn't that like. . . against the law?"

Lilly scoffed. "What do you care about obeying the law? You murdered my dad!"

Travis felt heat rise to his cheeks.

"I thought you would be more capable then Ben, but you can't even handle being on watch for a few hours!"

"She was sleep walking, okay?" Travis looked away. "She opened the gates and tried to leave, so I had to take her back up to her room."

Lilly stayed silent, from what Travis could see in the corner of his eye she didn't move. He wanted to go to bed yet he wanted to face her and yell, clenching his teeth harder to stop himself from moving.

Lilly sighed. "Just go to bed."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to describe a panic attack the best i could while Sharon was alone in the woods, I hope I did it justice and didn't make her look dumb.
> 
> And! This is the biggest chapter yet!
> 
> Happy (Belated) Halloween!


	10. A Rock and a Hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's quiet today

He felt like he was falling, every muscle in his body flinching slightly as he suddenly became aware of the soft sheets that surrounded him.

Travis opened his eyes, adjusting to the sight of Ben sihlouetted against the morning light as his bed is closest to the window. He sat only a few feet away staring at his lap.

Travis would think Ben is sleepwalking if he couldn't hear the distinct sound of him picking at his nails.

"Ben?"

Ben flinched, bringing his hands down and looking over at Travis with wide eyes.

"Dude, it's just me." Travis shook his head, sitting up and bringing the blankets over his shoulders. 

The two sat in silence as they both processed each other's presence, their eyes never met but they stared, taking in the moment knowing that they can breathe safe without the watchful eye of a masked person on them. A familiar action between the two.

"So." Ben broke the silence. "Did she come back?"

Travis nodded. "Do you know where she went? When she came back she wouldn't even talk to me."

"She said she was going to the city." Ben shrugged. "Was she hurt?"

He nodded again. "She had some weird bruises on her face, walked around as _fast_ as she did when she first came back from the dairy, and she smelled awful."

Ben furrowed his brows. "What?"

"Like walkers, she smelled like walkers."

"Oh. Oh!" Ben straightened his back. "Kenny said that they can use their smell to get past them."

"You sound excited about that." Travis narrowed his eyes. "And what do you mean their smell?"

"Like, their guts. . . "

He dropped his shoulders, pausing in the moment as he thought of all the times he's been surrounded, the close calls, the times he wished he wasn't noticed. "That works?"

"I guess?"

The two continued the silence, Travis stood to get dressed and Ben followed his actions.

"So, did she have any supplies on her?" Ben said, sitting down hard on the bed as he struggled to put is socks on.

Travis rolled his eyes. "I wasn't taking inventory on her."

"You said she was hurt, right?"

"Ben-"

"Can you take this more seriously?"

Travis pulled his shirt over his head, lazily flopping down on his bed. "Fine, what do you want to do? Go around telling everybody?"

"No not everyone." Bed said, sitting down slowly. "Lilly would probably kick us out for letting Sharon leave, or for not telling her first."

"All's left is Kenny, Katjaa, or Lee." Travis said to the ceiling.

Ben shrugged. "I don't know, maybe Kenny?"

"Fine, go tell Kenny."

"Wait, me?" Ben looked to Travis expecting an explanation. "I'm not doing this alone."

"Why not?" Travis sat up. "I don't want to be a part of this."

Ben squinted his eyes. "You became a part of this when you let her back in without telling anybody. . ." His face fell, eyes wide as he backtracked his own words. "You didn't tell anybody, right?"

"Ugh, yes, I didn't say anything, and that's only because you asked me to." Travis rested his head on his hand, squishing his face in the process. "Why can't you do it alone?"

Ben looked away. "You know why."

"No, I don't." Travis said plainly.

Ben looked back to his friend only to look away as soon as he made eye contact, he begun to wring his hands. "Because- because Kenny makes me really nervous and, well, I-I thought he'd want to talk to you more than me."

Travis sat up straight. "Yes, because helping him kill Larry makes us _good_ friends."

"Do you have any better ideas?'

Travis didn't skip a beat. "Yeah, we shut up and say nothing."

"And what if she's hurt?"

Travis stayed silent.

"What if she met the bandits out there?"

"Jesus, Ben." 

The two stared at each other the same way they did earlier. They held no eye contact, only acknowledging the other's presence, this time they were wide awake with a dismayed expression. 

They both thought back to their days of being held prisoner, seeing what the bandits would do to anyone who was unlucky enough to run in to them, remembering what it felt like to get tortured for looking at someone wrong.

Travis remembered over hearing a deal with a dairy nearby.

He knows the bandits had gotten to eat fresh meat but never recalled them talking about hunting for food.

"Fine." Travis muttered. "If you will shut up about this I'll go with you."

Ben smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah, so- what do we just knock on the door?" Travis fixed his posture. "It's still early, I don't want to wake up their kid."

"We can wait outside the door." Ben suggested, looking up to meet Travis's dumbfounded face. "What?"

Travis swallowed his comment, gripping his Letterman jacket. "Nothing, let's just get this over with."

 

 

Katjaa stepped out of the bathroom, solemnly staring at the sleeping figures under the sheets. She watched Kenny's chest rise and fall slowly and Duck following his movements.

Something is missing, someone is missing.

With a heavy sigh Katjaa walked around the bed, looking through the shades she noted that nothing looked out of the ordinary. Of course it wouldn't, she thought. Looking closer she spotted a shadow leaning just on the edge of the window.

She looked back to Kenny and Duck, watching them breath for a few more moments before opening the door.

Whatever conversation Travis and Ben were having died when the door opened, both pushing themselves away from the wall as she emerged.

"Oh, hey Katjaa." Ben nervously wrung his hands. "Is Kenny awake?"

"No, he's still sleeping." She looked between the two teens. "You two were on watch last night, correct?"

"Yeah, we want to talk to Kenny about. . ." Ben hesitated.

"Actually, I'd rather talk to Kat about this." Travis whispered through his teeth. "He would probably get pissed."

Katjaa looked away, hearing the words in her head before the two had a chance to say anything. Seeing her posture slump and eyes sweep the parking lot made Travis debate if he should tell her, then thought about Kenny's reaction and continued.

"So. . ."

Katjaa looked back up at them.

"Last night, when I was keeping watch. . ." Ben said. "Sharon left."

Katjaa crossed her arms, as if to hold on to herself.

"She said she was going to leave, but she came back."

"What?" She dropped her arms. "You mean- she is still here?"

"She came back last night during my shift. We were hoping you or Kenny would talk to her, or something. She doesn't want to talk to us."

Travis nodded. "She really didn't want us saying anything, but I think she got hurt while she was out there."

Katjaa took a breath, removing the shocked expression from her face. "Thank you for letting me know."

The teens expected Katjaa to return back inside, watching as she passed the door and continued to the stairs.

They looked to each other, both in silence as they processed what just happened.

"Travis, did she seem. . ."

Travis sighed. "I'm gonna lay down."

 

 

 

 

 

The light knock was followed with the door cracking open.

"Hey." Katjaa said. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, I'm right here."

Sharon set down the wet cloth she was using to cool her aching cheek bruises and locked eyes with with the older woman.

Katjaa stepped inside, as she had her back turned to close the door Sharon quickly adjusted the blanket she had thrown over her bag and sat directly in front of it, hoping it would only look like her bed was messy.

Katjaa turned back around and stopped two feet away from the bed. She couldn't help but stare at the blue bruises that littered Sharon's exposed skin and her mangled unclean hair. "Can I ask you about last night?"

Sharon slumped, biting at her lip.

"You left. . . and I just let you."

Sharon sat straight up. "What?"

"I knew you were planning on leaving, it was so obvious." Katjaa held her arms close. "I didn't ask you why."

"So why didn't you stop me?" 

"I know you aren't happy here." Kat dropped her arms. "Even Kenny knows it, but he won't admit it. I figured if leaving is what you really wanted then I shouldn't stop you."

Sharon pressed her lips together and nodded.

"But. . . You came back." Katjaa looked closer at the bruises, Sharon turned her head. "Why are you hurt? What happened out there?"

"I'm fine-" Sharon cut herself off, shivering in the spot. Her arms felt glued to her sides, pleading with her body to stop shaking and her eyes not to spill over.

Three months of bottled up grief and fear shattered in a moment, her face crumbled as she tried to hold in heavy sobs. 

The bed dipped as Katjaa sat by the crying young woman with a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Even while crying Sharon tried to hold back, holding her breath between sobs until her lungs forced out the air, trying so hard to be quiet and calm. It wasn't until Katjaa pulled Sharon close did she finally let go.

The guilt of putting Katjaa in this situation hurt Sharon more than her lungs.

The caring strokes on her back and fingers brushing her hair calmed Sharon's breathing, she still wept though stayed silent.

"I'm sorry, I'm so dumb, I shouldn't have left-"

Katjaa hushed her, fearing the shivering young woman would start hyperventilating again. 

"I thought I could make it on my own." Sharon whimpered. "I can handle walkers but I couldn't handle being alone."

Katjaa closed her eyes.

"And it doesn't help that I. . ." Sharon paused, feeling her heart ache at the thought of telling Katjaa. "Never mind."

"What is it?"

"You'll think I'm crazy."

"No, I won't." Katjaa pulled her away, making sure Sharon saw the sincere look. "Sharon, I'm here for you, I want to help."

Sharon sighed, feeling Katjaa's hand squeeze her shoulder. "But I don't know how you can." She looked away. "I- sometimes, when I'm alone, I-I feel like I'm not really there."

Seeing Katjaa's head turn in the corner of her eyes made her sigh again.

"It's hard to explain." 

Katjaa stayed silent, lightly squeezing Sharon's shoulder as if to say, "go on."

"Remember when the St. John's first gave me morphine and I wasn't able to understand anyone- or talk back? It's-It's like that but I can understand everything, sometimes." She shook her head. "It's different every time."

"How so?"

"Well- sometimes it's just a feeling I get, or everything will feel numb and I can't move, or sometimes everything around me just disappears, sometimes it's like I'm _watching myself outside my own body_." She took a shaky breath to stop herself from rambling. "It's so confusing."

Katjaa held her tongue, hesitating. "Does this happen often?"

"No- well, every other day. It happens mostly when I'm alone, like when I'm on night watch or when I go to bed. . . and when I left."

Katjaa opened her mouth and couldn't find the right words. "I. . . I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

Sharon nodded. "I don't expect you to."

"Did- Did this happen to you. . . before the outbreak?"

She nodded again. "Yeah, a few times, I could have counted it on my fingers. It would happen months apart so I never thought it was something to worry about, and it wasn't so. . . scary."

"Was this happening to you when. . . when we first found you?"

Sharon blinked. "Sort of, I don't remember much. I remember the fire and then walking. . ."

Katjaa nodded. "It's okay, you don't have to talk about before."

"Thank you."

The two sat in silence, Sharon carefully took deep breaths and Katjaa hushed her when she would try to apologize. 

Kat dropped her arm and gave Sharon some space, not knowing if she wanted her to be further or closer. 

When Sharon could take a deep breath without worrying the water works would return, Katjaa spoke. "What now?"

"I don't know." Sharon shrugged. "I don't think I can go on my own anymore, someone would have to come with me."

Katjaa didn't want to state the obvious: No one would willingly leave this place just in search for Lisa.

"So unless someone gets kicked out or we have to leave that direction. . ."

"You're staying." Katjaa finished.

She nodded. "You wont have to worry about me sneaking off in the night."

Kat wasn't so sure about that, again she stayed silent.

"You should probably go. Kenny wakes up around this time, right?

Kat nodded. "Before I go, is there anything I can do?"

Sharon looked down.

"You said those _'episodes'_ happen when you are alone." Sharon knew where this was going. "We can move you to a different room, mine has room for a spare bed."

"I appreciate the offer." Sharon smiled weakly. "I'm fine, I would just get in the way."

"I insist."

"No, really. It doesn't happen every night, and- well being in here is the only time I can get privacy."

"Okay." Katjaa dropped the subject, standing up and looking to the door. "Are you hurt at all? Do you need me to help you with anything?"

"No." At the thought her bruises ached. "Nothing serious, I. . . I fell down some stairs, but I'm okay."

Kat wanted to say more on the subject, she understood that Sharon wants to be alone now so she dropped it. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? While I'm here."

Her tone suggested that she knows something and Sharon could only think about what Ben said. _"I was sneaking out supplies. . . to the bandits."_

"Sharon?"

"No. That's everything, for now."

Sharon waited until the door shut to move, quickly throwing the blanket off the backpack and re-organizing the supplies on the bed, thankful that Katjaa hadn't sat on any of the bottles.

She wrote down inventory and stored everything back in the bag, hiding it under the bed once she was finished.

Once she sat down her hands flew to head head, staring at the ground as everything finally sunk in.

Katjaa knows she left the inn.

She knew.

But how? Katwasn't surprised when she opened the door, she acted as if she knew Sharon would be there. 

Someone told her.

Sharon sprung to her feet and looked through the shades, watching as Lilly surveyed the road from atop the RV. 

Would Lilly have sent Katjaa?

No one approached the door, Lilly didn't even look too upset from this point of view. It was a good sign that she wasn't trying to bust down the door. 

It has to be Ben and Travis.

Sharon flinched when Lilly whipped her head to face her, standing in the doorway frozen as the woman stared from several yards away. Sharon could see her clearly in the early morning sun and she was sure Lilly could see her clearly too.

She relaxed when Lilly finally looked away, heart no longer beating out of her chest as all eyes left her. Suddenly going back inside felt more appealing than confronting Ben and Travis.

Clem peered around the corner and looked curiously at Sharon, who looked exhausted with her slouched frame, darting eyes, and unfamiliar bruises.

"Sharon?"

The soft voice made her heart jump then warm once she realized who it was. 

"Are you okay?"

Sharon stood straight when she found the source of the voice, smiling as Clementine neared.

"I saw Lilly looking over here, is she mad at you?"

"I-" Sharon pursed her lips, hoping that Lilly is just upset at everyone today and not just her. "I don't know, I haven't done anything wrong- that I know of."

"Oh, do you think it's about Travis?"

"Travis?"

"I woke up last night and they were arguing."

Sharon glanced over to Lilly, fully expecting her to be aiming her rifle at Sharon's head. She hadn't moved from her previous position; one leg crossed looking directly at the woods, with a hint of anger.

Clem noticed this and took a step toward Sharon. "Um, if it makes you feel better, I don't think it was about you." She wrung her hands together. "And I made you a new drawing!"

Sharon wanted to pursue what Clementine meant by her first sentence, then decided to drop the subject. "Another drawing?"

"Yeah, it's downstairs, come on!"

Sharon wanted to go back inside as Lilly glanced back over to her, Clem looked between the two and grabbed Sharons hand, physically pulling her away from Lilly's eyes.

Clementine patiently led Sharon down the stairs, knowing better than to rush someone who's injured. As they reached the pallet of wood Clem has been using to draw on the two sat down, looking at the papers she had stored under it.

The top page is the one Clementine wanted to show her. "Look, it's you!" She cheerfully handed it to Sharon, pointing out the blue pajamas with the occasional red dot to signify the hearts and blank white spots where the unicorns should be. Clem even drew her new hair style. In her left hand was the cane, suddenly remembering that she should have brought it with her.

Sharon felt flattered that Clem would put this much detail on the drawing, then thought back to last night. If she followed through with her plans then Clem would have this and she would be gone. 

"Thank you, Clementine, I love it." Sharon folded up the drawing and slid it carefully in to her pocket, where it would be safe. "What are you working on now?"

Clem reached under the pallet and grabbed the page, holding it horizontally. Twelve figures holding hands standing side by side. A group picture, two figures that are no longer with them.

Sharon smiled for her but all she could see is Larry's corpse hidden behind the meat locker, blood and brain matter scattered around him;

Lilly unhinged screaming at people, her fathers blood still wet on her shirt; 

Mark legless in the upstairs bathroom, staring at her as he struggled to breath his final breaths;

Hearing Carley cry every other night as she's plagued with nightmares, confiding in each other on bad nights when the memories wouldn't stop;

Lee struggling to keep the peace while trying to care for a little girl;

Clementine being ripped from her arms and locked behind a large metal door,

Herself smiling even though everything hurts, knowing she could be another missing face;

Ben having anxiety attacks that Travis can't pull him out of, the look on his face when he knew they had to leave his teacher behind;

Travis as he cried after what happened in the meat locker, scared as he tried to grab Mark's gun to protect Mr. Parker;

Katjaa with Brenda's gun against her head and gripped in her hair, begging that Brenda let her go;

Duck asking his mom what kind of meat was on his plate, how silent he was on the walk back from the farm;

Then finally Kenny, a fresh bullet wound in his side holding his family close, constantly arguing with Lilly for their sake, and hers.

Sharon looked to the dead bodies with smiling face and smiled back. "It looks amazing."

Clementine beamed. "Thanks, I'm working really hard on it." She set the drawing with the others, her smile suddenly gone as Sharon looked away. "Um, can I ask you. . . "

Sharon turned back. "What's wrong?"

"What happened to your face?"

"Oh." Sharon held her cold fingers to the warm spot on her face. "I was hoping I could find some makeup to cover it up, I didn't want anyone to see it."

"Why not? If you're hurt you should tell someone, right?"

"Well- yeah, Katjaa knows." Sharon hesitated, staring at the confused little girl who sat in front of her. "I. . . I'm embarrassed, I got it doing something really dumb and I don't want anyone to know about it."

"Oh, I do that all the time." Clem nodded.

"You do?"

It's Clementine's turn to hesitate, thinking about what she just admitted. "Yeah, at the Dairy. . . There was a thing called a salt-lick, so I licked it, but didn't want anyone to know so I pretended I didn't. It's like that, right?"

There was a pause. "You licked the salt lick."

Clem brought her lips together in a pout.

Sharon smirked. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone as long as you don't tell anyone about this." She pointed to the bruise.

Clementine nodded, holding out her pinky finger. "Okay, deal." Sharon obliged, the two pinky swore that the salt-lick and bruises will be a secret. "And if you do find make-up, can you let me know? I wanna try."

Sharon shook their pinkie's again. "I promise." She let go and stood, again wishing she had brought the cane from her room. "I have to go before anyone else wakes up and see's me, I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Okay, bye Sharon!"

Once Clementine returned to drawing Sharon moved away, counting the doors she passed to get to Ben and Travis's room, all the way on the other side of the inn. She passed Lilly's room, then Kenny's, then Larry's old room which Lilly insisted they leave alone, and then Mark's old room where Travis and Ben stayed.

She glanced back to the deck where Sharon had let them stay the first night, not knowing that Lee and Carley both wanted nobody to be there. They claimed it was the rotted deck, though later Carley came to Sharon one nightmare filled night and told her all about the woman behind the door who collapsed the deck as they struggled for a gun, and then as the woman shot herself.

So they moved to this room.

Leaning close to the door Sharon could hear light conversation inside between the two. The room went silent after she knocked. The door swung open and she came face to face with Ben, Travis stared at her from his bed and crossed his arms.

Ben stepped aside to let her in, closing the door behind and returning to his spot on his bed, Sharon joined him on the opposite end.

"I'm sorry." Ben muttered.

Travis rolled his eyes. "Ben, we talked about-"

"We told Katjaa you left." Ben said. "I'm sorry, when Travis said you were hurt I was scared you got bit or something worse."

Travis shook his head at Ben. "We were going to tell Kenny but Kat was right there."

Sharon eyed Travis. "You were going to tell Kenny?" 

"Who else were we going to tell? Lilly?"

Sharon shut her mouth.

"Where did you go last night? When Lee and Kenny leave they don't look half as messed up as you did."

"How did you get hurt? Why did you come back?"

"Can I get one question at a time, please?" Sharon shook her head, surprised at how fast her short hair flung side to side. "I was planning on leaving a long time ago, I figured since you guys are doing so well in the group that I-"

"Speak for yourself." Travis raised his voice. "Do you have any idea how much Lilly hates me?"

Sharon paused. "Okay then, you aren't at risk of being kicked out. Trust me." She continued before Travis could interrupt her again. "I was going to go to Savannah, I had to get supplies first."

"What's in Savannah?" Ben asked.

"A _friend._ " Sharon stopped herself from saying too much. "I got those supplies from the. . ." She whispered. " _The farm._ "

"The. . . what?" Travis hesitated, hoping he wasn't hearing right.

"I-I. . . I went back to the farm."

"The farm?" Travis uncrossed his arms. "Are you crazy? Why the hell-"

" _Travis._ " Ben hushed.

"I know-I know, it's stupid." She shut her eyes tight. "They had a lot of supplies left, I figured it's better I have it than the walkers or worse the bandits." Silence. "I got a crossbow, medicine, clothes, ammo, food, tools- anything I could find that I could use aside from a gun."

Sharon could have swore they had left while she was talking if it wasn't for Ben's fidgeting shaking the bed.

"So you were going to leave without telling anyone?" Travis said.

"Every time I did they stopped me or would convince me to stay."

"We aren't everyone else." Travis nearly yelled. It wasn't until he made eye contact that she regretted not telling them before. "Do you think I _want_ to stay here? I fucking murdered someone and all Kenny can do is pat me on the back and pretend like it was the right thing, Lilly has it out for me every day, and every time I'm given a ration the kids look at me like I'm supposed to give it to them!"

Sharon opened up her eyes.

Travis stared at the ground with his hand stuffed in his jacket pockets, face red with his eyes squinted.

"Travis, I-"

A gunshot brought the room to the ground.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving!


	11. Bad Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We made a deal

_"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"_

It only took Sharon a few seconds to scramble off of the ground, carefully parting the curtains to see Kenny sprint in to his room and Clementine push her back against the closest object she should use as cover: cardboard boxes. 

Sharon ran out the door in seconds, narrowly avoiding the arrows and gunshots in the air and briefly scrambling off of the ground as Kenny bumped in to her with gun in hand. She stopped her sprint at the back end of the RV, cautiously staying out of the line of fire.

Her eyes were only set on one thing, Clementine. Lee stood in his doorway pistol in hand, sharing Sharon's terrified stare as Clem kneeled out of his reach, too dangerous for him to run for her and too far for her to move. They both know that a stray bullet or arrow could go through her protection like butter.

He leaned out of his protection for a second to fire, spotting Sharon accross the way and called out. "Get Clementine! I can cover you!"

Lee waited until Sharon reacted to brace himself, he held up his hand with a deep breath. He took his gun with both hands and stepped fully out of cover, firing at any unfamiliar figure behind the fence. 

In an instant Sharon ran, stopping only long enough to pick up the little girl. She slowed to a stop once she reached the shared bedroom, greatful to see Lee step inside after them. Unwilling to let Clementine go just yet Sharon moved further from the door, standing inbetween the beds. 

"What's going on?" Clementine asked, her words unheard between Sharon's rapid breathing.

Sharon sat down and held Clem close, craning her head to see above the beds to Lee as he switched between covering and shooting.

Gunshots filled the area, both girls couldn't tell where the sounds come from except all around. The only distinction is that Lee's gun sounded a lot louder compared to the others.

Kenny replaced Sharon's spot hiding behind the RV, locking eyes with Lee only for a moment as the bandits threatened to jump the fence. A lull in the firing, Lee looked to Kenny. "We need to get in the RV! Let's go!"

"Good luck with that!" Kenny shouted back, reaching both Sharon and Clementine's ears. "It won't start!"

"Shit." Lee muttered, bracing himself to start shooting again.

"We're going to be okay." Sharon whispered to herself. "We're going to be okay." She whispered again, as if she just noticed shivering girl in her arms

"We're going to be okay." Clementine repeated.

The two repeated themselves until the gunshots stopped, Sharon thought it was another lull until she spotted Lee in the doorway aiming at the treeline, he didn't fire.

"GO BACK!" Someone yelled, an unfamiliar man.

Clem and Sharon locked eyes.

"WE'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME ASSHOLES!"

The two seperated, standing up slowly.

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER!"

Silence.

Sharon walked foreward, stopping Clementine from following. "Stay here until we know they are gone, okay?"

Clem nodded, watching from Lee's bed as Sharon and Lee peeked out the doorway. Everyone scanned for movement, waiting on bated breath for the gunfire to start again.

"What the fuck?" Kenny called out, mimicking Sharon and Lee's position of leaning out of cover. 

Sharon stopped staring at the trees and instead stared at the bullet holes and stray arrows that lined the fence, even spotting a few holes in the RV though luckily it stayed mostly unscathed.

"I think. . ." Carley called from above. "I think they're gone."

Lilly was a welcome sight as she jogged from the other side of the RV, her worried face proved to Lee and Sharon that she's unharmed.

"We need to do a headcount." She said, looking up to the second floor to meet eyes with Carley. "Everyone behind the RV."

No one argued with her. 

Kenny nearly sprinted to his room, calling out for Kat and Duck inside. Lee turned around and walked inside to get Clementine. Sharon cautiously left the room when the two whispered. She faced the trees openly again, looking for any movement that wasn't caused by the wind. 

Carley ran from the stairs and to cover, checking in on Lee and Clementine as they left their room. As Kenny left his room with his family in tow Carley replaced Sharon's spot on the edge of the RV, looking to the treeline with her pistol raised.

"Jesus-" Carley did a double take of Sharon's face, noting the purple and blue bruises. "Sharon, what happened?"

Katjaa turned quickly at the mention of Sharon, her eyes softening when she only saw the bruises.

"What's that from?" Carley asked, hovering her fingertips over the dark spots.

"Oh shit." Kenny looked away from Duck, eyes wide. "Was that from me knocking you over?"

"Yeah!" Clementine blurted, they looked down to the little girl. "I saw it happen."

Carley relaxed and looked back to the treeline and Kenny returned his attention to making sure his son is okay. Both Lilly and Lee squinted at Sharon yet held their mouths shut.

Travis and Ben ran the distance from their room to the RV making the headcount nine, everyone is acounted for with no recent injuries aside from Sharon's face. 

"Good, we are all okay." Katjaa said.

" _Okay_?" Travis mocked. "We just got shot at for five minutes straight, we are _NOT_ okay."

"Watch your tone with my wife, kid." Kenny glared, turning his attention to the group.

"I'm not a fucking kid."

" _Language_." Clementine whispered.

"We're getting off topic here." Carley said, stopping Kenny from saying anything else.

Travis and Kenny eyed eachother. "Alright then." Kenny said. "Does anybody wanna tell me what the fuck we did to piss off those Save-Lot's assholes?"

"Exactly why we're here." Lilly looked to Lee. "Out in the woods Lee found a camcorder, it belonged to a woman who used to be one of them."

"One of the bandits?" Ben asked.

Lilly nodded. "On it she said as long as the Dairy feeds the bandits they wouldn't try to attack us."

"And we just cut their supply." Travis said, eyes glued to the ground with an unreadable face.

"What?" Kenny stepped away from Katjaa. "Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?"

"I thought you told him." Lilly looked to Lee, as did everyone else.

"I was going to say something today, but then. . . this." Lee shrugged.

"You didn't think to say something earlier?" Kenny scoffed. "Like- oh I dunno', _before we got attacked_?"

Lee crossed his arms, eyes still wide in shock. "I tried, you-"

"How exectly did you try?" Kenny threw his hands up in the air wildly. "Were you gonna' write me a fuckin' letter about it?"

"Kenny, you've been avoiding Lee since the Dairy." Lilly tapped her feet, struggling to keep her tone neutral.

Lee nodded. "You haven't been making this easy."

"So? You've had a whole week to get your tail out-between your legs!" Kenny waved an accusing finger in Lee's face. "This isn't something you just-"

"Jesus, can we not make this about you for once?" Travis suddenly shouted, Kenny stepped away from Lee and for a moment Travis regretted saying anything as Kenny directed his anger towards him. "We just got attacked, there's literally bullet holes in the windows!"

Ben looked to Kenny and back to his friend, worried that Kenny would come closer. "Travis-" Ben grabbed Travis's arm to stop him from moving.

"No!" Travis violently shook Ben's hand off and stepped foreward. "This is just like what happened at school! They are going to kick down our doors and hopefully they just kill us!"

"Woah, woah, Travis you need to calm down!" Carley shouted, looking away from the treeline. "I agree with you." She said, looking between Kenny and Lee. "You two can sort out whatever _this_ is, later."

Lilly nodded. "We can't start loosing ourselves. We aren't going to let them win."

Travis huffed, returning to Ben's side. "So then what exactly are we going to do?"

"What we're gonna do is get this RV fixed and get the hell outta' here." Kenny said, before Lilly could open her mouth.

"No." Lilly objected. "The city has food. With the walker blood trick we can go where the bandits can't."

"The city is miles away and that little trick don't work all the time." 

"Kenny's right." Lee said. 

" _Now_ you agree with me." Kenny muttered.

Lee ignored Kenny's comment. "I don't want us to go too far in to town now that those bandits are trying to take our stuff by force."

Lilly sighed, trying her best not to loose her temper as both men disagreed with her. "And what if it's worse on the road? What if we can't find food anywhere else?"

"It's only been- what, three months?" Kenny counted on his fingers. "We can find other cities with food that's safer than this death trap."

"Death trap?" Lilly scoffed, balling her hands in to fists. "If you worked harder on that fence instead of that useless RV, maybe this wouldn't be a deathtrap!"

"And if they jump the fence?" Kenny raised his voice. "What then?"

"Then we kill them. We make sure everyone carries a gun." 

Lilly turned her head, locking eyes with Sharon, shrinking backwards at Lilly's intense stare.

" _Everyone._ "

"Maybe _you_ can do that." Kenny mocked, oblivious to what Lilly just did to Sharon. "I'll do the sensible thing and leave once this RV runs."

"You can hardly get it to move three feet!"

Sharon took a step away.

"Okay, okay!" Lee interrupted. "We're getting a little off topic here. We need to discuss what to-"

Kenny crossed his arms. "I told you, I'm working on that RV."

Sharon took another step back, eyeing everyone for a reaction as she continued backing away.

"Now we're just going in circles." Travis scoffed.

Sharon slipped away, hand on her gut as the voices around her faded and the surrounding bodies vanished. She stood in the center of her room, staring wide eyed at the ground as her body shook to her core.

All she could her is the ringing in her ears. She wrung her hands together just to feel something other than the hole that bored into her chest, her nerves turned to static.

Something tapped on the window, she whipped her head around and rushed to it. Desperate to find something to ground her she tugged on the window, ignoring the tree branch that would swing in the harsh winds and occasionally bump against the glass.

Sharon focused on how cold the glass felt on her skin, how her muscles strained to lift window and how still everything is as she couldn't even make it budge. Nothing made sense as she gripped any bump or ridge she could find to move. Nothing can move, everything is stuck.

Her eyes darted around her for only a second, unable to find something close to her that she could move, something to prove to her that she's not stuck in time, something that she can control, something that can tell her that she exists. 

Nothing made sound, nothing moved, nothing felt real.

 

 

" _Ronnie_?"

 

 

Sharon blinked, the sunlight vanished drowning her in darkness, the wind rustled the dark fall leaves with nothing to illuminate it. She whipped her head around to see Kenny at her door with a dimly lit lantern in one hand and an unlabeled can in the other.

"Sorry, I knocked but you- uh. . ." Kenny opened the door wider, cautiously stepping inside. "Didn't answer."

Sharon nodded, taking a few steps away from the window. 

"You slipped away from the meeting, so I'll assume you missed all of it." Kenny said, closing the door behind him. He set the lantern on the bedside table along with the rations. "There are gonna be some changes."

"Changes?"

"We know you got something against guns, but if we got bandits at our doorstep- we need you to be ready for it." Kenny squinted as Sharon shook her head. "Maybe you were one of those people who tried to take away gun rights before all this but that don't mean-"

"Kenny, that couldn't be further from the truth."

"Then why is a gun so hard to handle? I mean you shot that crazy Saint John lady back at the farm, I don't see how a gun is any different."

"It's different."

"Then what is is?" He dramatically raised his arms. "You allergic to gunpowder?"

The room fell to silence as Sharon crossed her arms, avoiding eye contact with Kenny. He dropped the dramatics and huffed, reaching behind him.

"I'm sorry, whatever reason you hate guns you'll have to get over." He pulled a pistol out of his back pocket, raising it so Sharon would see. "Carley's gonna train you to use it starting tomorrow."

Kenny held the gun out with the grip facing her, waiting for her to take it. He almost set it down when she didn't move, instead he watched as Sharon walked up and slowly grasped it.  
Sharon sat on her bed with the gun in both hands, staring down cold metallic features. Kenny sighed, briefly looking around the room from where he stood. He spotted a chair, dragging it over to sit in front of Sharon. 

Without her eyes moving she set the gun beside her, it sent shivers through her body as it bumped against her leg. 

The shivers stopped when she spotted a hand where hers used to be. Sharon focused, seeing Kenny offer out his hand with a warm smile. She accepted the gesture and grasped it until her eye caught the glimmer of the gun just by her side. She looked back to Kenny's hand warmly squeezing her own, thinking about her gunshot wounds.

"What'cha thinkin'?" He asked.

She couldn't remove her eyes from the gun. "I was shot."

"I know, I carried you back here."

"No, I mean- I was shot. . . when I was little."

Kenny's eyes followed Sharon's and drifted to the object next to her. "Oh."

Sharon's other hand drifted to his, he took it with his free one and waited patiently for Sharon to speak. She opened her mouth to explain, almost unable to find the breath.

"Where to start? My parents. . . well, I was an accident. My parents were two high school heart-throbs with a broken condom." She spoke nearly in a whisper, only loud enough for Kenny to hear her and not a bit louder. "When they thought I wasn't listening they called me their 'little lawsuit.' I paid for their wedding."

"I thought that only happened on bad TV."

"I never had the luxury of thinking like that, they were honest with me about _everything_."

"Jesus." He lightly shook his head. "That's not something you just tell a kid."

"They weren't good parents." She said. "They would go out partying almost every night, sometimes they just drank at home. I was so little I didn't even know they were drunk, I just thought they were being silly."

Sharon dropped her eyes from the gun and looked to her hand's in Kenny's.

"That would mean they do stupid things, like invite strangers to house parties, or leaving the doors unlocked, or brag about how much money they made off their ' _little lawsuit_ '."

Kenny wanted to be furious and curse out her family, any other moment he would have. For Sharon he kept his mouth shut and struggled not to have an outburst.

"One night I heard a noise. We had a dog, Shaggy, who would get in to the garbage a lot- so I thought it was him. Mom and dad were passed out drunk in their bed so that left the six year old to scold the dog." She shook her head. "Some guy broke in, I was so little I thought that Shaggy was just making another mess when he started barking. The man saw Shaggy and just shot him-"

"He shot the dog?"

Sharon almost answered his question, instead she ignored it. "I ran in the room yelling at Shaggy, thinking he knocked something over, then the man turned and shot _me_."

Kenny shut his mouth.

"The guy took the TV and left. The gunshots woke mom and dad up so they called the cops. They didn't even know I was out there until the police showed up. They didn't even think to check up on me." Sharon made eye contact. "That's why I don't like guns."

"Jesus, and you remember all that?"

"I do, six is really young to remember but I do."

Kenny paused for a moment, absorbing what Sharon had just told him. He pressed his lips in a line, thinking about what to say to her. What do you say after all of that?

"It's okay." Sharon said, watching as Kenny struggled to say anything supportive. "It was a long time ago, I could probably shoot a gun if I really needed to."

Kenny sighed. "Shit- I wouldn't have been so hard on you if I knew all that."

Sharon shrugged, bringing her eyes back to the gun with a glum expression.

"Do you think you'll be okay?" Kenny asked. "I could ask Carley to hold off for awhile."

"No." Sharon let go, exchanging Kenny's cold hands with the cold metal of the gun, holding it in her lap carefully. "I want to be ready. If I'm going to be running through gunfire again I should be prepared."

"Atta' girl." Kenny smiled, leaning back in his chair. "There's gonna be more changes."

"Are we going to teach the kids how to shoot, too?"

"Who, you mean Travis?" Kenny chuckled, not seeing Sharon's disapproving stare. "Nah, I'd like Duck to learn sometime soon but I'm afraid he'll treat it like a toy."

"And what about Clementine?"

"She's just a little girl-"

"And Duck's just a little boy."

"Lee said he'd be open to the idea, said he wanted to talk to her about it first."

Sharon nodded. "Okay, what else was discussed?"

"We're going to start working on those walls again, building it higher and more defensible. Ever since Mark and Larry passed we haven't touched it." Kenny gestured to the gun, still in Sharon's open hands. "When you ain't training to use _that_ you'll be helping build the wall."

"So I was just volunteered?"

"Lilly insisted, she said she wants everyone to have a job." Kenny squinted as Sharon cocked an eyebrow. "Before you start: no, you ain't going on runs."

"Why not?"

"You're injured."

"So are you."

"That ain't the point!" Kenny took a deep breath. "Look, Kat talked to me about last night-"

Sharon's heart froze.

"It's fine that you aren't feeling well, I'd be worried if you weren't."

"What-" Sharon swallowed the lump in her throat, tightening her grip on the gun. "What _exactly_ did she say?"

Kenny crossed his arms, leaning further back in his chair. "She was pretty vague about it, just that you ain't feelin' quite- uh, 'yourself'."

Sharon almost sighed in relief, letting out the breath of air slowly. Kenny didn't seem to notice.

"We don't want you leaving if we can help it, but I'm not gonna chain you to your bed. If it'll stop you from going stir-crazy, we're gonna check the bodies of the dead bandits for any supplies tomorrow." Kenny said, his tone flat. "If it wasn't dark out already we'd be doing it now."

Sharon nodded, setting the gun back to her side as Kenny paused.

"You still have that backpack you took from that store back in Macon?" Kenny asked, looking around from where he sat.

Sharon straightened her posture, looking in the corner of her eye to see the crossbow sticking out from the edge of her bed, just out of Kenny's sight.

"Yeah, I have all my stuff in it." Sharon said, looking back to Kenny.

"Good, cause' while you're working on the fence I'll be working on that RV. If I can move that piece-of-shit three feet I can move it the hundred-somethin' miles to Savannah."

Sharon would have choked if she was eating. "Savannah?"

"Yes, Savannah." He smirked. "I heard you talkin' about it and, well, you got a point. It's out by the water, there's gotta be boats there. Screw this bandit bullshit, there ain't nothin' gonna stop us out on the water." 

Sharon glanced back to her bag, thinking about how long the trip would be with the RV compared to on foot. "Do you think I'll have time to look for Lisa?"

"I dunno, kid. We don't know what it's like out there." Kenny said, his voice turning quiet once he saw Sharon's face. "Lilly wants to wait until we have nothing left to leave, so it might be awhile." 

He hated the look on her face.

"I'm sorry, I really am." He muttered, looking Sharon in the eyes even though she didn't. "If it's quiet, sure, we could look. If this Lisa girl means that much to you then, shit- I'll help look with you."

"Really?" Sharon looked up, thinking she'd see deception or sarcasm in his face. 

He's serious.

"Of course, I mean- the way you just ran in to the gun fire like that today for Clementine, and everything you do for Katjaa and Duck." He smiled. "Sometimes it feels like you are apart of this family."

Sharon didn't know how to respond. "You're joking, right?" 

Kenny held back a chuckle. "Girl, you get on my nerves sometimes but you're still nice to have around."

Sharon tried to speak. She tried to argue, to force herself to distance their relationship, to tell him that he doesn't get to say that. 

The backpack only a few feet away called to her, everything she owns is in that bag and more, it would be so easy to take it and run. This time she knows what to expect, she knows what it can be like out there. She could take Travis and Ben with her, it would be so easy to leave.

Lisa can still be waiting.

"Are you alright?"

Sharon felt whiplash from how hard she hit reality.

"You ain't having a- uh, 'episode' are ya'?"

"No, no I. . ." Sharon muttered. "Thank you."

She blinked, worried that Kenny could hear her heavy breathing.

"I-I appreciate it."

Kenny smiled, reaching out and messing up Sharon's hair. "Get some sleep, kid. First thing tomorrow morning we're checking those bodies, then you're gun training."

She nodded, watching as Kenny stood and turned away with the lantern in his hand.

"And eat your rations."

Sharon forced a huff, giving the impression that she is okay. "Whatever, _dad_."

Kenny laughed as he walked away, softly shutting the door behind him leaving Sharon in the cold empty room.

The contrast of the light leaving made the room seem darker, now that Kenny wasn't speaking all that was left is ringing.

 

Then the world fell to static.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loosely based Sharon's panic attack/freak out on one that I have experienced.
> 
> Okay! So I started thinking about when I should post chapters, usually when I make myself a schedule I don't follow it and that sucks. I was thinking of releasing one chapter a month, OR every holiday (that I celebrate.) I'm still trying to figure it out, but for now here's my birthday/Hanukkah release!


	12. Hit The Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where did yesterday go?

" _Finally put him to sleep, eh_?” She smiled, already knowing her answer as the baby’s crying had stopped long ago. “ _Were you able to rest at all?_?"

"No, I pretty much stayed up all night. Brandon was too fussy to even sit down. I think it’s that rash."

Sharon poured herself and Lisa a cup of water, the two leaned on the tiled counter top, both exhausted.

"I was thinking about going back to the crash, last night." Sharon said, gauging Lisa's reaction to the statement as she continued. "We didn't have a lot of time to look when we found him, maybe we can find something else?"

"And what about the lurkers?" Lisa asked, eyebrows up in worry. "You would have to go alone, we can't leave Brandon in the basement."

"It's just a few blocks away. If there are too many lurkers then I can turn back."

Lisa sighed, running a hand through her already messy black hair. "I don't want to risk your life just for some baby food and memento's that might not even be there."

Sharon nodded, eyeing the small pile of baby food they had left. A handful of jars and the two packets of powdered formula. Enough for a few weeks if he eats light, which is a struggle when food seems to be the only thing to calm him down. They had considered giving the baby mashed 'grown up' food, the lack of power and tools to turn their food to mush made it too difficult.

"How about this." Lisa said, bringing Sharon out of her thoughts. "You take a nap downstairs and I'll take Brandon up here while I keep watch. When you wake up you can go, but if you aren't back in an hour I'll take our car to come get you. Deal?"

Sharon hummed. The walk all the way to the crashed car would take twenty minutes at least, she hadn't really pinpointed exactly where the totaled car is so finding it would cost her more time. Though the fact that Lisa would let Sharon leave solely for curiosity made her happy.

Sharon smiled, leaning to meet only inches away from Lisa's face. "Deal."

Lisa leaned closer and they sealed their deal with a kiss. They paused as a low whining traveled up through the floor.

The women lightly chuckled. Sharon quickly drank her water as Lisa disappeared down the stairs, returning with the little boy in her arms and clinging to her shirt.

“I just hope the car has something for the rash, I don’t know how long we can keep up these all nighters.” Lisa said, speaking in a silly voice to keep Brandon entertained, when he giggled she continued the voice. “Yeah! These all nighters are driving me crazy! Crazier than I am without my meds!”

“Lisa.” Sharon warned, Lisa dropped the silly mannerisms. “Have you started weening yourself yet?”

Lisa nodded. With that Sharon approached the two, Brandon felt comfortably squished as the women met again for a parting kiss, reaching out his tiny digits as Sharon walked away from the embrace.

Downstairs Sharon changed out of her jeans into her pajama's, wrapping herself up in the blankets and falling to the bed.

Then Sharon smelled the smoke, the crackling of wood, something sizzled. In the blink of an eye she was on two feet. Everything around her burned, fire traveled up the walls and surrounded her.

The sweat dripped off her brow as she centered herself in the room, coughing up black tar that dribbled down her chin and smearing in her hands.

Somewhere she could hear Lisa calling out to her, screaming for help, screaming for Sharon, screaming in pain. No matter where Sharon turned she could only see fire, entrapped in a box surrounded by flames yet Lisa sounded crystal clear.

Brandon started squirming in her arms, she couldn't remember when she picked him up. She could hear the surrounding walkers, she could feel them clawing at the baby, she could feel the glass cutting her hand, she could feel everything.

"Sharon?"

 

 

Sharon shot up with her pajamas and hair clinging to her skin. The sweat dripped from her head. 

No blood.

No screaming.

No burns.

Just nightmares.

"Uh- Are you in here?" Ben side-stepped inside, Sharon would have seen him shaking if she was looking. "Sorry. I knocked but you didn't answer."

The heat came in waves, Sharon flung the blankets off quickly and scooted away from the wet spot on the bed. 

She used the back of her hand to wipe away the sweat. If it were any other person at her door she would have told them to come back later, though since Ben had gathered the courage to wake her up after she had night shift meant he needed something. 

"What do you need?"

He scratched the back his head and looked out the door, slowly closing it behind him when he saw no one could be close enough to listen in. He gave Sharon some privacy by staying put as she disappeared into her bathroom. "I- I uh. . . I need something to give to the bandits."

Sharon turned the water on as high as the knobs would turn, only a slight trickle came out of the faucet. "Of course. . ."

"What?"

Sharon sighed, attempting to gather as much water as she could in cupped hands. "I'm running out of supplies, Ben. They wanted three bottles for this morning, I only have two left now and it’s _vitamins_."

"I know. . ."

"Where's Lilly?" Sharon asked, bringing the small puddle of water to her face. "Is she on watch?"

"No, she won't leave her room." He gripped his arm tight and brought his shoulders up. "I think Lilly is on to us."

Sharon paused, holding her breath as her face remained submerged in the handful of water. She waited for Ben to say more, when he stayed silent she let the water splash into the sink and took a breath. "We talked about this."

"I know, but it doesn't make me feel better to just throw you under the bus when _I'm_ the one who deserves it." Ben shrugged. "She was screaming a little bit ago, she knows we're going through her stash."

Sharon stepped out of the bathroom, un-surprised that Ben had planted his feet at the front door. "She knows that _we_ are doing it, or that _someone_ is doing it?"

"I don't know but she has Lee asking everyone who broke the flashlight. I know you cracked it but I'm the one who shattered it, I should take the blame for that at least."

Sharon wanted to roll her eyes. "I'm also the one sneaking out every other night looking for supplies."

Ben groaned, snapping his hands to his head. "We're so screwed, we're so-"

"BEN." Sharon turned away and quickly brought her hand to her mouth, roughly wiping away the water she hadn't been able to dry off. "I'm sorry, I'm not in the mood to talk about this right now."

Ben slowly dropped his hands.

She turned to face him again. "Did you put out a bag today?"

Ben nodded. "I-I need something for tonight."

"Okay, I'll have it ready."

Ben stayed frozen in the spot, he started a lot of words but couldn't end it. Sharon almost wanted to tell him to spit it out but she can guess what he's trying to say.

"I will be okay on my own." She said, trying hard to not sound like she’s pleading with him. "If Lilly kicks me out or if Kenny decides to leave before that, I'll be going to Savannah either way. Okay?"

Ben looked away, mouth shut. He shook his head, he obviously wanted to say more but he knew Sharon would shoot him down.

She repeated herself, this time in a calming voice. "Okay?"

He turned away, hand on the door handle. "Sure."

After a few minutes of privacy now that Ben left the room Sharon got dressed and ready for the day.

Ben has been becoming unbearable, nobody else had to deal with him as he bottled up everything and would only tell it to her, though she understood that he couldn’t confide in anyone else about the bandit deal. 

His consistent anxiety attacks make it hard enough for her to handle the day. Not to mention how unwilling he is to let her sacrifice her position in the group for his sake. It's the same argument every day, she hoped they could meet in the middle some how but he refuses any suggestion she comes up with. 

Some nights- while she's pilfering through abandon houses for supplies- she wants to sleep in the disheveled beds she finds and try her luck being on her own, to take a rest and force herself to leave the group. She wants to pack as much food as she can find and leave, find another city to scavenge from and go to Savannah alone.

Then Ben pops into her mind, terrified of being on his own without help, he wouldn't last a day without Sharon getting supplies for him. It would be so easy for Lilly to catch him with his hands in the supplies and then it would be over, no more waiting.

For now Sharon bides her time with chores and night runs, waiting for that moment when one of them gets too clumsy and ‘accidentally’ let’s everyone know that the bandit’s are at their throats. That way she wouldn't have to convince Ben every single night to leave her behind.

“That’s not an excuse to treat him like that.” Sharon said to herself, inspecting where the bruises used to be on her cheek.

Sharon is almost the most patient person she knows, which is a bold statement as she used to know everyone who frequented her local church. She’s better than this, she can be more patient with him. Ben is scared, he’s terrified, and he’s constantly feeling guilty.

“Crap.” She locked eyes with her reflection. “I should apologize. . .” _Beat._ “After my shift.”

Out of the comfort of her spare pajamas and a private space Sharon left her room, the jeans are uncomfortable but the sight of the mid fall day wasn’t, so many pretty colors that contrasted with her dark and gloomy room.

From where she stood she could see Ben and Travis both on watch, with Ben closest to her.

Then she heard a male voice to her left. "I'm going to look into this thing."

Carley looked past Lee, the first to spot Sharon emerging from her room. Lee turned and followed Carley's eyes. 

"Good evening." Lee greeted, nodding at her from a few feet away. 

Carley waved lightly, returning to her position of leaning on the railing once Sharon waved back. "Just remember what I said." She whispered, returning he attention back to the road as Lee walked away.

When he reached Sharon’s side he stopped. "Hey, mind if I talk to you for a second?"

Sharon eyed the big yellow flashlight in his left hand, the same that she had brought with her to the Dairy, the same that Ben had shattered only a few feet from his own bedroom door. 

This means Lilly is paranoid enough to look through their garbage dump behind the inn, even Sharon couldn’t handle the smell of rotten food and corpses that wouldn’t burn anymore. 

Lee noticed her look and held it up. "Do you know anything about this?"

"Well, it's a flashlight, for starters." Sharon said. "It's a divers flashlight."

"What?" Lee looked at it closer, perhaps looking for a sticker that said ‘made for divers.’ "How do you know that?"

"My girlfriend's dad used to dive, had one just like it." Sharon shrugged. "But. . . that one is broken."

"Yeah, it is." He lowered his hand.

Sharon sighed, glancing to Ben for only a second to see if he was looking. He was. Ben whipped his head around to face Travis. She thought about how Ben wanted to take the blame, to let him have this one so not everything will be placed on her. "I did it."

Lee was taken aback by the sudden confession, one he didn’t expect coming from _her_ of all people. "You did?" He crossed his arms, unknowingly waving the flashlight in her face. "Why'd you hide it?"

"I hid it because. . ." 

She didn't know what to say, it felt too early to talk about the deal with the bandits now that they haven’t been attacking them anymore, but nothing felt right on her tongue. Taking the two steps to the railing she looked for any visual cues, something that could help her come up with a good lie. Her eyes landed on Kat and Kenny sitting on the couch downstairs, both facing away from the deck Lee and Sharon stood on.

"Kenny."

"What?"

"I didn't want him to find out about it." Sharon looked back to Lee. "Ever since I got shot he's been treating me like a child, if he knows I broke something he'd flip out."

"So instead, Lilly flips out." He shook his head. "She's having me looking around for clues to missing supplies now, did you know about that?"

Sharon's stomach churned. "Ben told me."

He relaxed his arms, setting the flashlight on the railing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd freak out about it." 

Lee stayed silent.

"Game night isn't cancelled now, is it?" Sharon asked, Lee dropped his shoulders. "Clementine pretty much begged to have a girls night and I really don't want to break a pinky swear over this."

Lee smirked slightly. "Okay, girls night isn't cancelled, but I will have to let Lilly know about this."

"I understand." Sharon smiled. 

“I’ll uh- I’ll give you a few minutes before I tell her.”

“Thanks. Is there anything else Lilly has you searching for, or can I go work on the fence before she starts yelling at me?"

Lee hesitated. "No, that's it." 

"Okay." Sharon turned around quickly, eager to get away from the conversation. As she reached the stairwell she turned to see Lee following shortly her.

"Actually. . ." He looked down, bowing his head as he thought of what to say. "There is something you need to know. . . about me."

"Um, okay?" Sharon turned away from the stairs. "What's wrong?"

"I'd rather you hear this from me and not from someone else, so you can get all the information first hand." Lee said, rehearsing the lines in his mind. "Three months ago, I was being sent to prison."

Sharon took a step back. "What?!" She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, what are you- you mean-"

"Sharon-"

"You were sent away for something like tax evasion, right?" Sharon shook her head. "Jesus, you're looking after Clementine, _you share a room with her_."

Lee stayed silent, pressing his lips together tight as he listened to Sharon ramble.

"What for?" She asked, stopping herself from asking more questions so he could speak.

"I'm not proud of what I did, I need you to know that." He locked eyes with Sharon wishing he hadn't said anything, the last time he's seen her this scared was when Andy aimed a gun at Katjaa's head. "I. . . I killed a man."

Sharon stayed silent for a moment, feeling as if she physically ingested this information as her stomach did flops. "Lee, I. . ."

"He was-"

"I'm going to work on the fence." Sharon said, turning away from him, she could feel him staring at her. "I won't say anything to anyone, just please leave me alone."

Sharon didn't stay to see his hurt face, with every step she could feel his eyes on her back more and more. To further avoid him she quickly turned once she reached the landing and walked out of view, regretting it as she walked directly through Clementine’s excited eyes.

"Hey, Sharon!" Clementine called, frowning when the young adult flinched. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

Sharon took a deep breath. "Sorry, Clem. I need to work on the wall right now, okay?"

"Okay, but here!" Clementine reached under the pallet of wood and held out a sheet of stickers, half were already used. "Ben gave me these, I put it on my walkie."

Sharon carefully took the stickers and looked away, unknowingly looking away from the walkie-talkie the little girl presented. For Clementine's sake she pretended to be interested. "Thanks Clem, I don't know what I'll do with them, though."

"Hm." Clem looked down, smiling back up at Sharon. "Maybe put it on your crossbow? It looks kinda old."

Sharon nodded, carefully folding the sheet and sliding it into her pocket. "Okay, it's in the RV right now. I'll put these on later."

Clem wanted to say more, she could easily see that Sharon is distressed so she stayed silent. She raised an eyebrow and stared as the woman repeatedly wrung her hands. In her peripheral Sharon spotted Lee descending from the stairs.

"I gotta go."

She ignored all eyes and easily found the last spot she was working at, a pile of disassembled furniture lay by her station of tools ready to be nailed to the wall.

And so she went to work, easily distracting herself with fortifying the wall. Find a place to put wood, nail, make sure it stays, find new wood, repeat. Though the mundane task wasn’t enough to distract her from thinking, as she hovered a nail over a board she could see her hand shaking, grunting as she missed the nail and hit her hand with the hammer.

She needs someone to bounce her thoughts off of.

Sharon could imagine Lisa on the other side of the wall, plain as day in clean clothes, never having missed a day of eating food. She could see the expensive fabric of her red blouse, the tiny silver chain around her neck, the wavy pattern of the heart-shaped stone that hung from the necklace, her beautiful wavy black hair.

The image became real, standing with beautiful dark brown eyes on Sharon and a wide grin.

Lisa’s eyebrows turned up, her head cocked to the side. “Sharon, are you okay?”

She didn’t know how to answer that.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She would have scoffed. “That’s not funny.”

“It is to me.” Lisa smiled, leaning on the fence where there is no barbed wire. “So what’s wrong? What did Lee say?”

Sharon refused to respond. She isn’t real, she isn’t there, this isn’t happening. Attention returned to the plank, inspecting spots to place it.

“Don’t ignore me.” Lisa said, Sharon could hear the smile in her voice. “Come on, what did Lee say that could get you so wound up?”

"How do you know-" Sharon stopped herself. She isn't real. “If I tell you will you go away?” Sharon muttered, looking in the corner of her eyes to make sure no one close by could hear her.

“No, but it will make you feel better.”

Sharon placed the wood on the fence and looked to where she could nail it. There’s too much metal on the other side to nail it through, not here.

Lisa waited, a big smile on her face as Sharon pressed her lips together.

“Fine.” Sharon rested the board on the ground, pretending to inspect it. “Lee just told me he killed someone.”

“So?” Lisa dropped the smile. “With the lurkers around killing everyone you’d think that’s the norm.”

“You know what I mean.” Sharon hissed, afraid to look up. “He was on his way to prison, which means the court ruled him guilty. A room of people agreed that he wasn’t safe to be around.”

Lisa hummed. “Okay, but think of this:” Sharon watched as Lisa hopped the fence a little too easy. “He’s saved your life before.”

Sharon picked up the wood and walked to the spot Lisa had jumped from. A perfect fit for the board. 

“Lee pretty much saved everyone at the dairy, he’s risked his life for this group, he’s never been violent towards anybody in this group.” Lisa paused. “Well, if you count yelling at Larry count, but to be fair Larry was a prick.”

“Lisa.” Sharon turned to face her, locking eyes with the brown eyed woman. “He’s dead, don’t speak about him like that.”

“I’m dead, so I’m allowed to, right?” Lisa walked to stay in Sharon’s view as she turned away. “C’mon, Ronnie-”

“You’re not dead.”

Lisa rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’m alive and in Savannah waiting for you, now will you please talk to me.”

Sharon paused, kneeling down by her board and gesturing for Lisa to join her on the ground. Lisa obliged, sitting formally on her knees.

“Lee isn’t a bad guy, you know that.”

“Do I really?” Sharon asked, continuing before Lisa could quip. “He’s a convicted killer, just because the government is a no-show doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow the laws.”

“You killed Brenda, does that mean everyone else should avoid you? Lock you up in your room?”

“That was in self defence- Lisa they _drugged_ me.”

Although she knew this figure isn’t real, she could feel a warm hand on her shoulder, pressure on her skin, her heartbeat going wild.

“I remember.” Lisa whispered. “I was there.”

“We don’t know if Lee killed that guy out of self defence or just because he felt like it.”

“Well, he was going to say but you stopped him.” Lisa smirked, rubbing her hand up and down the distraught woman’s back. “Sharon, you remember when Larry would get on Lee’s case every day?”

Sharon nodded.

“Not once did Lee try fighting him. Kenny’s tried fighting Larry, but Lee has never raised a finger towards him. The only time you've ever seen him get violent was. . . well, was with the bandits and the Saint Johns.”

A moment of silence as the only woman physically present debated in her mind, thinking of everything Lee has ever done, every time he’s protected Clementine, every time he’s risked himself for someone else, every chance he’s had to do something wrong.

“So, you know what you gotta do now?” Lisa asked.

Sharon nodded. “I have to go apologise.”

“Yup!” Sharon could feel herself moving as Lisa shook her, was she really moving or was it her mind tricking her?

“That makes, what, two people I have to apologise to?”

“Three.” Lisa said. “Ben and Lee for how you acted, Lilly for breaking the flashlight.”

“Right.” Sharon sighed. “Don’t forget, I have to apologise to Ben for the flashlight too, he wanted to take the blame.”

“How’s that gonna go?” Lisa cleared her throat, poorly mimicking Sharon’s voice. “Howdy Ben, I sure am sorry for taking the blame, next time you break somethin’ I’ll be sure to blame you for it!”

Sharon giggled. “Why am I so southern?”

“It’s the spoiled brat in me, all southerners are just hillbilly’s who can’t read, I can’t help it.”

“You’ve lived in a mansion for two years, has that already gotten to your head?”

“Two years have turned me into an old british lady.” Lisa placed her hand over her heart and batted her eyelashes. “I have my painted portrait hanging in my dining room and one of the family over the mantle. Soon I’ll have the help feed me caviar with a golden spoon!”

"You don't even like caviar." Sharon held her hand over her mouth to stop giggling, she couldn’t imagine the same Lisa who used to volunteer at homeless shelters every weekend becoming so posh.

"I don't have to, it costs a lot so obviously I have to love it."

Sharon took her hammer and nail, quickly getting back to work before someone could see her giggling to herself. “When I’m done with this, I’m going to go talk to Lee.” Sharon said, using the hammering to mask the sound of her voice. “Will you come with me?”

Lisa didn’t answer her, if she wasn’t standing in Sharon’s peripherals she would have thought Lisa had vanished.

“Please?” Sharon nearly dropped the nail. “Just stay for a little while longer.” Silence. “Lisa, I miss you so much, please don’t leave me again.”

Sharon dropped her tools, turning to see an empty parking lot. 

With a deep breath Sharon abandoned her station, getting halfway to the RV before spotting Duck at the opened gate, Lee emerged with a brown paper bag that made her frozen to her spot. Duck ran off with a big smile on his face and Lee walked straight toward Lilly’s room, he didn’t look happy.

“Hey, Lee!” Sharon called, her heart racing as she had no idea what to tell him. 

He stopped, turning his head but not his body. 

“W-what uh- what time is it?”

He raised his brow and check his watch, unknowingly raising the paper bag. Sharon's breath hitched. “Two o’clock. Why, you got somewhere to be?”

“N-no.” Sharon glanced up, Ben looked as pale as she felt. “I just- it’s getting darker out quicker. Fall is coming sooner than I thought.”

Lee gave her a look but didn’t question her further, continuing his walk to Lilly’s room.

The bandits agreed on 2 AM and 2 PM to pick up supplies, on the dot. They have been getting overly aggressive as of recent when it comes to negotiations but haven't made any moves yet, if they miss a package then that's the last straw. To quote, "if you miss one more fucking package we'll bust down your fucking doors and kill you."

All of her supplies are in the RV, as well as Kenny’s, Katjaa’s, and Lee’s. Who cares if someone sees her do it, if she doesn’t replace the bag NOW then the bandits will have all the motive to attack.

Sharon looked up once more, everything nerve flared at the sight of Ben and Travis standing, both of their guns raised at the treeline.

She didn’t even see them jump the fence. One unmasked man stood at behind her before anyone could react, gun at the back of her head.

The man in the black ski-mask called out. "Everybody on the ground!"

Three more bandits jumped the gates with weapons pointed at anyone who posed a threat. The one with the gun at Sharon’s head and pulled her closer to him, his whiskers brushing against her cheek.

“Nice to see you in the light, girly.” He chuckled, the cold hard metal of the pressing against her right temple, along with the metal from his sunglasses on her left cheek. “Can’t say the same about your friend there.”

Sharon didn’t dare turn her head, looking out the corner of her eye as Ben stepped off the ladder.

“Everyone over here, on your fucking knees!” The man with the sunglasses demanded.

The two with guns gathered anyone that wasn’t already there to a clear spot in the lot, lining everyone up on the ground with hands on their heads. One stomped up the stairs to personally grab Carley. 

The only two missing are Lilly and Lee.

"What do you want from us?" Katjaa cried out, her eyes shut tight.

"We want the supplies." A woman said.

"What fucking supplies? We hardly have anything left!" Kenny argued.

"OUR supplies, anything you have is ours now!"

"You ain't takin' our stuff!"

"THEN YOU DON'T FUCKING STEAL FROM US!"

Carley was the last to join the group.

“Whatever the fuck you guys want from us ain’t here!” Kenny shouted.

“We want everything you own, so either start pointing fingers to where your stash is or we gonna have a problem.” The woman in the purple jacket said, her voice calm and lacking any hint of mercy.

The man in the ski mask started to pace. "YOU MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIVES!"

Ben's hyperventilating caught her eye, he looked around in a panic unable to keep his hands still from shaking. He could pass out if he can’t control his breathing or worse he could try something stupid, which wouldn’t be out of character for him.

"Ben." Sharon whispered, hoping he could hear her across Travis. "Calm down."

He didn't hear her, breathing heavy still and shaking, his eyes darted around, looking everywhere but to her. Then she looked to Travis, he stared at the ground with the same look in his eyes when he knew the Saint Johns were working for the same bandits that are holding guns to his head.

"Travis, calm him down!"

He looked from Ben to her, shaking his head. "What do you expect me to do?"

"I don't know, anyth-"

_WHACK!_

Sharon fell to the ground at the hit, rubbing the back of her head where the masked woman hit hit her. 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

The masked woman pulled Sharon back up to a sitting position by her jacket, momentarily choking her as she attempted to get back into position. Everyone got the hint and shut up.

"Enough of this bullshit." The masked man grumbled. "Drew, start putting your boot to these doors!"

The man with the shades, Drew, nodded and put his gun down for a second. He quickly stopped and aimed it back to Kenny’s head.

"Hold it asshole!"

Everyone hesitated to look up, some didn’t. Eyes wide when Lee started walking close with his hands up. "Take it easy. . ." His eyes wandered to Clementine, he struggled to keep calm when he saw the gun at the back of the little girl's head. "W-we have more supplies, we can keep the deal going."

Ben gave Sharon the same confused yet terrified look she gave him. She tried to tell him that Lee doesn’t know it’s them responsible for this with only a shake of her head.

"Too late shithead!"

Her eyes wandered toward her bedroom door, someone's on the balcony. 

"We ain't giving second chances!"

Her eyes shot down to the ground when Sharon saw who it is. Lilly with a rifle in her hands.

"It was a mix up! We'll make it worth your while!" Lee pleaded with them, making her wonder if he does know about their agreement after all. "What will it take to reach a deal?"

"'Bout twice as much as you been giving us!" 

Sharon almost choked on her saliva, just at the thought of giving them _six_ bottles of medicine in the morning made her world hazy.

Lee nodded. "You got it!" Six bottles and six cans a day. "Done!"

"Is that so?" 

Sharon wanted to plead with both Lee and the bandit, to tell them that the city is running dry, there is no hope left in Macon. 

"Well, I suppose we can hash out some terms then." He lowered his gun, everyone else but Drew followed suit.

"I don't like no hash!" Drew argued.

"Man, shut up or I'll-"

_BANG!_

"CHRIST!"

"OH SHIT!"

Everyone scattered, not waiting for the bandits gain their senses.

Gunshots echoed from every direction, no one had time to think, by the time Sharon reached her closest cover she realized how dumb her mistake was.

She's hiding behind the couch.

A rifle fired, the shot passing over Sharon, narrowly missing Ben, and through the window to to Lilly’s room. Kenny ran out of the same room after seeing the curtains fly from the force of the bullet. 

Rifle in his hands he pulled Lee away from view of the bandits and handed the weapon to him. "Cover our people and get them to the RV!"

Kenny slammed the door open without a second glance, cursing with every breath as he turned the keys, eyes darting from the dashboard to the fence. 

When the bandits started jumping the fence he ducked down, unable to see the bandits use the same cover Sharon was using, unaware of her only inches away.

Lee, however, noticed this as he poked out of cover long enough to shoot back at the bandits, spotting Sharon covering her ears as guns were being shot directly above her.

With the aim that would make Carley proud Lee took out two of the bandits. Their masks made it easier for Lee to pull the trigger, the adrenaline stopped him from thinking about real people behind thin layers of cloth.

One bandit remained on the left side, gun inches above Sharon's head, still unaware of her presence as he pinned Lee down, waiting for movement to fire.

Lee couldn't shoot with the bandit constantly firing, and others in the treeline covering him. 

Ben shook to his core, standing and breaking into a run if only for a second before Travis grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him back down.

Another shot, Sharon watched as the gun above her recoiled and Travis stood with the same shocked expression she felt when they first met.

"Travis!"

The blood pooled from his shoulder.

Lee turned to shoot, hearing the shot before he squeezed the trigger, watching the bandit fall limp on the couch with his gun in Sharon's lap.

"Sharon, move!" Lee called, then looking to Carley, Travis, and Ben. "Now! Get over here!"

Carley took the gun from Sharon's hands when they got close. "Hey, are you hurt?" Carley looked her up and down, then to the bloodied teen still behind cover with Ben hovering over him. "Shit, just get Travis inside, I’ll cover you!"

Blood coated Travis's back and seeped through his fingers, swatting Ben's hands away like an annoying fly. He only allowed Sharon to help as she moved his hands out of the way to look at the wound. She ignored his pained moans as he gripped it tight to stop the bleeding.

Sharon strained herself to be heard under the shouting, the RV struggling to turn over, and the gunfire. "Can you walk?"

"Fuck- I don't know!" He tried using his right hand on the ground to balance himself, once he applied pressure his arm faltered and collapsed. "How could you do _ANYTHING_ when you got shot!?"

"Get over here!" Carley called, aimlessly shooting at the gates to keep the bandits at bay.

Ben grabbed Travis's good shoulder and tried to help his friend up, receiving rough jabs and curses.

"Let go of me!" 

Sharon, with lack of time to deal with him being a brat over this, adjusted herself to essentially bear hug him and stand up, letting him go once he was on his feet.

He didn't waste time jogging inside with Ben attempting to look over him, when they got inside she looked in her backpack for the medical supplies she had left.

Sharon didn't waste time tending to Travis's shoulder, it bled profusely making her worry that something was terribly wrong. She managed to get him to take his jacket off, he didn't want to take off his shirt in front of everyone (what a time to be self-conscious) so she had to work around the shirt.

Travis downright refused to let Ben touch him, if Sharon needed help or if Ben just tried to help on his own Travis would freak out and slap Ben's hands away. 

She needed help but no one around would be able to. Lilly, Lee, and Carley are still outside the RV, fighting back walkers and bandits so she couldn't ask them for assistance. Eventually she gave up on asking Ben for help and just had him hand her what she needed.

Finally Lee and Carley ran back inside, Carley is useless when it comes to fixing up injuries as she has a semi-weak stomach and Lee looked stressed enough already so Sharon stayed silent. The questions she wanted to asked ran through her head a mile a second but she stifled it with the blood on her hands and flesh between her fingers.

The RV lurched forward and Sharon had to pull her hands away from Travis's shoulder, her whole body reacting as he cried out in pain. Instead she held him steady as Kenny drove over everything in his path on the way out. Lilly jumped in at the last second as she slammed the door behind her.

Kenny floored it, driving through gates and driving sloppily as he took off, uncaring what we hit or how bumpy the ride was. When the ride stilled enough for her to return to her work she sat on the couch and threw her legs over Travis's lap, hoping that would stabilize him enough to keep him upright.

Just this morning Sharon wished that something would happen to get her out of the Inn and on the road.

She got her wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Have some suffering! :)
> 
> Edit: I didn't have a lot of time to error check during the holidays so I went back and fixed a whole bunch of stuff.


	13. It's Just One Bullet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension on high

Amid the shouting and hectic escape Sharon managed to stop Travis from hemorrhaging, luckily the bullet went straight through his shoulder and missed his bone, but that also meant he has both an entry and exit wound that she needs to take care of.

Reaching for the bandages on her lap she stared at her dirt still under her uncovered fingernails, now that she had dealt with his still bleeding flesh without any gloves the wound needs to be properly cleaned. She’d had dealt with her risk of sepsis from her own gunshot and had gotten over a small fever, but now they don’t have running water or antibiotics.

"Ben," Sharon said, looking away from her nails and pressing the cloth harder in Travis’s shoulder. "Can you hand me the peroxide? It's in my bag."

Lilly blocked the sink that held Sharon's bag with her body. "No." Her hands gripped the counter behind her as the fake wooden floor beneath them swayed.

Carley scoffed. "What is she supposed to do? Let him bleed out?"

"You can stop the bleeding but we are not doing anything else until we figure out how this happened." Lilly shook her head. "We just lost everything."

"Well we're lucky as shit to have this RV!" Kenny exclaimed.

_“Ducky, can you go sit in the back with Clementine?”_

"And nobody died." Sharon reluctantly wrapped up Travis's injury.

_”But mom-”_

"Somebody in here caused this.” Lilly growled.

_”Please, sweety.”_

"Settle down back there; the bandits have had our number for weeks!" Kenny shouted back, his eyes darting from the road to his wife.

_"Okay. . ."_

"This is different. . ." Lilly looked to Lee, then back to the group. "Somebody was working with them. Whoever it was, was slipping them our meds. They didn't get their last package, so they attacked! Lee found a bag of supplies hidden outside the wall."

Duck didn’t seem to see the blood on Sharon’s hands or the open wound in Travis’s shoulder, he didn’t even notice the argument as he walked right past Lilly to the back of the RV and stared out the window.

Lee looked away from Duck and nodded. "It's true."

"So, _Sharon_." 

Sharon felt her already shaky fingers slip on the bandages. 

Lilly leaned forward. "Is there something you want to say?"

"Why the hell are you accusing her?" Kenny quickly asked.

Lilly ignored him and crossed her arms. "Well? Do we have to get it out of you?"

"Hey- back off." Travis scoffed, trying to cross his arms as well.

"You are in no position to made demands." Lilly glared at Travis, then at Ben who sunk further into his seat.

Carley crossed her arms. "And you can't just point fingers!"

"I didn't just come up with this, I've had my suspicions."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Probably not the best time, Lilly."

"If not now, when?" Lilly gestured wildly around the room. "Look at what just happened!"

“We’re all okay now, though.” Ben said.

"Why her?" Lee asked, momentarily stopping Lilly from continuing. "This seems like a stab in the dark, Lilly."

"She is always SO eager to run out to the city, so eager to leave! It just so happened that on the DAY that she was going to be trained to use a gun she conveniently finds a crossbow in the woods." Lilly counted each offense on her fingers. "She never talks about herself, hell, she could have been related to the bastards for all we know."

Sharon's eyes didn't leave her work. "My family isn't a bunch of looters! My dad was a little league coach and my mom was a florist."

Lilly leaned forward. "You're not saying it wasn't you."

Even though Lilly isn't looking at him, Ben shook more visibly when she neared. "Like, look, maybe we should, uh, vote or something like that."

"Vote?" Lilly stood up straight. "What?"

"It would be better than randomly accusing someone!" Travis shouted.

"We need to look at the facts!" Carley joined him. "Let's calm down, let's eat, and we will deal with it."

"Yeah." Ben nodded quick. "Let’s do that."

"With what food?" Lilly's voice got louder with each word. "We lost EVERYTHING, do you not GET THAT?!"

“Lilly!” Lee shouted. “Calm down.”

For only five seconds no one said anything as Lilly tried to calm herself. 

"I’m sorry, um- can't we wait until. . ." Ben hesitated, eyeing the bandages that stained red as Sharon touched it. ". . .that is uh, dealt with?"

"I agree with Ben." Travis sighed.

“I’d really like to unwrap this and use the disinfectant." Sharon said, her hands still. “If he gets sepsis I don’t know what we can do for him, can we talk about this after that?”

Lilly took in a breath, slowly looking between three on the couch. "Was it all three of you?"

"What?" They all said in unison.

Lilly let go of the sink and placed her hand on the wall closest to Travis. “I’ve seen you leave her room at night, I’ve seen Sharon leave theirs-”

“We’re friends.” Sharon rolled her eyes. “And I sleep-walked _once_.”

"I've seen you three together, right now you're in the middle of them!" 

Sharon patted down the last strip of gauze. "Do you think I’m this close to them because I want to?"

Travis directed his eyes to Sharon, lightly pulling himself away. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"That's not what I-"

Travis, with his free hand, batted Sharon’s hands off of him and readjusted his shirt. He scooted to the right, although he couldn’t get any closer to the wall.

“Lilly, stop waving a finger at everybody.” Lee said. “We know something’s going on and we can get to the bottom of it if we keep our heads.”

“I know what we found and unless you have your suspicions, then I say _IT’S HER_!”

Travis reeled back. "Can you not shout in my fucking ears?"

"Hey, hey-" Lee placed himself between the two, forcing Lilly to grab back on to the counter behind her. "This is getting out of hand!"

"We don't need to argue." Sharon said, directing it to Travis yet hoping Lilly would agree. "We can talk about this without shouting."

“Look, just let me out.” Ben held himself tighter. “I didn’t do it, but I don’t like this; I don’t like where this is headed.”

Lilly outstretched her arm still on the wall, face to face with Ben. "You look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t have anything to do with it."

"Lilly, lay off of him." Carley tried.

"I-"

_SLAM!_

Everyone gripped whatever was attached to the RV to stop themselves from losing balance or toppling over as their world rumbled and shook. 

Lilly placed herself in the hallway between the rest of the group and the front seats. "What's going on out there?" 

"I hit something." Kenny groaned, instinctively switching on his hazard lights. "We gotta stop!"

"Alright." Lilly turned to face the group, her scowl returning when Sharon entered her view. "Well, we can deal with this now, then."

As Kenny slowed the vehicle stop Lilly stood at the doorway, hand on the handle and waiting. "Everybody out." She ordered, already out of the door before Lee could stop her. "OUT." 

Carley was the first out, pacing close to the forest and sighing loudly as everyone filed out behind her. On her right stood Travis and Ben with Lilly already looking under the RV, on her left Sharon leaned against the vehicle and Lee stood by her side, both of their arms crossed.

Lilly waited until Kenny had stepped out of the vehicle to start speaking. "Kenny, the RV has some surface damage, but there's a walker trapped underneath."

"God dammit." Kenny swore, kneeling down to look at the problem. "Everyone, keep your eyes peeled."

Lilly stood in the center of the arc that the five had created around the doorway and turned her attention to Sharon. "You know what, we shouldn't just kick you out. We should hear what everybody thinks."

“I think you should chill out.” Ben shook.

"You know what I think?" Travis said, even though Lilly didn't look his direction. "I think you're fucking crazy." 

"Travis- L-Lilly, this isn't necessary." Sharon unknowingly wiped blood in her dirty-blonde hair as she ran a hand through it. "Jesus, haven't we been through enough already?"

"This _IS_ NECESSARY!" Lilly spun to see everyone's reactions, pausing at Lee. "Are you all not listening to what I'm saying?"

"Lilly, we get it." Lee said, facing his palms towards her. "We won't-"

"Are you sure you get it?" Lilly gestured around her. "No one else is doing anyth-"

_"God, this dumb fuck walker!"_

As everyone turned to face the front of the vehicle Sharon pushed herself away from it, standing by Carley with the forest at her back and Lilly at more than an arms distance away.

"Are you okay over there?" Lee asked.

"Yeah yeah. . ." Kenny mumbled back.

Lilly turned away from Kenny, quickly eyeing Sharon in her new spot between Carley and Ben. "You all have no other option. You can tell me it's Sharon and everything will be right as rain."

"Leave her alone." Carley demanded.

"There is no way it was her." Lee stepped up. "It was somebody else. It could've even been someone sneaking into our camp."

"That's ridiculous. That's what you think?" Lilly scoffed, frowning when Lee nodded. "Okay, fine then. . . Kenny?"

"I don't know! Fuck!" Kenny yelled back. "Just, stop, would ya?!"

"Well, your vote counts for you and Katjaa!" Lilly called.

Lee opened his mouth to mention the woman who stole Clementine’s hat that he met in the woods.

"We don't need all these VOTES!" Ben screamed. "What do we have to do for you to STOP this? I'll do ANYTHING!"

"Ben." Travis attempted to elbow him, though with his injury he instead grunted. "Calm down."

"I'll-I'll do watches for a month." 

"Ha." Lilly rolled her eyes. "The hell you would."

"I-I'll get more food." He tried. "More medicine, just-"

"DO YOU THINK ANY OF THAT IS GOOD NOW?" Lilly screamed, watching as Ben visibly recoiled and shook. "God, you're pathetic."

Travis felt blinded, pushing Ben behind him and taking a step towards the woman. “Fuck you, Lilly! You can't IMAGINE the shit we've been through! You-"

"Guys! Arguing like this is just going to make things worse, we need to calm down." Sharon tried, raising her still bloody hands. "Let's just go back inside and cool off."

"Do we need any more evidence than this?!" Lilly gestured to her.

"Fuck EVIDENCE!" Carley shouted, stepping in front of Sharon. "Stop treating them like this!"

"Shut up, Carley! I've heard enough out of you!" Lilly eyed the front of the RV. "Kenny! What's it going to be?"

Kenny sighed loudly. "Just give me a damn minute!"

"Ben, Travis. You two have until that walker is dealt with to tell me it was HER and not you!"

At that Sharon eyed Ben, when he noticed she nodded. In response He shook his head roughly and closed his eyes.

Carley, not seeing the exchange, continued. "Stop this! You're torturing them!"

"This is about trust, and I've never trusted her!" Lilly pointed. "She shown up out of the blue outside the inn! She never talks about her past! She's ALWAYS trying to leave but SOMETHING is keeping her back!" Lilly dropped her arm and looked around the group. "The deal with the BANDITS!"

“Please, let’s just get back in the RV.” Ben pleaded.

“That’s not happening.”

Sharon sighed. "Say it. Just do it."

"Say what?!" Travis exclaimed.

"She'll kick us out of the group!" Ben shut his eyes again.

"We won't." Lee tried. "We'll understand."

"Just tell her it was me." Sharon demanded, roughly crossing her arms. 

"Tell me." Lilly demanded. "NOW."

Lee tried to get in between the crazed woman and the teens. "Lilly this is getting out of hand-"

Lilly ignored both of them, shoving herself away from Lee. "DO IT."

Sharon felt her world go red. "Lilly just STOP!" She felt her face flare up. "If you hate me so much why didn't you just shoot me in your room when you had the chance?" 

Lilly took a step away from Lee, her back only a few inches from the RV.

"I'm sorry about your dad but that does NOT give you an excuse to treat people like garbage! My girlfriend left me for dead then right after that I had to KILL a baby boy after he got bit, I took care of him like he was my own son.” 

Sharon took a deep breath. 

“My parents neglected me until I was six, I had a younger brother and sister, and I'm five-six. There, I talked about my past, so give me a god damn break!"

_Squish!_

Everyone aside from Lilly turned, watching as Kenny did one more final stomp to the walker's head. "There! I got 'im! Now, what the fuck's-"

"LOOK OUT!"

"SHARON!"

_**BANG!**_

Sharon tumbled backwards, the wet grass did nothing to soften the ground beneath her as her back hit the dirt.

"Oh my god. . ." 

She opened her eyes to see the night sky, her ears still ringing from the shot that happened right next to her ear, above her Carley stood with her gun still aimed at the RV.

"Lilly?" 

"Holy fuck."

Katjaa shouted from inside the RV. "KENNY, what's happening?" 

"Jesus CHRIST! Keep Duck away from the- " Kenny turned to the RV, promptly slamming the doors in both Duck's and Clem's face. "What the FUCK happened?"

Eyes looked to Carley while her's are wide and glued down the ironsights. Kenny's hand brushed over his own gun, though he dropped it when Lee approached the woman and slowly pulled the weapon from her grip.

"Are you okay?" Lee said, lowering the gun. 

Carley let out the breath she was holding, breathing harder until Lee pulled her into an embrace.

"She just. . . Lilly was going to shoot her." Ben mumbled. "She was going to kill her."

"Shit." Kenny sighed, picking up Lilly's pistol from the ground and looking past Lee and Carley’s feet, eyes wide at the young woman still laying on the ground. "Sharon- crap, you alright over there?"

“I. . .” Her gaze stayed glued to the stars, although it was a cloudy night she could see every one. “ _I almost left her again._ ”

Kenny walked over and inspected her body in the moonlight, no blood aside from Travis’s, just wide unblinking eyes. “C’mon girl, we gotta get inside.”

Sharon grasped onto Kenny’s hand, allowing him to help her off the ground and to the door. When he opened it Duck and Clementine quickly back away quietly.

“Come on everybody.” Kenny called, leading Sharon up the stairs. “We don’t wanna stick around to see who heard that noise.”

Sharon pulled away from him and held onto the counter, hanging her head as she leant over her bag.

Travis and Ben were the next inside, both silent as they continued to the back and taking a seat on both sides of the booth. Lee followed after them and opted to stand and wait by the door as Carley stepped up, quickly shutting the door behind her as the RV jerked foreword. She opened her mouth though before she could say anything Katjaa spoke up. 

_"Lee, a word please?"_

Carley closed her mouth and nodded, she brushed past Lee to sit silently with both Clementine and Duck on the couch.

Lee approached the cab as quiet as both Katjaa and Kenny are.

After a few long moments of hushed whispering Lee turned and faced the rest of the group, eyes landing on each person. “Duck, your parents. . . uh. . ." He squinted when the boy didn’t react to him. "Duck?”

Duck didn't seem to notice, picking at a hole in his pants and only making it worse as he slowly pulled the fibers apart.

“DUCK.”

The boy whipped his head up.

“Your mom and dad want to talk with you.”

Duck got up, quickly squeezing himself past Lee and sitting in between his parents on the ground. Lee shrugged and continued through the vehicle, once he neared Sharon he cleared his throat.

“Sharon, I need to talk with you and the boys-”

Sharon quickly pulled a napkin out of her pocket- where a clean cloth napkin came from is beyond him- and pressed it to her face. The cloth muffled any sounds she didn’t want anyone else to hear, all aside from Lee.

“Are you okay?”

Pulling the napkin away from her face she balled it up and stuffed it back in her pocket, her voice strained as she tried to speak. “No, Lee, I’m not.”

Lee shut his mouth, slowly following behind Sharon as she made her way to the back, Ben scooted over for her and sat in the middle, the three looked up to older man and waited.

Travis noticed Lee’s hesitation and sighed. "What's wrong now?"

 

_"Katjaa is. . .”_

 

Sharon wanted to scream, she wanted to shout and cry and tell Lee to leave, she wanted to curse and rip her hair out. The blood in her veins turned to ice and boiled in her chest.

 

"Katjaa got bit, back at the motor inn."

 

“What?!” Travis covered his mouth. “When- oh fuck. . .”

Sharon could feel something wrong. Fingertips went numb and skin didn’t feel like her own as she balled it into fists, like someone was moving her hands for her. Slowly the world around her turned hazy and a static texture appeared.

“. . . What are we going to do?” Ben asked, doing a double take when he saw the blank look in the young woman’s eyes next to him.

Lee leaned on the counter next to him. "Kat is going to keep an eye on the bite but we are keeping the same plan, we're heading East."

Sharon didn’t even know when Lee had left or how long Travis had been asking her if she’s okay. At some point Ben had started muttering to himself.

“Guys, it’s going to be okay-”

“No, it’s not.” Ben propped his head in his hands. 

Sharon tried to copy his movements, leaning forward and bringing her palms to her face, though her head continued down her arms and hit the table with hands hanging limp. _“Oh my god.”_

“Sharon I. . .” Ben shook his head. “Oh god, Sharon this is all my fault.”

“Your fault?” Both Sharon and Travis said in unison, though in different volumes.

“No, this is my fault.” Sharon’s breath misted the table. “I could have done more, I could have told everyone, I could have told everyone-”

“Told everyone? About what?”

“We killed Lilly.” Ben barely suppressed a sob. “We killed Katjaa.”

Sharon’s fingernails found her scalp. “Oh god, what have I done?” As Sharon muttered to herself she yanked on her hair. “What have I done, what have I done-”

“Woah, woah.” Travis reached out across the table with his good arm and stopped Sharon from hurting herself, inadvertently tangling his own fingers in her already tangled hair. “This isn’t- what- just stop-”

“God I’m such an idiot, why didn’t I just say something sooner?” Ben crossed his arms and buried his face in his sleeves. “I can’t believe-”

“Ben, Sharon.” Travis looked to him, his face scrunched then softened at hearing both of the two openly crying in front of him.

The growing puddle of tears started to get Travis’s sleeve wet. With a curse under his breath he reached out with his bad arm, momentarily retracting as pain shot through his shoulder. He tried again and pushed through, grabbing on to Ben’s hand.

“Guys, it’s going to be alright.” Travis said, though he couldn’t tell if either of his friends heard him. “We’ll be fine, we’ve survived this long we can keep going. . ."

None of them replied, neither of them even squeezed his hand. He had so many questions yet nothing would give answers while they are like this.

"I’m- I. . . I don’t know what to say.”

His words went in one ear and out the other, Sharon couldn’t think of anything aside from the fact that Lilly’s blood is splattered all over the side of the RV right behind her, and it’s all her fault. Katjaa is bitten and it’s all her fault. Duck and Clementine no longer have place to sleep, Travis is hurt, and they are _getting closer to Lisa_.

And it's All. Her. Fault.

 

 

When Sharon's eyes dried up her sleeves were still damp, the hand that was in hers had slipped off and now rested on her jacket sleeves. Both boys are silent along with the rest of the group that occupied the RV, aside from light snoring.

Sharon rubbed the dent in her forehead, then rolled up her damp sleeves. She tried to ignore the puddle of liquid on the table.

Looking around; Carley surprisingly sat far from Lee at the whole other end of the couch with Clementine in between them. Further ahead Duck laid down on the floor between his mother's and father's seats, from here Sharon could see Kenny is still awake and driving though Katjaa is out of sight.

Carefully Sharon stretched her back and didn't stop until her spine stopped cracking. Scooting off the seat she encouraging Travis to lay down instead of slouching over the table, he moaned and allowed her to help him down.

He didn’t seem to be losing more blood, the bandages had bled through but not enough to raise concern. His skin is still warm and pink so Sharon let him be and walked away.

Her second stop is the sink, digging through her bag and taking a quick note of the supplies she still has left. Enough food to last a week only if everyone eats one meal a day, not enough water to use all of the noodles and packet food, not enough water to keep everyone hydrated. It’s the same situation back at the inn, except they can't collect rainwater here and nobody knows that she has all of these supplies. 

Just after the attacks the group agreed to split the food: one stache in Lilly’s room and one stache in the RV, which means they should have enough rations to last a little after they reach Savannah along with Sharon’s supply. Knowing this she dropped her shoulders, though now she will need an excuse to having a third stache that no one aside from Ben knows about.

Sighing, Sharon pushed aside her unicorn pajamas and unzipped a little pouch behind it. The little jar of baby food remained sealed and clean, just looking at it reminded her of Brandon and Lisa.

Lisa used to hold out two jars, one of a random flavor and another of peas and carrots. When Brandon would pick the peas and carrots Lisa would put down the other flavor and replace it with another, switching it around and letting him pick again. He'd always pick the peas and carrots.

Sharon suddenly reached for the edges of the counter, balancing herself as the RV shook, it wasn’t as forceful as the walker they hit from earlier, this was just a bump in the road. Nearing the front Sharon braced herself in the hallway, narrowly avoiding Duck’s sleeping body at her feet.

Katjaa looked normal despite what has happened, a little pale and still bloody from the attack making Sharon feel guilty that she never offered to clean her up. She faced her window so Sharon couldn’t get a good look at her face. Opposite her, Kenny had dirt lining his arms and shirt, he squinted as if the dark streets are too bright to see.

Getting closer she thought maybe he doesn’t notice her, then he eyed her in the rear view mirror. “What’re you doin’ up? Go back to sleep.” He muttered, returning his eyes to the road.

“Kenny I had watch last night, you’ve been awake longer than me.” Sharon whispered. "You want me to drive?"

"No. . ." He shook his head. "I got it. . ."

"Are you sure? I can drive, I can handle an RV."

Kenny hesitated for a minute before lifting his foot off the pedal and pulling over to the side of the road, switching on the hazard lights robotically. He turned and got out of the seat, carefully letting Sharon squeeze by as he sat down on the ground next to Duck. The boy didn't stir as his father sat down beside him.

"Avoid all cities, turn around if you start seeing three story buildings. Head North if you can’t go East." Kenny whispered. “Keep an eye on that gas tank, let me know if it gets close to empty and we'll find somewhere to fill up.”

"I understand."

“Don’t be afraid to wake me up if you see something suspicious, anything. We're screwed if we run in to any spike traps.” His words devolved into yawns. “And uh. . . be slow around corners, don’t go over fifty. . . the front end looks longer than it is.”

Sharon nodded, buckling her seatbelt and adjusting the seat under Kenny’s watch. She shifted gears and checked the mirrors, eyes lingering over Katjaa.

Kenny cleared his throat. “You still know the way to Savannah?”

“Of course.”

She waited until Kenny laid down to take her foot off the breaks, slowly pulling away from the side of the road. She turned the hazard lights off and checked the mirrors, silently wishing that she'd lifted the back shades before she sat down.

It took a moment for her to divert all attention to driving, her mind focusing Katjaa sitting in the passenger seat, her seat belt strapping her into place. It’s hard to see her in the darkness yet easy to see her pale white skin contrasting with the darker interior. Aside from the bloody head wound she looked fine, just sick, like she could pull through this.

Sharon quickly lifted her foot off the gas, narrowly avoiding the walker in the road without stirring the sleeping passengers. The speedometer read fifty as she slowed down, meaning she was over the speed that Kenny had told her to stay under. 

Swerving again, Sharon avoided the vast amount of abandoned cars and stray walkers on the road, maintaining a low speed while still going fast enough to make good distance. She slowed even more, eyes straining to read the passing street sign, Sharon looked around at the dashboard and radio, eyes squinting at the old displays.

As there seems to be no clock in sight, Sharon could only assume that either: Kenny has had trouble finding clear roads to drive on and they hadn't made much distance, or she had been asleep or 'zoned out' for about two hours.

Normally the drive to Savannah would take around three hours, depending on the traffic. In her notebook is a page wholly dedicated to how much time it would have taken to walk there, a week if she's lucky, a week and a half if she has to scavenge for food, two weeks if she is slower than she thought, three weeks if she is just really bad at math. The page dedicated to travelling by RV had been scrapped, already thrown in the camp fire the night before.

Off hand she guessed five hours from here, avoiding highways and big cities wont be too bad as long as there's nothing blocking the way, speed limits are no longer enforced aside from Kenny so she doesn't have to go twenty-five in a school zone. Five hours sounds right.

Five hours to Savannah. Five hours to a boat. Five hours to get the kids to safety.

Five hours to get to Lisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day! Celebrate it by suffering with me :)
> 
> In addition to this chapter I made a tumblr page for this fic! There's only two posts so far (And I can't get asks to work, but submissions work) So if you have any questions or want to see me rant about Season 2 you can stop by!
> 
> I explain what took this chapter so long in the tumblr post, but in case y'all don't have one: The chapter I had originally written got deleted in the process of reformatting my PC, so I had to re-write it a second time. Honestly the quality isn't as good but I really just want to continue foreword.
> 
> Here is the link: https://sharonitwd.tumblr.com/


	14. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You never want to watch someone die,

It had been a few hours until Sharon could see without headlights on, the direction she faced got lighter and lighter as time passed and the sky behind her stayed a dark shade of blue. The clouds turned orange before the sky did.

Sharon's eyes begged to shut, the rare sight of the sky helped her stay awake though driving had become painfully boring and uneventful. At any sign of a large city she’d have to turn back or find a way to get around it, leading the vehicle further and further through Georgia's never ending farm lands and woods. 

It was on this road that she deemed too far to backtrack through, if not for her own sanity then for the gas tank, it has also led them too far North for her comfort. She feared Kenny would wake up and find another city by the coast to go to, probably in South Carolina, then tell her to go _there_ instead of Savannah.

She hoped she was hallucinating again when something seemed to be blocking the path far up ahead, she feared this road may be a dead end as the vehicle neared the large structure. The gas dial read too close to empty to turn back now, unless this blockage in impossible to move then this RV will keep going East until someone rips the wheel from her hands.

Someone stirred in their sleep, Sharon eyed Katjaa then Kenny and released the breath she was holding when both didn't move. Lee stood from the couch and turned towards the front, they locked eyes in the rear-view mirror. 

"Good morning." Sharon spoke softly, lightly clearing her throat. "There's something up ahead."

Lee stepped around Kenny and Duck to look through the windshield, whispering good morning as he leaned forward. 

He squinted, leaning closer to the window. “Looks like a train.”

“Crap.”

Lee pressed his lips together and blinked a few times. “Uh, we should probably turn around then.”

“Unless you have spare gas on you, we’re not turning around.”

Lee looked out the corner of his eyes and pulled his brows downwards, he stayed quiet.

She noticed. “Look, about earlier-”

“Is now really the best time?”

“Lee, I’m talking about back at the inn.” Sharon’s eyes stayed glued to the road, pretending she needed to focus to avoid eye contact. “I’m sorry for. . . how I reacted.”

It took him a second. “Oh.”

“I thought-” _we talked_ “-it over and that was really terrible of me to do. You’re a good guy, and I heard you took a few punches from Andy for me. You didn’t deserve how I treated you.”

“Oh." Lee smiled. "Well, thanks.”

She turned, glad to see him smile but couldn't muster the strength to return it. “I was going to say that earlier, but, y’know.”

“I understand.”

Someone else stirred awake, Kenny sighed loudly from below. “I ain’t enjoying this view, Lee.”

Lee quickly stood up straight, backing out of the narrow hallway to make room for the man under him to stand.

Kenny sat up. “What do we got?” He muttered, his voice dull. 

“A train.” Sharon replied, pulling her foot from the gas pedal. “I don’t see any way around it.”

“ _Great._ ” Kenny whispered.

His eyes suddenly darted to his wife. Though Katjaa tried to stay awake through the ride her eyes shut closed, her skin had turned a few shades pale overnight.

“Is she-”

“No, Kenny.” Katjaa whispered, her eyes stayed shut. “I’m still here.”

As the RV slowed to a stop life sprouted around the RV; Duck stayed silent, sitting up with his head leaning on to his mother’s lap. Clementine got up and hovered by Lee. Carley stood as well, though she stayed close to the walls. Ben lifted his head from the table but didn’t look away from it.

Travis groaned loudly. "God, what time is it?"

"Katjaa, are you okay to walk?" Sharon asked, pulling the keys out from the ignition to coast the rest of the way to the train and looking over the sickly woman in worry.

"Yes sweetie, I'm fine." 

Once the RV stopped; Kenny, Lee, and Carley stepped outside. 

"Now that we stopped, do you want me to clean up your head?" Sharon whispered, watching as the three armed adults stood around in front of the RV.

"No, a wet rag would be nice, but we shouldn't. . ." Kat looked down at her son sitting silently by her side. " _-Waste_ supplies."

Kenny opened the door and Lee followed behind him.

"Okay, we're gonna break here until we can figure something out." Kenny announced, finding and tucking his gun in his pants. “We should probably have a few people stay inside, in case shit goes bad out there.” 

Katjaa opened her door, she only stared through the opening. 

“Actually.” Sharon unbuckled her seat belt and stood up, gaining everyone’s attention. “I have to disinfect Travis’s wound, it’s probably infected by now so it’s going to be. . . loud. . . in here.”

Travis groaned again.

“Alright then, everybody out.” Kenny flung open the door, rushing to his wife's side to help her get out. Duck followed closely behind.

Lee pulled his bag out of one of the cupboards and put it on, handing a small pink one to Clementine and holding on to Carley's purse. He also took Kenny’s bag and tried to escort everybody out, aside from Travis and Sharon.

“Actually, I’m going to need Ben’s help.” Sharon said, watching as Lee instead walked around Ben and left, the door shut with a loud click and they were alone.

“What do I need to do?” Ben asked, watching from the doorway as Sharon pulled out her medical supplies.

“You need to talk.” Sharon said, placing the bottle of disinfectant on the table and a fresh roll of bandages. “Now that we are alone, we need to tell Travis why the bandits attacked us.”

“What?” Ben paled. “But-”

“‘But’ nothing.” Travis spat. “This is going to hurt really fucking bad and if I don’t hear about what you two have been hiding from me: I’m going to fucking hurt someone.”

Travis with Sharon’s help took off his jacket, though he refused to take off his shirt. She allowed this and sat on the rickety table, he watched closely as she doused a cotton ball with the clear liquid and hovered it over the entry wound.

He tore his eyes away from it and gave Ben a cold stare. “From the beginning.”

 

 

Clementine flinched at the muffled screaming, eyes glued to the RV door. Kenny winced at the sound but he didn’t pay mind to it, his full attention on his wife.

“Clementine, sweetie.” Katjaa spoke, her weak voice hardly overpowered Travis’s pained wails. “You shouldn’t be listening to that.”

“It’s hard not to.” Clem replied, picking at the grass she sat on. 

Travis stopped screaming. Clem looked back up at the RV, eyes attached to the splatter of dark red blood, Lilly's. She wondered if the blood is dark because it is old or if it's not light out enough to see the color from where she sat.

Kat moaned, her hand hovering over the dark red spot over her shoulder, Clementine turned and eyed Kat's blood soaked blouse. The little girl tried to say something but her words didn't feel right in her mouth. 

“It’s okay.” Kat said, resting her hands in her lap. “You can say it.”

The screaming started again, this time it sounded like he was trying to hold back.

“Does it hurt?”

Kenny and Duck looked up for the response.

“Yes, it does.” Katjaa slowly blinked. “The bite doesn’t hurt as bad as it did before and I’m feeling a little dehydrated. But it stings a little, aches, it feels warm.”

The RV went silent.

“Warm?” Clem asked.

“Yes, it feels like I just have a really bad cold.”

“Maybe it _is_ just a bad cold.” Duck muttered. “You’ll just get better and everything will be okay, right?”

Katjaa and Kenny both looked to one another, Kenny only closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Oh, Ducky. That’s not how it works.”

“We don’t know that." Duck said. "Maybe you’ll get better, maybe-”

Kenny stopped him, eyes still shut. “Duck, she’s not-”

The RV door slammed open and cut off all conversation. Sharon stepped down with her crossbow in her arms and backpack strapped tight, Ben followed close behind her looking downcast. Travis stumbled out of the doorway with clunky movements, Katjaa could almost see the storm cloud over his head.

“Sharon!” Clem stood and rushed to the young woman’s side, Ben and Travis continued foreword. “Is he going to be okay?”

Sharon let go of her weapon with one hand and let it drift to her side. “It’s infected, so I’ll have to regularly clean it. If he gets a fever I don’t know what we can do to help him.”

“Oh.” Clem's face fell to her feet.

“But, it will be okay.” Sharon kneeled, making eye contact with the little girl. “Travis is healthy, with a lot of rest he should be better soon.”

“That’s good.” Clem didn’t smile. “What about Katjaa?”

Sharon purposely put Kat out of her mind ever since she sat in the driver's seat, the fact the almost motherly figure of the whole group being bitten hit her full force.

“Kat. . ." _Is going to turn._ "Is strong too. She. . .” Sharon tried to think of anything else to say to the little girl, anything that will put light on the situation, anything that will tell her everything will be okay.

Clem frowned, shoving her hands in her sweatshirt pocket. “She said she’s thirsty, do you have anything to drink?”

The few water bottles stacked at the bottom of her bag suddenly felt heavier, along with the supplies that she's told nobody she has. Ben and Travis agreed not to say anything about the bandits and her midnight supply runs out to the city, meaning she has a lot of supplies in her bag that she needs an excuse for having. 

“Not right now, but I can look for one.” Sharon lied. “How about you go sit back down, okay?”

Clem nodded. “Okay.”

“And. . . I’m sorry that girls night was cancelled. I’ll make it up to you.”

Clem didn’t reply, turning around and slowly walking back to the fallen logs, placing herself back on the grass by Katjaa. Travis sat furthest away from everyone at the other end of the log Kenny sat on, scowling at the train with his hands in his pockets. Carley leaned against a tree and stared into the forest, sometimes glancing at Katjaa. Ben and Lee remained out of sight, occasionally appearing from behind the train.

Sharon finally closed the RV door and decided to inspect the train for ‘ _new_ ’ supplies. The engine car and one partially empty storage car remained intact, the rest behind it had been derailed and mangled up in mountains of metal. How this wreck happened is beyond her.

Nothing looked salvageable here so she turned and followed the tracks, pausing and recoiling for a moment as the train seemed to hiss at her. Kenny shot up and jogged inside the engine car, the last figment of his hope being spent on compressed air being released from the brakes. 

Sharon ignored the training and continued rounding the front of the train, spotting a damaged car embedded in a tree with a walker still strapped in the passenger seat. After a moment of staring Ben joined her, dragging an old corpse with him.

“This is like, the second dead body I’ve touched today.” Ben shuddered, brushing his hands together once the body was pulled away from the tracks. “What’re you doing?”

Sharon opened the car door and made sure her crossbow is ready for firing. “I’m not supposed to have this many supplies, so I’m going to kill this walker and say that everything I have in my bag I got from this car.” 

“Okay, do you need help with-”

She easily killed the walker with a single arrow through the eye socket, reaching in and yanking her arrow free with little resistance, though her ammo smelled rancid now.

“Nevermind then, I’ll be inside the train.”

Sharon peered inside the car, the smell of the walker burned her nose but the sight of animal crackers and a bar of chocolate by the walker's feet she held her breath. She quickly pulled her body out of the car and stuffed both items in her pocket, she didn't bother to hold her crossbow with both hands as she returned. 

Clementine took the chocolate and split it in half, Duck didn’t smile but accepted his half anyways. When offered the animal crackers Travis rolled his eyes and snatched it from Sharon. 

Sharon dropped her bag in front of Katjaa and Dug through the bottom of her bag, pulling out a bottle of water. “How. . .” She started, handing Katjaa bottle. "How are you?”

"Thank you, darling.” Katjaa struggled to twist the cap, Sharon quickly reached out and cracked it open for her. “The bite is swollen and stings. . . I'm mostly tired though." She took small sips.

Sharon dug through some smaller pockets on her bag. "How is your head?" She asked, offering Kat a white cloth napkin.

Kat took the napkin and doused it with water, slowly bringing it to her head. "It's fine, it looks worse than it is." She paused, looking at the bottle then back to Sharon. "Where did you find this? In the train?"

"I found a car on the other side with some groceries." Sharon lied.

Katjaa lifted her head, Sharon turned and followed her gaze. Ben sulked towards them, his feet dragging as he left the train.

"Did Kenny kick you out?" Travis asked.

Ben sat down in a huff, only a few inches away from his friend. “Yeah, he told me to look after you guys.”

Travis scoffed though he didn’t say anything else, instead extending his arm over to offer some of the animal crackers to Ben. 

" _I'm the one who's been to a shooting range and they send him to watch us_." Carley muttered. " _Typical._ "

Sharon zipped up her bag and looked to Carley, the brooding woman only shook her head and returned her stare to the woods. 

"So what's the plan?" Travis asked, looking to the train. "Move it out of the way?"

Sharon shrugged and put her backpack on, standing in front of the boys as they talked.

"I don't know." Ben shrugged, popping a giraffe shaped cracker in his mouth. "Maybe we can get it running again."

"I thought that trains were really hard to get started." Sharon said, the boys looked up at her. "Like, they leave a lot of trains running indefinitely because it's _really_ hard to get it running again."

"What are you, a train specialist?" Travis asked.

"No, I just watched a lot of History Channel." Sharon tried to smile, Katjaa in the corner of her eye prevented that. "I _was_ a cashier."

Travis shrugged one arm. "I was a cashier once, I kept arguing with the customers so I had to work in the back."

"Wait, I thought your dad was in the army, or something." Ben said. "Didn't army guys make a lot of money?"

"He was in Special Forces." Travis shrugged. "I was living at _his_ house rent-free, that meant I had to get a job. Besides, I only worked part time starting freshman year."

"My parents were low on money after they had my sister so I had to work before freshman year." Sharon said. "After my job as a cashier I got a full-time job at the church." 

"Really?" Ben dropped his shoulders. "I've only helped out on a goat farm a few times."

Travis smiled. "You'd come to school and still smell like goat shit."

_"Swear."_

The three turned to face Clementine, confused. She looked up as well when their conversation didn't continue. 

"You said a swear."

"Oh, uh. . ." Travis stumbled for something to say.

"He's sorry Clem." Sharon assured.

Travis rolled his eyes. "Anyway. . ." 

“You worked in a church?” Katjaa's voice scratched against her throat, she tried to clear it but the scratch remained. “Doing what?”

“Anything I could do, really. I'd sing sometimes. I was usually the youngest one there so they only really needed an able body. That didn’t stop me from taking over some of their work."

“Were you going to be a priest or something?” Travis asked.

“Don’t you mean a nun?” Ben said.

Sharon continued. “No, I wasn’t. I mostly took care of all their decorations, planning, cleaning, cooking.”

Travis squinted. “You make it sound like you wanted to work.”

She shrugged. “Well I liked the people at the church and what they stood for, so I was pretty inclined to help them.”

“I hated everyone at work and everyone at work hated me.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “You had to work with a few crappy coworkers, have you ever been headbutted by a goat?”

“No, but I’ve been headbutted by Duck.”

At the mention of Duck the three looked over, silently staring at Duck glued to his mother’s side. It almost felt eerie to be this close to him yet his voice isn't in the air.

“So, uh-” Sharon cleared her throat.

Thankfully Lee approached the group from the train, a large light brown object in his hand. "Hey you guys, I found this in the train." Lee held out a guitar, all strings intact and the wood looked in good condition. "Anyone play?"

Sharon reached out, Lee handed it over to her and watched her inspect it. "Yeah, but I sang mostly." She plucked a few strings and grimaced with each wrong note.

"How about the rest of you?" Lee asked, looking to those who were paying attention. "Play any instruments?"

"Trumpet." Ben spoke.

Sharon sat down next to Ben, her fingers ran up the neck of the guitar and moved the dials around, plucking the strings in a pattern.

"I played the snare drum in Band." Travis said, mid-chew of his chocolate.

Katjaa hummed. "I used to play violin when I was in school, but that was long ago."

Sharon strummed lightly, quickly adjusting the pegs the second her fingers left the strings.

Clementine shook her head. 

Lee smiled. “Well, a few odd instruments and some vocals? We got ourselves a band.” Lee’s face fell when he looked to Duck hoping for a reaction, Duck didn't even look their direction and Carley didn't either.

Sharon finally strummed the guitar loud enough for all to hear, it wasn’t completely in tune as she would have liked it. It took her only seconds of finger placement for her to find a calming tune to play.

Travis tilted his head. “Wait, I thought you needed some kind of device to do that right?” 

“Usually. I’ve had a lot practice with tuning.” Sharon shrugged, struggling to hit the right notes with her uneven fingernails. 

Her distraction cut short. Katjaa was no longer easy to ignore as reality came back. Even the strumming and plucking became too easy, the occasional re-tuning of a string helped.

Lee turned to face Ben and Travis, he squinted at them suddenly. "Where did you two get animal crackers?"

The two boys froze wide eyed mid bite, looking over to Sharon.

"She got it from a car nearby." Katjaa spoke up.

"Yeah, they had groceries so I loaded it all in my bag." Sharon nodded.

Lee hummed. "Mind if I see?"

Sharon tried to calm herself as she shrugged off her bag. He wants to count it, see how long they can make it off the few supplies left, or maybe he wants to make sure she isn't lying. She held her breath as he opened the bag wide, sifting through cans and bottles. She could see the folded up brown bags from where she sat, the same ones she'd give to the bandits.

"Nice." Lee pulled out a can, one with a tab for easy opening. "That should last us a few days, if we ration it. Mind if we do that now?"

Sharon shrugged. "I don't want anyone to eat any of the meat uncooked, so just do fruits for now."

Lee took out a few cans and sighed. "Didn't think I'd be handing out rations again."

Sharon tried to offer advice, she closed her mouth when she remembered that her mind hasn't been focusing on who around the inn was eating and when anymore. Instead she continued strumming the guitar.

As Lee stacked the cans of fruits on the ground he looked back up to the boys. "I was wondering; you uh, happy you two stayed with us all this time?"

"It's with you guys or dead." Ben shrugged.

"If Sharon wouldn't have gotten in front of Mark's gun, I don't think I would be alive." Travis said, looking over waiting for her to notice. She didn't. "I just wish Kenny didn't hold that against me."

"What about you Sharon?" Sharon palmed the strings, watching as Lee zipped up the bag. "Are you happy you stayed?"

"Well. . ." Sharon sighed, looking around. "I don’t know, I just keep thinking about Lisa and how she’s miles away, she could have left Savannah by now." She stared at the ground, returning to playing.

All the guys kept their mouth, the name Lisa had become familiar but not enough to know how to talk about it.

Lee looked around and changed the subject, eyeing the bloodstain on the RV. "Are you all okay after what happened with Lilly?”

"She screamed at us then tried to kill one of us." Travis crossed one arm. “Carley did the right thing.”

"I don't know." Ben shrugged. "She was really angry, is Carley okay?"

Lee turned his head, meeting eyes with her. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Lee turned back, eyeing Travis carefully. “I thought you two were a couple or something.”

“Wait, you know?”

“Uh, we do now.”

Ben snorted.

Lee narrowed his eyes and held the cans in his arms. “It’s not like it’s a secret, but yeah, we are.”

Lee quickly turned away from them, arms still holding the food as he walked to Carley. Travis smiled, a smug grin on his face. 

He stuffed both hands in his pockets, straining to adjust his right arm. "Wait." Travis patted his right jacket pocket, then his left. "No, no, fuck-"

"What's wrong?" Ben asked, scooting away as Travis flew to his feet.

"It- it's not-" Travis pulled the insides of his pockets out, letting loose pocket fuzz. He patted every pocket he could think of having.

"Is something wrong?" Katjaa asked.

"Her phone, it's not in my pocket." Travis tucked in his pockets and checked it again, pausing suddenly with wide eyes. "I think I left it- I-I think it's back on my bed."

Carley and Lee stopped talking.

"What's back on your bed?" Sharon set the guitar down. "Travis, calm down-"

Travis faced the RV. "No! We have to go back!"

"Go back?" Sharon stood, blocking Travis's way. "Travis we can't go back, there's nothing left-" 

Travis walked around her. "No! I can't just leave it there! It's all I have left-"

Lee stepped up, one can missing from his stack. "We've been on the road for hours, it would take all day to get back there."

"Fine!" Travis shouted. "That's okay with me!"

"There's not enough gas." Sharon said, keeping her voice level. "Even if you took the RV you wouldn't make it Macon, you would have to walk."

"Then I'll walk!" Travis looked to Sharon, his eyes wide in fear. "I have nothing left, I need to get it back."

"It's just a phone." Sharon said. "I don't-"

"It was my girlfriends phone!" He shouted. "It has all of her pictures on it and texts and videos- She had it turned off and there's still some battery left, I kept it off so in case I needed to I could turn it on-"

Sharon reached out. "Travis, I'm sorry, we can't-"

Travis quickly slapped Sharon's hand away and brushed past her, slamming the door to the RV shut behind him.

"Is he gonna-" Lee started.

"No." Sharon stopped him. "I have the keys in my pocket."

Lee nodded. "Just let him cool off, then." He handed Sharon a can and walked away. "For you or Ben."

Katjaa cleared her throat. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"I was just about to ask you that." Sharon said, approaching her. "I'm fine, what about you?"

Katjaa didn't reply, taking a deep breath and wiping the sweat from her brow with the now dirty napkin. "I-I'm-" Katjaa had her hand over her mouth in seconds. She started coughing, holding the now balled up napkin to her mouth to muffle herself. 

Duck backed away as the coughing only got worse, her mother reaching out for support as she swayed in her seat.

Sharon dropped the can, grasping Katjaa's open hand with her own, she reached around the sickly woman's back and held her steady. She took in ragged breaths in between coughs, her body feeling limp for a brief second as the coughing stopped.

"Katjaa?" Sharon called out, wary as the heavier woman's breathing slowed. If it wasn't for the odd angle Sharon would have taken her pulse. "Katjaa, say something." 

"I don't. . ." Katjaa whispered, prompting Sharon to lean close to hear. "I don't think I have a lot of time left."

"Kat." Sharon whispered back. "What. . . what do you need me to do?"

Kat opened her mouth, the sound of a loud engine roaring caught everyone's attention.

Ben asked the question on everyone's mind with a smile and a mouthful of animal crackers. "It's working?"

"That noise. . ." Carley said, stepping away from the woods. "That's going to attract walkers."

Ben swallowed and frowned. "Crap."

Every head turned to face it, some neared it as Kenny and Lee filed out of the engine car with lifted spirits and empty hands.

"Pack your stuff." Lee announced. "We're taking the train."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to leave a note lol  
> So, as of last chapter you all may have noticed that the cannon-divergence part of my fic is finally appearing. I'm planning on fleshing out Duck and Carley more now that they're alive, it's a huge shame they died so quickly when they could have had more screen time. (Specially Duck, who in the beginning of the episode is so talkative yet doesn't say a word once he gets bitten (Though now that he's not bitten I plan on making him talk a lot more))
> 
> hmu at https://sharonitwd.tumblr.com/ for any questions/suggestions about the fic (Or if you wanna bother someone about TWDG)


	15. Handle It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> but you do it anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A song is mentioned at the end of the fic, https://youtu.be/16s13hYqeAc here is how I imagine it would sound  
> EDIT: I forgot to end a bracket, so the whole chapter didn't have italics, whoops.

Kenny and Lee approached the group in better spirits. Against all the odds that were stacked against them, they got a train working. A train that goes straight to Savannah. Everyone aside from Katjaa stood and faced the two men, even Travis as he exited the RV.

"We don't got much left, so just gather whatever you have." Kenny announced, his eyes falling to his wife. 

"What about the RV?" Travis asked, shutting the door behind him.

"We're leaving it." Kenny said plainly, attending to his wife quickly.

Travis crossed his arms and planted his feet, the only one staying still as everyone moved around him. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Unless some of y'all are a mechanic, that ain't moving." Kenny shook his head, hand intertwined with his wife as she struggled to stand. "I'm not sticking around to try to get it running, and I'm not gonna help you figure out how to get gas."

Travis hunched his shoulders and looked to the group, darting his eyes to every person. When no one matched his stare he scoffed, unwillingly following the group.

Ben was the first to hop in the supply cart, watching carefully as both of the injured bodies in the group neared the platform. When Sharon handed him her backpack everyone followed suit, he took the bags of those who neared and stacked it in a corner, along with the guitar.

"Who's is that anyways?" Travis asked, grunting as he attempted to climb inside. "Where'd it come from?"

"Some homeless guy that was living here, I think." Ben said, offering his hand to his shorter friend. "He was already dead so I pulled him out."

"With your bare hands?"

Ben looked down to the hand he offered, lips pursed as he in fact did drag not one but two filthy dead bodies today, bare handed.

Travis grimaced and turned away. "Yeah, I'm taking the ladder." 

Ben didn't help anyone else in, sitting down as Sharon lifted Duck in to the train, then reaching out for Clementine.

"Kenny, I'm getting sicker." Kat said, trying to speak louder than the engine. "I can hardly walk, it's hard to breathe."

Carley discarded her empty can and hopped in, her hands delving into the boxes and strewn belongings almost immediately, carefully stepping over the stained mattress. Sharon lifted Clementine in and hovered her body near the edge, prepared to heft herself inside but she stayed in that position, eyes unfocused.

"What can we do then?" Kenny asked, dropping his crossed arms dramatically. "Out here we are sitting ducks. We get on the train and we find something better."

"I'm worried, Kenny."

"So am I. Jesus, do you think I'm not?"

"That's not what I said-"

"Look, let's just get on and we'll talk this all out later." Kenny turned away. "I'll be up front."

Sharon climbed in the second Kenny left, turning around to see Katjaa already behind her with on hand resting on the platform. It took a moment for her to get on, needing Sharon to help pull her up.

Travis flipped the thin mattress over hoping to find the underside cleaner, it wasn't so he flipped it back and laid down with his good arm under his head. Clem hugged her knees by the wall opposite of their luggage. Carley pulled out a short fold-up chair from behind a box and offered it to Katjaa. She accepted it greatfully, sitting in the back with Sharon and Duck accompanying her on the ground. 

Ben offered Sharon her discarded can of mixed fruit, she dusted off some of the dirt from the lid and handed it to Duck. 

The train jerked foreword, slowly moving at first and gaining speed. The RV disappeared in a moments notice and if only for a second, everything felt okay. They are moving again, progress is being made, everything might be okay. They have a moving shelter that can run over walkers with ease.

Lee stepped inside and tried talking to Clementine, the little girl stayed silent so he tried again with Carley.

Sharon knelt by Katjaa's side, listening intently to everything the sickly woman had to say and making sure she had everything she needed to be comfortable. Back when Kenny had banned her from leaving the inn, Kat stepped in to teach her a few things about being a doctor, mending wounds and patient care. Though nothing she could have taught would prepare either of them for this.

Katjaa's health deteriorated fast, in only a few minutes Sharon could see her skin turn ever more pale, eyes and cheeks were sullen, head was hot to the touch yet her body was cold, her whole body ached like she had ran a marathon or two, and she would lose consciousness occasionally. With one hand constantly checking for a pulse, Sharon could feel it beating differently, though with her lack of medical knowledge she had no idea what that meant..

"Sharon?" Katjaa's eyes squinted open, tears spilled out as she spoke. "I. . ."

"What's wrong Katjaa?" Sharon got closer to hear the gravelly quiet voice over the wind. "Are you okay?"

"Will you. . ." Katjaa struggled, her eyes drifting to Duck as he slowly ate. "Take care of Kenny and Duck for me? After this- they'll be heartbroken. . . I need you to watch them, okay?"

"I will." Sharon nodded. "I'll watch them for you. . ."

"When. . . When I- we. . ." Katjaa hesitated. "Kenny will be mad if I tell you, so don't say anything."

Sharon tilted her head.

"A few years before we had Duck, I was pregnant." Katjaa slowly looked to the passing scenery, causing a gentle breeze through her hair. "We were going to have a girl, we were so excited we set up a nursery as soon as we could, we picked this awful shade of yellow and covered the whole room with it, we didn’t care we were so happy."

Katjaa coughed, bringing the napkin to her mouth until she could speak again.

"She. . . she was stillborn. She was so little. She would have been just a little bit younger than you by now." More tears streamed down Kat's face, yet she smiled. "You know, back when you first came to us Lee told me you were making noises in your room. . . you woke up one night needing help back to bed. . . when you looked up at me, you called me mom. . . I couldn't stop thinking about my little girl and for a moment, if not since then, I've been treating you like you were."

Kat didn't give Sharon any time to react.

"It's kind of why Kenny and I get so worried about you all the time, we can't help it." She coughed again, spurred by her attempt to laugh. "Sorry, I don't mean to. . ."

"No, no it's okay." Sharon smiled, blinking away the tears in her eyes. 

"You're an adult with parents you were already close to, yet I didn't care. All I wanted to do was protect you and make sure you're okay. I once almost asked if you could call me mom again, it's so weird-"

"No, no Katjaa that's not weird. If that’s what you want, I'll call you mom until you. . ." She bit her lip. 

"I don't mean to impose." Kat dropped her smile. "I don't want you to feel forced."

"M-Mom, it's fine." The word felt weird when directed to Katjaa, her own mother in mind. "I don't mind."

Then she started coughing, her whole body wracked with spasms as she tried to cover her mouth. The napkin fell to the group, she roughly brought her hand to her mouth, blood seeped between her fingers. 

" _Sharon-_ "

Sharon grabbed the napkin from the ground and wiped the blood from Kat’s mouth, staring at the dark stain it left. “Oh god, _Lee!_ ” Her heart raced and pounded against her chest, frustrated that the only thing she can do to help is wipe blood off her lips and watch.

Katjaa struggled to speak when Lee stepped over, her voice gritty and quiet in between the coughing. "I need you to go get Ken." Sharon dropped the dirty napkin to her side, holding tight onto Katjaa's hand. "I'm out of time. . . We need to stop this train."

"I'll watch her, Lee." Sharon looked up at him. "Please, stop the train."

Lee was out the door in seconds. Sharon reached for the napkin only to find it gone, she reached and took another from her backpack, wiping more blood away from the sickly woman's mouth. 

Katjaa looked so fragile, pale, and tired. She could only take shallow breaths and struggled to continue talking. 

Everyone momentarily lost balance as the train picked up speed, the grass turned to streaks of green and anything of interest whipped by in a flash.

"He's so stubborn." Katjaa groaned, wide eyes following her son as he shot up. "Duck, where are you going?"

Duck didn't answer, not even looking her direction as he slammed the door open and ran away to the engine car.

"It's okay." Sharon said, unsure if anything about this really was okay. "M-Mom, I-"

Katjaa started coughing again, this time unable to properly hold her hand up to cover herself. Sharon had to hold the napkin to stop blood from splattering on either of their clothes. 

Everything overpowered her senses; the train roared, the cold wind blew harder sending loose papers flying around the cart, Katjaa couldn't stop coughing, everyone nervously stared at the both of them, even the air felt heavy.

Everything moved around while Sharon's body had been glued to the spot, frozen in time again. She can't help Kat, she can't help Kenny, she can't help Duck. She's been in this family for only a few minutes and all she can do is watch as they fall apart.

Sharon's throat squeezed shut, every nerve ending and survival instinct flared and urged her to breathe yet she is paralyzed. The feeling of her hand melting to fit in to Katjaa's hand didn't phase her, as if it didn't even happen.

"Sharon?" Katjaa wheezed. "You. . . you haven't worn your pajama's in a while, you used to wear those all the time."

Sharon didn't respond.

"You should go get it, you don't have to put it on." Katjaa reached out and took Sharon's hands. "Please."

Sharon stood, her hand slipping from Katjaa's as she stepped towards her backpack. She didn't even need to look, hands delving through the food and water, the neat way she had organized her bag fell apart as she tore the pajama pants from the very bottom of the bag and clutched it to her chest.

Then the engine stopped roaring, returning to its calming hum. The colors outside shaped into trees and foliage as train slowed to a stop. 

Slowly the white blobs on the pajamas sharpened forming tiny and distinct unicorn silhouettes, her lungs filled with crisp fall air, the dark spaces vanished, everything felt. . . okay. . .

Sharon returned to Katjaa's side, both silent.

They both waited until the train completely stopped to move further, Katjaa couldn't stand for very long so she sat with her legs dangling under the platform, having to catch her breath solely from moving a few feet.

Kenny and Duck hopped down from the engine cart, rushing up to Katjaa with similar faces. For a moment they almost smiled when Katjaa looked up at them, _they have time to say goodbye_. The bags under her eyes and clammy skin wiped the happy thought in an instant, _they have to say goodbye._

"Boys, it's. . . It's time."

Kenny's lip quivered as he tried to think something to say. “What- w-what are we going to do. . .?”

Katjaa wheezed as she struggled to stay balanced. "I can't become one of those things, Ken. . ."

"But what if. . . what if you don't turn?" Duck asked, nearing his mother’s side. “You could have gotten scratched, you could be-”

"Ducky, I love you very much, I love you both more than life itself. I'm sorry that I didn't prepare you for this. . ." Katjaa let a tear fall as her voice slipped. "What you are saying, that I may not turn, is foolish." 

“But-”

"No."

"Isn't there some sort of pill, or something we can give you?" Kenny turned to Sharon for a second, continuing when she stayed silent. "You can just drift off to sleep, right, hon? Come on, Kat. What are we going to do? I mean, Jesus, what are you-"

"I KNOW." Katjaa took hold of Sharon’s hand and squeezed it. "But we know it's. . . here." She pointed to her temple. "Or nothing."

"Well, fuck, just. . . who then? You want me to?"

"You don't have to."

"Kat, I- Fuck, I can do it, I can-"

Lee spoke up. "I'll do it."

The couple shut their mouth simultaneously, almost unaware that Lee had followed the boys from the engine car.

Katjaa shook her head. "No, I should do it."

Lee took a step forward. "No one should have to do this. . ."

Kenny dropped his shoulders, only managing to look his wife in the eyes for a second before looking back to the ground. "Lee is right hon, we can say our goodbyes and. . . let that be it. . ."

"Lee, you'd be doing this family a great service." Katjaa cleared her throat, holding her hand to her chest as she took in a few deeps breaths.

“Mommy?” Duck took a step away, blinking away the heavy tears in his eyes as his mother swayed. “A-Are you-”

“No, Ducky. I’m still here.” Kat let go of Sharon and reached her hands out to her husband, relaxing in his grasp. "Why don't we go in the forest, so everyone else doesn't have to see."

They stayed silent, watching as Katjaa struggled off of the platform with her husbands help, each step she took dragged against the dirt. 

As they neared the forest, Kenny looked up surprised to see Sharon still by his wives side. “Kid, you don’t-”

Katjaa stopped him. "Kenny, she is coming with, okay?"

Kenny put his arm around Katjaa’s back and so did Sharon, Duck took Kenny's free hand and they passed the trees, each uneven step harder than the last. It was a short distance until they reached a small clearing, the train's engine almost blended in with the rest of the forest noises from this far away.

With help Katjaa sat down next to a tree, resting her weary eyes for a few moments. The boys took a step away as the woman’s breathing slowed.

Katjaa lifted her hand, hovering it in the air slowly. "Sharon. . ." 

The young woman knelt to her mother’s side and took the wandering hand, leaning close to hear past the wheezing. "There is so much I wish I knew about you, but so little time to learn."

Sharon tried to think of something to say, anything that might rid Kat of her regrets or ease her pain. Nothing came to mind.

"I. . . I love you. . ." Both women had tears freely streaming down their cheeks, though Katjaa is too weak to keep her eyes open. "Take care of your father and Duck, okay?"

“I love you too, mom.” Sharon whispered. "I'll make sure they're safe. . . I promise."

“And. . . I’m sorry.”

“About what?”

Katjaa took a deep breath and bloodshot blue eyes met hazel. “For leaving.”

The older woman reluctantly looked away, eyes meeting her son’s. Kat reached her free hand and beckoned the boy to come to her side. Sharon’s skin sprouted goosebumps when the sickly woman’s fingers left her grasp, now reaching out for Duck.

With the two pulled close Sharon stood up, backing away as they said their goodbyes. Hand to her mouth, Sharon meant to stand by Kenny’s side but instead she walked past him, stopping at the edge of the treeline. Even from here Katjaa’s struggled breaths cut through the air.

This is happening.

“Kat-”

Sharon whipped around, her knees weak as Duck ran from his mother, though not in fear. Before she understood what he was doing his arms wrapped around Sharon’s waist, his face buried into her side as he wept. She knelt down and hugged him properly, accidentally facing herself to stare directly at Katjaa.

Kenny was the last to speak to his wife, the two had so much to say to the other but time was fading fast. Her final words were uttered under hollow breaths, chest rising and falling heavier than before. 

Her time is up.

As if on cue, Lee’s footsteps crunched through the leaves and twigs making his arrival obvious to all of them, though no one turned to look. 

Kenny stood up, giving Katjaa one last kiss before backing away, muttering final words under his breath that he wasn’t sure she could hear.

This is really happening.

"C'mon.” Kenny said, approaching what’s left of his family. “Let's go." 

With one last look at Katjaa they bowed their heads. Sharon stood, her arm around Duck and Kenny’s arm around her.

Lee hesitated to pull the gun from his waistband, watching as the family disappeared behind the brush. He said his own goodbyes as Katjaa faded away, her eyes slowly shutting and her breathing slowed to a stop.

When the three came within a few feet of the train the gun shot echoed through the woods. Even though it was expected they flinched anyways. 

She's gone.

Katjaa is gone.

 

 

 

 

 

Inside the engine cart Kenny sat back down on the conductor’s seat, taking Duck on to his lap and encouraging Sharon to stay close to his side.

Travis joined them for a brief second, brushing past them with hushed apologies for bothering them. He stood at the front of the engine car, leaning over the railing carefully and staring at the same horizon the three inside couldn’t look away from. 

Then Lee came in, his voice bouncing off the walls as he spoke. "We're ready, Ken."

Kenny nodded and lightly shifted the throttle in position. Once the train reached a comfortable speed Kenny leaned back and hesitantly reached his arm around Sharon, she leaned into him and rested her hand on his shoulder, absentmindedly fiddling with the collar on Duck's shirt.

The ride was silent aside from the roar of the engine and Duck's occasional sobs. Kenny said nothing, comforting his son with warm embraces and occasionally looking to see if Sharon is okay.

Lee had gone back and forth between them, asking for a map from a bin at one point. He had offered Kenny a sip of whiskey, then offering Sharon a sip as well though she declined. He didn’t try to talk to them further.

The last visit from him he walked through straight to Travis. The angle was awkward but Sharon could see from his face he is furious, she could feel it from him as he stomped by.

When Lee reached him Travis stood straight, they seemed to be arguing. From inside the control room the three couldn't hear it, Kenny couldn’t see it from his angle but Sharon can, it’s getting heated out there.

Travis looked shocked then returned to angry as he said a few more words, Lee returned the shocked expression and turned to face Sharon directly, wide eyes locked. 

Oh no.

"I'll be right back." Sharon whispered, not waiting for Kenny to reply to step out to the little walkway, it wasn't big enough for a crowd so Travis backed away to make room for her, carefully holding on to the railing.

“I thought I was the only one keeping secrets.” Lee crossed his arms. "You were stealing supplies? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Her skin paled. "Lee, what- how much did Ben tell you?"

"He told me it was only him, though Travis is telling me there's more to the story." He sneered. "So speak up."

"Christ." Sharon faced the oncoming wind, eyes watering as she stared at the never ending tracks. "It started with Ben, the bandits said they had one of his friends and were holding him for ransom."

Lee scoffed.

"It was a stupid mistake, but when someone puts a gun to your head you don't say, 'no.' I knew they were lying from the start.” Sharon crossed her arms. “And we didn't steal _all_ of the supplies."

Lee's eyebrows turned upwards. "What do you mean?"

"When Ben and Travis had nightshift I would sneak out and get supplies from the city, if I was desperate I would go back to the dairy."

He dropped his arms. “The dairy?”

_"You went back there?"_ Travis whispered.

"They had leftover morphine and it was surrounded with walkers. The bandits don’t know about the blood trick so I went where they couldn't." She shuddered, both from the cold and the memories of smearing rotted walker blood on her coat. "I checked every building I could find and picked it clean, I know you and Kenny liked going to that pharmacy so I stayed clear of it."

"You. . ." Lee hesitated. "You went out there all by yourself?"

"I had to." Sharon shrugged. "I had a whole stockpile in my bag ready to go just in case the bandits wanted more, or if I. . . if I didn't come back."

Lee didn't shut his mouth.

"I told Ben to just blame me, that way if Lilly wanted to kick me out then I would have another excuse to leave." She sighed. "Or if I didn't come back to tell everyone about it anyways."

Lee closed his mouth and looked away for a second. "Lilly had all these 'suspicions' about you, said something about bruises and sleep walking. . . I guess she was right, huh?"

Sharon nodded. "The supplies in my bag were left over from my runs to the city."

"Is that where you're getting all these cloth napkins?"

Sharon pulled one out of her pocket, then stuffed it back. "I got it from a fancy restaurant, took a whole bunch."

Travis huffed. "It's getting a little cramped over here, are you done?"

"Yeah, we're done." Lee crossed his arms again. "We won't tell Kenny about the deal right now, but he _needs_ to know."

Sharon nodded, Lee turned and made sure Travis agreed to stay silent. Sharon opened the door and stepped aside to let Lee pass, her ears adjusting to the enclosed space.

When Lee left the room Duck welcomed her with a hug. "I’m tired, but I can't sleep."

She frowned. "Yeah?"

Kenny spoke up. "Every other night Katjaa used to sing Duck to sleep, tried makin' me do it when he was little but Duck wouldn't have it. 'Only mommy can do it.'" He smiled.

"Was she good?" Sharon asked.

Duck shook his head, arms still wrapped around Sharon's waist. "Not really, but I liked it because it was her singing it."

"Duck was sayin' you said you worked at a church." Kenny said. "Somethin' about singing?"

"Could you sing for us?" Duck’s voice muffled against her side.

Sharon's cheeks flushed. "I, uh, never sang for just two people before. Are you sure you want me to?"

"I'm really sleepy." Duck nodded again, ruffling her shirt in the process. "Please?"

Sharon held back a sigh, pulling Duck away from her long enough to find somewhere in the room to sit. She took the corner farthest from both doors, arms outstretched inviting Duck to lay down.

Once he was comfortable Sharon cleared her throat, testing her voice with a few hums, a familiar Johnny Cash song playing in her head. "I haven't sung in awhile so I wont be as good."

"I don't think he minds." Kenny muttered.

She wished she had the guitar in her lap, the strings would help piece a song together and muffle the sound of the engine. Though she decided that it would be awkward to use it with Duck laying on her lap.

She wished Lisa was here to sing with her.

Sharon took a breath. _"At my door the leaves are falling, a cold wild wind will come. Sweethearts walk by together, and I still miss someone."_

She paused, hearing the chords in her head. 

 

Clearing her throat she continued. _"I go out to a party and look for a little fun, but I find a darken corner, 'cause I still miss someone."_

For a moment she thought this song isn't appropriate for the situation, if they take away the 'breakup' tones to it and replace it with 'death' not much would change.

_"Oh, I never got over those_ blue _eyes, I see them everywhere. Oh, I miss those arms that held me, when all the love was there."_ Deep breath. _"I wonder if she's sorry, for leavin' what we'd begun. There's someone for me somewhere, and I still miss someone."_

Duck had fallen asleep quickly, but she continued anyways as Kenny locked eyes with her.

_"Oh, I never got over those blue eyes, I see them everywhere. I miss those arms that held me, when all the love was there. I wonder if she's sorry, for leavin' what we'd begun. There's someone for me somewhere, and I still miss someone."_

Kenny brought his hand to his mouth, taking a deep breath and smiling. He pulled his hand away. "That was lovely, sweetheart."

Sharon smiled in return, rubbing her fingers over Duck’s arm.

"Next time can you pick something a little more. . . cheery-?"

She almost asked about ‘next time’ until Travis’s muffled voice cut through the room. "Uh, Kenny?!"

Kenny whipped his head up, standing up suddenly. "OH SHIT!" He gripped the throttle and slammed it down. "HOLD ON EVERYBODY!"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't do my usual once over so sorry for mistakes.  
> Also: SharonITWD was originally going to be a songfic, but it was too hard to find good songs for every other chapter, so I gave up after awhile. Let this be the one exception.


	16. Unexpected Delay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not more strangers

_“HOLD ON EVERYBODY!”_

Travis struggled to keep balance with only one arm wrapped around the railing, the screeching of the frozen wheels against the tracks filling the air as his body threatened to fall over the edge and on to the tracks.

The hanging obstruction remained untouched and blocking their path down the tracks, the closer the train got the more frighteningly heavy it looked. It’s a miracle that one semi-truck could still be holding the tanker only a few feet off the ground from the overpass, a miracle nobody appreciated.

Everyone filed out of the train to see the commotion, watching Kenny as his face turned bright red and he paced in front of the train.

Sharon appeared at Clementine’s side in seconds and covered her ears, waiting to let her go until Kenny was done screaming curse words and obscenities at the tank. Duck seemed unphased by the screaming, staring blankly ahead.

"Maybe we could walk?" Ben suggested.

Kenny hung his head, his voice low. "That's fucking stupid, Ben."

Travis walked foreword, shrugging one shoulder. "Can't we just drain it and plow through?"

"That thing's not full of milk, kid. That's gas or diesel, something that's going to explode if we happen to make one spark." Kenny snapped. “It’s another fucking thing that’s going to take fucking HOURS to fix, god FUCKING-”

_"Yo!”_

Carley was the first to pull out a gun, eyes scanning for the source of the voice. Duck quickly placed himself behind Sharon, Clementine did the same with Lee.

_“You keep screaming like that and you're going to get your face chewed off!"_

Slowly all eyes looked up, wary of the figures that stood on the overpass. The two stood against the bright morning sky, nearly impossible to make out any details aside from their different height.

"Are you going to be trouble?" the woman asked. "Because we could've just kept walking."

"No, we're friendly!" Lee called back, looking back and forth to Carley and Kenny. _“Put your guns down, we don’t want to set them off.”_

"That's what everybody says." The woman spoke, her tone suggested she was smiling.

The two talked under whispers, then the shorter one called out again. "You guys got a problem with your train?"

"Yeah." Kenny called, crossing his arms. "You're standing right in front of it."

"Dude, it's a wreck." The shorter one looked over at the tanker, then back to the group below. "It's not so bad from up here. Send someone up here to have a look."

“I’ll go, Carley come up and watch my back.” Lee said, his voice hardly overpowering the ever-present train engine.

Lee only managed one step toward the service ladder before Kenny stopped him. "Anything goes sideways up there- we won't let them escape."

Once Lee and Carley started the ascent Clementine started fidgeting with her fingers. She took a slow step toward the ladder and gaged everyone reaction, taking another step when nobody said anything.

“Um.” Clem faced the group. “I’m going to go up and ”

Sharon was the only one who listened to her, unintentionally squinting at the little girl. “You don’t want to be far from Lee?”

Clementine nodded, taking another step back.

Although nice strangers are a rare occurrence, Sharon couldn’t find the strength to debate with the little girl, the fatigue hit her like a bus. “Go on, just be careful on the ladder, okay?”

Clem sprinted away when she was granted permission and climbed the ladder in seconds, Sharon tried to watch close but found that her eyes started to cross, the world harder and harder to focus on. The lack of a racing heart and semi-clear mind meant that she is only tired, it's not another panic attack.

Sharon turned her attention to her hand, Duck had attached himself to her as he stared blankly ahead. This only made her wonder what Katjaa had told him back in the forest, usually he's only clingy towards his parents.

“Duck.” Sharon pulled her hand free and knelt, meeting his empty gaze. “Do you want to go take a nap in the other cart?”

Duck slowly nodded, grabbing on to her arm again when she stood back up.

“Wait until we figure these people out, alright?” Kenny's voice trailed. “I want everybody ready, just incase. . .”

Sharon opened her mouth, closing it when Duck moved to stand behind her. Lee approached the group with two new people, along with Clem and Carley trailing behind them.

"Guys, this is Omid and Christa." Lee introduced, a relaxed demeanor about him.

The shorter one returned a wide goofy smile to the group. "We just wanted to say hi, and that your train is pretty cool."

The woman nodded. "But we're not looking for charity."

"We could help you guys though " Omid looked to Christa and shrugged, both shifting their weight from foot to foot. "So, yeah. . . Hi, again. . ."

Lee cleared his throat, ending the awkward introduction quick. "The plan is to cut that tanker down and be on our way."

“How are we going to do that?” Ben asked.

“We got a train working.” Lee shrugged. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Duck and I are still pretty tired, so we’re going to try to sleep a little in the boxcar.” Sharon announced. “Wake us up if anything goes wrong.”

“Of course.” Carley nodded, speaking louder when addressing the group. “I’m assuming Lee has this handled. Christa I was hoping to talk to you for a minute, get to know you a little better, if you don’t mind.”

“I’d be fine with that.” Christa smiled.

"And I’d like Ben and Travis to keep watch on top of the train.” Carley continued.

Ben shrugged. “Nothing better to do.”

Travis turned away. “I’m going to need help up, but sure.”

“Well, let’s do this before the train runs outta’ gas.” Kenny mumbled, looking to Omid. "Why don't I show you how this thing works, in case something happens." 

"You can't turn it off?" Omid asked.

"Well if you guarantee that it will start back up, once you figure out _how_ to turn it off, sure." Lee said.

“Oh." Omid shrugged and neared Kenny. "Sure, I’ll go.”

Kenny nodded, turning to lead Omid to the engine car. "Someone might want to have a look inside of the station back there, too."

The group turned away from each other. 

Omid admired engine car and it’s many outdoor compartments, peeking a glance at Sharon and Duck through the window as they laid down on the filthy mattress and watching as Travis scrambled to climb on top of the cart.

Both he and Christa saw the large bloodstain on his shoulder, though both decided to ask about it later.

“Well, the low fuel light is still off, so we should last for a while.” Omid said, closing the compartment door and continuing to the next. “How long have you had this train for?”

Kenny shrugged. “I dunno,’ a few hours, I think?” 

Omid hummed and followed Kenny in to the conductors room, the older man taking a seat and pointing out certain levers and buttons, handing him a pamphlet at some point.

“I don’t know what that does, so don’t touch it.” Kenny said, gesturing to a lever that has remained untouched.

Omid reached out like a child grasping at a new toy, only for Kenny to swat the hand away.

“I said don’t touch it, jackass.”

Omid backed away, keeping his mouth shut and listening closely, learning what levers to move and what buttons to press, along with how much a pain in the ass starting it was. 

“We found that shitty little booklet on how to run this thing.” Kenny muttered, leaning in his chair as Omid pulled the paper up close to his face. “I’m kinda scared to experiment with this, if it stops I don’t think we can get it runnin’ again.”

Omid nodded. “I thought it was, like, impossible to start a train without teams of people, or something.”

“Well we managed.”

“. . . So, you have what, seven people here?” Omid asked, looking up and down from the outdated diagram in the book. 

“Well there’s me and my- uh ” Kenny bit his tongue and sighed. "There’s me, my boy Duck, and my- uh… daughter?” The word felt wrong in his mouth, he remembered Katjaa’s wish to take Sharon under his wing, but thinking of her that way didn’t feel right.

_”Kat, she’s an adult, it’s not like she’s some kid-_ ”

“Daughter?” Omid looked at Kenny from the top of his book. “Is that a question or-?”

Kenny sighed again. “ _Sharon_ and my son are the ones taking a nap in the back. You met Carley, Lee and that little girl he’s takin’ care of, Clementine. The two kids up on the roof are Ben and Travis, some high schoolers we found out wanderin’ the woods.”

“So eight?”

“Ten, if you and your missus are planning on sticking around, though once we get to Savannah I ain’t planning on taking everybody with me, maybe Lee if he feels like coming.”

“Savannah.” Omid hummed. “Is that on the coast?”

“Yup, there’s boats down there.” Kenny crossed his arms, leaning further back in his chair. “I’m takin’ my family back down to Florida, I’m done dealing with these fuckin’ bandits, and cannibals, and scavengers.”

“Well, who says those ‘cannibals’ can’t float?”

“I’m not talkin' about walkers, I’m-”

Both men turned at the door clicking, then opening wide. Christa stood in the doorway and returned her boyfriends smile. “You learning the ropes?”

Omid nodded. “There are a lot of levers I can’t wait to use.”

“I said if something WERE to happen to me.” Kenny cut in, looking away from Christa.

“Oh, well maybe we can drive in shifts?” Omid suggested.

Kenny muttered under his breath, Christa cleared her throat. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“No, mostly everything I need to know is in this book.” Omid flashed her the booklet and smiled wide. “We’re just talking.”

“So everything’s okay in here?”

“Yeah, hun.” He nodded. “You girls and uh- Lee, doing okay out there?”

Christa hummed. “Lee was telling us about how he used to be a history teacher.”

Kenny didn’t think Omid’s smile could get any bigger. “My kind of man.”

Christa glanced to Kenny, thinking about saying something but then shaking her head. “Well, I should get back, I just wanted to make sure you were getting along.”

“Right, love you.”

Christa turned away. “I love you too, Omid.”

She hesitated, staying just out of sight from the broken window to listen in on their conversation, hovering over the short ladder back to solid ground.

_“So, Florida huh?”_

Christa descended the stairs and walked back to Lee and Clem, both sat in the grass and nodded. They turned their head to face Christa as she neared.

“I’m going to go back up and see if there’s anything in those cars above, get a better look at the wreck.” Lee stood up. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“You trust me alone with the girl, already?” Christa smirked.

He shrugged. “You don’t look dangerous.”

“That’s dangerous thinking.” Christa dropped her smile. “Do you always trust strangers as well as you trust us?”

“Well, I uh. . .” Lee locked eyes with Clem, both of their lower lips cringing. “We don’t-”

“Relax, I’m back.” Carley stepped out from the bushes, wiping her hands on her pants. “Just don’t ask me to shake hands any time soon.”

Clementine giggled, cutting it short as Lee left the girls alone and grabbed the ladder. 

Christa sat down with the child and groaned, rubbing her sore ankles. “Omid and I have been on the road for a few weeks now, it’d be nice to make some distance on wheels- or tracks- for a change.”

“Really?” Carley joined them on the grass, facing the treeline. “Where are you from?”

“San Francisco.”

Clementine faced the older woman. “Isn’t that really far away?”

“It is.” Christa smiled. “Omid wanted the ‘Great American road trip’ about six months ago, it was going great until the dead started roaming around. What about you two? You from Georgia or just visiting?”

“Most of us are from Georgia. Me and those boys up on the train are from Atlanta, Lee is from Macon.” Carley said. “Kenny and his son are from Florida, I don’t know where Sharon or Clementine are from, though.”

At the mention of her, Clementine pursed her lips, all she could think about is the numbers on her house. “Um, Athens?” She shrugged. “My babysitter was from Marietta, I think.”

Christa stopped smiling at the mention of a babysitter. “Did your babysitter know Lee?”

Clem hesitated, then shook her head.

Carley picked the conversation back up. “Have you always been on the road?” 

“Ever since this started.” Christa massaged her other ankle. “We stopped in some cities a few times, took a week with this other group but. . . I don't like sticking with groups, seems to only cause more trouble.”

“Ours was always a little dysfunctional, we survived by sticking together.”

“Our groups always fell apart quick.” Christa crossed her legs and sighed. “How did eight of you survive for this long together?”

“There were more of us. At our maximum we had, nine.” She paused, thinking back to when they first met Ben and Travis. “No, twelve.”

Christa hummed. “Your group have a lot of problems?”

Carley hesitated, not knowing where to begin. Her first thought was Larry and Lilly, though now that they are gone should she really talk about it? The bandits popped in to her head, the memories of both Lilly and Travis getting shot still fresh in her mind.

“That’s not a good sign.”

Carley shrugged. “We’ve had a lot of problem with bandits. Up until yesterday we were arguing every day about anything.”

“That sounds about right.” Christa shook her head, recalling her last experience. “It seemed every day was a new issue, right?”

Carley nodded, her eyes suddenly glued to the ladder.

“How did you get anything done?”

Clementine turned and smiled when Lee stepped off the ladder, with him looking at her Carley hid a smile. “Lee usually keeps the peace.”

Clementine stood and greeted him, excitedly asking him questions too far from the women to hear. He looked down and showed off something attached to his belt, a new holster for his gun.

Christa looked to Carley, recognizing the look the younger woman had in her eyes as she watched Lee, she wasn’t staring at the new holster. She may as well be an open book. “Lee, huh?”

Carley whipped her head around confused then deadpanned at the knowing smirk Christa had. She sputtered half-words as her face heated up, shutting her mouth when Lee approached, wide eyed as he smiled down at her.

“Me and the girl are going to go back up and see if there’s anything in that station.” Lee said, gesturing to Clementine and the building behind him and past the overpass. “We’ll be back in a bit.”

Christa stood and crossed her arms, her coy attitude gone in a second. “Just you and a little girl? Are you sure that’s safe?”

Lee blinked, his eyes catching Clementine's poofy and tangled hair. “Well, I got a gun.”

“Hold on.” Carley stood up as well. “You’re really going to go out there and risk her life, for what? An empty building?”

“I’m not _risking her life,_ I’ll keep her away from walkers, we’ll be smart about this.”

“And what if the dead comes up and grabs her hair, or what if you drop your gun?” Christa said. “What then?”

“Then I’ll shoot the walkers.” Clementine blurted out, even though the thought of holding the object she’s never even touched before scared her, shooting it seemed unimaginable.

“You?” Christa repressed a smirk. “Do you know how?”

“No.” Lee answered for her. “But, if she’s willing, she can learn.”

“A-are you sure about that Lee?” Carley asked.

“I don’t see why not.” Christa shrugged.

“I agree, but a little girl?” Carley gestured to little girl in question, her eyes not meeting the pouting face. “Isn’t she a little young?”

“Just because I’m little doesn’t mean I can’t help.” Clem crossed her arms, squinting as the women didn’t even turn to face her. “I want to help.”

Carley shook her head. “We’re not back at the Inn, there’s so much that could go wrong.”

“You're right, We’re not in the safety of the Inn anymore so we need as many able bodies to help out as possible.” Lee cleared his throat loudly, gaining the women’s attention. “We’re not going to put her on the front lines, but I think everyone would be at ease if she knew how to protect herself.”

“But-”

“Is that really what this is about?” Lee suddenly asked, his voice almost in a low whisper.

Christa placed her hands on her hips, squinting between the two as they stood silent. She doubted her 'lovebirds' theory as the look between Lee and Carley could possibly kill a man. 

Carley hesitated, dropping her crossed arms and giving in. “Okay, you’re right.” She sighed. “Do you need me to come with?”

“I got this, you two sit tight and hustle over if you think something's wrong.”

Carley still didn’t like this, pursing her lips as the pair turned and walked away. All it would take is a dark corner or a little distraction for this to end in blood and death. She used the thought of Clementine’s safety as a distraction from the terrible words she said to Lee last night, after killing Lilly she wasn’t really thinking straight, doesn’t mean he deserved to be treated like shit.

Clementine almost skipped alongside Lee to keep up pace, smiling widely as she left the group, this time she wasn’t left behind. Next to her Lee furrowed his brows, re-thinking bringing the little girl with him.

It’s a good idea to teach her to shoot, but is now really a good time? Sure, their little one-sided argument last night annoyed him and he maybe only agreed to take Clementine out because Carley didn’t want him to, but is that a good enough excuse to risk Clem’s safety?

Perhaps the building would muffle the sounds of the gun to stop unwanted attraction, but is that good enough? Would teaching her to shoot be enough? What-if's ran through his mind as he thought about Clementine handling a gun, Clementine alone with a walker, Clementine with someone else's fingers pulling at her hair.

Halfway to the building Lee noticed Clem had lost the spring in her step, instead her hand grasped onto her wrist and she avoided looking at him.

Lee looked straight ahead. “So, uh. How’re you feeling?”

Clem sighed. “I-I know I said I wanted to learn but ”

Lee waited patiently for her to continue, watching as she struggled to say the words on the tip of her tongue. “But?”

“But I’m scared.” Clementine stopped, leaning against the wooden platform attached to the warehouse. “I’ve never held a gun before.”

“Well, we can start now.” Lee pulled the gun out from his holster, switching up the safety lock and presenting it to her in both hands. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s just a thing. One of the first things Carley taught me, know where your finger is at all times."

“Why?”

“Because if you get scared or start shaking you could accidentally shoot when you don’t want to.” He let her take the weapon in her hands. “Don’t point it anyone, unless you want to hurt somebody.”

“Okay, okay. . .” Clem took it in her hands, unsure how to actually hold it. “It’s heavy.” She flinched as Lee suddenly moved her hand, aiming the gun away from him.

“You’ll get stronger.” He adjusted her stance, moving one foot in front of the other, lowering her shoulders, and unlocking her elbows. “When you aim you wanna look right down the top, down this little notch and then line it up-” He dragged his finger along the barrel and tapped the notch at the top. “-with this.”

“Like this?” She asked, squinting as she slightly adjusted her hold.

"Just like that.” He held out his hand. “Once we get inside we can focus on shooting, out here I don’t wanna risk the noise.”

Clementine slowly pulled her fingers away from the gun, dropping it in to his hand. “So, that’s it?”

“Well, there’s a few more things I gotta teach you, but I think learning how to hold it is a good start.”

Clementine smiled. “Okay, should we look inside now?”

Lee faced the building, frowning at the boarded up windows and overgrown weeds, his eyes drifting to the unanswered SOS sign painted on the roof. “Sure.”

He started at the left side of the building, checking for any back exits or open windows, a way in or a way out. The boards that were nailed from the outside looked relatively new, so prying it off the windows isn’t an option.

Rounding the corner he spotted Clementine rushing off, hand already wrapped around the door handle and twisting, she let go learning that it's locked.

“You should wait for me before trying to open doors.” Lee said. “You never know what could be behind it.” Clem apologized and grabbed her wrist again. Seeing her frown and do nervous gestures made him frown too. “It’s alright, we’ll get better at working together.” He returned her smile and looked to the door, eyes catching the open window directly above it. “Now we just need a way in.”

Clem followed Lee’s eyes, nearing the door and squinting at it. “Maybe we could look in?”

“Yeah?” Lee hummed. “I can put you on my shoulders so you can peek inside.”

“Sounds good.” She nodded, a wide smile on her face. 

The little girl’s body swayed as Lee held on to her waist, lifting her up above him and planting her feet on his shoulders. She wiggled for a moment trying to gain her balance, she reached out and held on to the window sill, finding it hard to look down at Lee from beyond her dress.

“Um-”

“Don’t worry, I won’t look up.”

“Okay.” Clem pulled herself a little closer to the window, causing Lee to take a step forward and tighten his grip on her ankles. “I can see in, what do I do now?”

“Well- what do you see? Do you hear anything?”

“No, it’s quiet.” Clementine shrugged, eyeing the dusty boxes and silhouettes of dusty boxes. “Lots of crates and stuff, it’s really dark.”

"Maybe we can find the key or figure out a way to knock this door down."

Clem squinted, reaching her arm inside and reaching through the darkness.

“Kenny would probably have me pick the lock, which actually might work now that we have time-”

She stretched, her finger brushing over the lock. With one last swipe the lock clicked. “I think I opened it.”

Lee stopped in his tracks his mouth still open. “For real?”

“I think so.” Clem peeked inside, still unable to see the lock that she moved.

Lee stepped away from the door and lifted his hands, bracing Clementine and safely helping her down. Though instead of reaching for the handle like before she stepped back and let him do it. Lee twisted the knob and pushed, cracking the door open an inch. “Okay, stay behind me.” He said, holding his gun up and ready to aim if any walkers show.

Clementine did as she was told, side stepping to stay behind him yet peering over his side. Lee took a deep breath and shoved the door, rapidly aiming the gun around the room to any large object that stood out, when nothing moved he lowered the gun and huffed.

“All clear, for now.” He said, walking further inside.

All windows had been boarded up haphazardly, with gaps to look out yet not enough to light up the room. The wood itself obviously came from smashed up crates, the boards had rusted broken nails already sticking out and had random chunks missing out of it. With one hard tug a board fell to pieces.

“This wood is all rotted.” Lee said, pulling at more boards along the windows closest to the door. 

Clem looked to the ceiling and stood in the doorway, arm stretched to keep the door open. “Does that mean the building is going to fall?”

Lee smiled. “No sweet pea, the boards on the windows are rotted, the building looks safe.”

“It’s kinda dirty.”

Lee chuckled but didn’t comment, taking down one last board before looking over. “You can come in, it’s safe.”

“The door won’t stay open.” Clem took a few steps away and watched as it shut, the majority of the light disappeared slowly. She reached out and pulled it open again. “I don’t like the dark.”

“That’s alright, that’s smart.” Lee said, walking alone the other wall and pulled down a board. “Let’s fix that, I don’t want that door to stay open while I’m teaching you how to shoot.” 

With the help of the monkey wrench Lee had grabbed off the train, he successfully pried off every old board from the inside of the building, letting in a significant amount of the morning light through.

“Okay, how’s that?” Lee asked, laying the tool down on a crate while he caught his breath.

Clementine side stepped away from the door and both watched as it shut. The room still looked dark, though not dark enough for Clementine to rush back to the door.

“That’s kinda better.” Clem shrugged. “What do we do now?”

“Well, I got a good look around, aside from that locked closet over there; there’s nothing on this side of those bars that we can use.” Lee said, pulling on the locked door to the secured storage. “So, I’ll teach you how to shoot now and figure out how to get to the other side of this gate in a bit, maybe see if there's something in the closet.”

Lee scanned the floors, brushing away some of the wood that now littered the floor and picking up random bits of trash, bottles and partly-crushed cans would serve well as Clem’s targets.

“Are you ready, sweetpea?” Lee asked, gesturing Clem to stand by him across from the targets he set up.

“I guess. . .” Clem dragged her feet, nervously grabbing the gun and quickly moving it away so it wouldn’t point at Lee again. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"There's a little switch on the side, right there." Lee pointed, watching as Clem turned the gun around and thumbed over the lock. "That's called the safety, when you're not using it you want it on incase you accidentally pull the trigger while handling it."

Clem switched it down, flinching at the subtle click it made, now knowing full well that it could fire if she wasn't careful. Her shoulders rose up as she moved her finger off the trigger, making careful movements as not to accidentally shoot or aim it at Lee again.

“Good, now aim at the can on the left.” Lee instructed, fixing her shooting position and hovering his hands over her ears. “When aiming you wanna squeeze the trigger, steadily, okay? Don't give it a quick yank or pull.”

"Steady." Clem whispered. "I can do that."

"Every Time. It'll be tough, but just remember to do that and you'll hit what you're aiming at."

"Okay." Clem did as she was told; aiming the gun, lining her target down the sights, holding her finger away from the trigger, and taking deep breaths. "I'm ready."

"Good, don't lock your elbows." Lee quickly adjusted her arms and covered her ears. "Squeeze the trigger smoothly and I'll cover your ears, nice and easy."

"Nice and-"

Just at the recoil Clementine nearly dropped the gun, her hands hurt and she didn't think her heart could beat any faster until now.

"You okay?" Lee pulled back.

"My hands hurt." Clem tried resting her hand on the barrel of the gun, yanking her hand away from the hot metal. "I don't like this."

"Try not to touch the barrel when you shoot, it could burn you." Lee slowly moved the gun away so it didn't aim directly at him. "Let's stick with it, okay?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yeah, you do." Lee twirled his finger around, prompting Clem to stop facing him and face her targets, as she aimed again he unlocked her elbows and covered her ears again. "Now this time, aim a little higher."

Clem did as she was told, this time she held onto the gun steady, no almost-dropping it this time.

"A little to the left."

Another shot, another miss, a noise. Just as Lee was about to speak she shot again, the bottle erupted in to tiny shards of brown glass and surrounded the floor.

"I got it!"

"Good shot, you're doing good." Lee praised. "Now, try the right one."

Clem lined up and shot, flinching when the bullet missed and hit the wall, a dull thud following it. "I squeezed too quick. . ."

"It's okay, you'll get the hang of it, you got this."

Clem took a deep breath and this time she patiently lined up the shot, making sure it's perfect and-

Another miss, another thud.

"Aim a little lower."

Another shot, a hit!

"Nice! Now, the last one, then we should stop."

"Okay." Clem nodded, waiting for Lee to finish unlocking her elbows before trying to aim again. Deep breath, squeeze the trigger. The can skittered off across the floor, disappearing from their sight. "I did it!"

"Yeah you did, good job!"

She turned to face him, a bright smile plastered on her face. "I squeezed the trigger, just like you said."

Lee beamed back, glad to see that her fear of the gun had gone with only three targets. "And you did good."

Her smiled faded quickly. "They're not walkers, though."

"Yeah, far from it. But you know how these things work now." Lee took the gun from her hands and turned the safety back on, carefully sliding it in to his holster and snapping the strap in place. "We'll graduate you to walker one day."

Clem turned and rattled the barred gate, masking a low noise coming from the supply closet. "Now we need to open that gate, right?"

Lee looked over to it, eyes scanning through the bars and darkness. The keys glinted in the sunlight and further in the back: a blowtorch. "Perfect, but how are we going to get inside?"

"There's a gap up there." Clementine pointed, necks craning to see the top. "We're lucky I'm so little."

Lee smiled, reaching out and hefting Clementine as high as he could lift her, letting go when she grabbed on to the top and crawled inside. He watched carefully though with a wide smile as she slid down the bars and landed on the other side, safe and sound.

As the two basked in pride, something thrashed and broke through the supply closet.

"What the fuck?" Lee whipped around, sizing up the two walkers that got up from the ground, bits of broken door falling from their clothes. 

He squinted, reaching for his gun and tugging, looking down at the holster and trying again. He fumbled to get his hands around the strap, flicking it off and aiming.

The first walker had already gotten close, nearly swiping distance by the time Lee aimed the gun. He squeezed the trigger and found himself against the wall with a furious walker trying to bite at his neck, and the gun sliding across the ground.

"Lee!" The little girl watched in panic as Lee struggled to push the walker off of him, grunting loudly and yelling as it descended on him. 

Clementine quickly picked the gun up from the ground, unsure of what she can do with it. Aiming down the sights had become harder, he hands couldn't stop shaking and only made worse when the sights happened to point at Lee. With a quick glance she saw that the safety is still on, she made no move to turn it off.

Finally Lee shoved the walker off of him, grabbing his wrench and swiping it up, making contact with the walkers jaw and sending it stumbling back. 

Instead of going after it Lee turned to the second walker and swung for it's temple. The first hit made it stumble, it fell to the ground limp at the second hit.

As the third walker came recovered from it's first hit Lee swung, bringing it to the ground and killing it with one more smash.

"Okay, it's okay." Lee panted, eyeing his gun in Clementine's shaky hands. She didn't move. "We're okay, everything's fine-"

Lee's racing mind struggled to process what the movement was in the corner, a loudly gurgling walker emerged from the very back of the gated storage, heading straight for Clementine.

His mind caught up with his mouth and he shouted. "KEYS! NOW!"

Clem ran to the back wall and stood on her toes to reach the keys, the noise of it jingling only further provoked the walker.

Grasping for the keys, Lee shoved it in the lock and ripped the door open. Clementine grabbed on to Lee, letting go of the gun as he slipped it from her grip.

Switching off the safety and two rapid shots was all it took, the walker collapsed.

With the threat dead, Lee put the gun back in his holster and he finally caught his breath.

"That didn't go so good." Clem remarked.

"No, it did not go so good." Lee turned to the nervous little girl and rested a hand on her shoulder. "But we're okay. Everything's okay."

"Lee, are you in there?" Carley called out, opening the door and scanning the room.

"What's going on?" Christa said, walking inside after Carley. "We heard the two gunshots."

"We're fine." Lee said, still catching his breath.

"That didn't sound like practice." Carley crossed her arms, the two women eyeing the walkers littered on the ground.

"We handled it."

Christa rested a hand on her hip, eyes darting between Lee and Clem. She hummed and turned around. "I just hope you know what you're doing with her."

"We're alive, aren't we?"

"Yeah. . ." She sighed and walked out. "You are. . ."

When the door shut Carley looked to Clem first. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm a little shaky." Clem looked to the ground. "I'm not ready for a gun."

Carley shook her head. "This is your first time even holding a gun, you'll do better next time."

"That's right." Lee knelt to get eye level with Clementine. "We learned that everything we will ever do is dangerous. We will get better, smarter, and faster. Okay?"

Clem looked up. "Okay."

"And maybe, when we're not somewhere safe, we should just leave the safety off."

"So, did you find anything we could use?" Carley asked.

Lee stepped inside the gated storage and walked to the back, Carley followed through turned to the right to face the opposite wall, a few steps inside resting on a box sat a lantern.

"We found a blowtorch." He held it up to his chest, proudly presenting the item only to see Carley fiddling with the lantern. "That probably needs batteries, y'know."

"Lee. . ." Carley deadpanned, twisting a knob and producing light. "It's an oil lamp."

"Oh."

"What's next, are you going to call me small?"

The two smiled, not seeing the little girl in between them confused. Just last night they argued on the couch, argued below the overpass, and now they are just. . . joking? Flirting? Being friends again?

"Um, can we leave now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again: I didn't do a final check over this so sorry for mistakes. 
> 
> Happy 6th anniversary TWDG!!
> 
> Also, consider this a break from Sharon and let everyone else have some 'screen time.'


	17. Lend Me Your Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Around the end of the chapter you will need to listen to this, you'll know when: https://youtu.be/8iKPzjZ6EEA

Although the two seemed to be getting along again, Clem watched as the two grown-ups quickly separated and again, started to bicker. She led a few feet ahead of them trying to avoid their petty argument, unfortunately their voices traveled.

Her shoulders relaxed when Christa, Omid, and Kenny met them under the overpass, waiting for the three to arrive.

"What you got there?" Kenny started, ending the two's bickering.

"There wasn't much in there but a lantern and this." Lee lifted the large cylinder to his chest, so everyone could get a good look. "A blowtorch."

Omid leaned forward and craned his neck to read the sideways letters on the side. "Ace- uh, alcat-"

"-It's. . . a blowtorch." Kenny flatly interrupted.

Lee lowered the torch back to his side. "I was thinking about using this to cut the tanker down."

Carley set the lantern on the ground and crossed her arms. "And as I was saying-"

Clem rolled her eyes.

"-That's dangerous. If there is gas in that, like Kenny said, then won't a spark catch a fume and blow the whole thing up?"

The adults who weren't apart of the bickering turned, eyes scanning the large tanker.

"Well, it looks sealed." Omid shrugged. "The grass below is still green, so I don't think it's been leaking."

Christa shook her head. "Those things are meant to be sealed tight, I've seen old truckers smoke next to their haul."

"Then those truckers had a death wish." Kenny said.

Carley took a step forward and looked at the tanker too. "Isn't it literally plastered all over the sides not to smoke next to it?"

"Yeah." Christa crossed her arms. "If he felt safe I think it should be fine. . . probably."

“Diesel fumes aren’t flammable, so I think we’re fine. Not to mention the haul doesn't have a scratch on it, miraculously." He turned his back to the group and walked to the train. "I'll head inside and get ready to haul ass when it drops."

"Well, that's good enough for me." Omid smiled. "How about I head up there with you?"

Lee nodded and turned to the women. "You two stay alert and watch our back, get ready to run in case this all goes sideways."

" _Literally_ " Omid muttered.

"And what about me?" Clem spoke up, following Lee to the ladder.

"I want you to go and warn everyone inside the train about the plan. Start with Ben and Travis, then go to Sharon. We're not sure where this will fall, so we want to make sure everyone knows to keep their eyes peeled."

Clem, with something to do that isn't killing walker and not 'stay out of the way' she ran to the train before Lee could get in another word.

The small girl climbed the steep stairs on to the engine cart, standing on her toes to see the top of Ben's head, the two too far away to see properly.

"Ben!" Clementine called out, waving her arms in the air. "Travis?"

The two kept their backs to her, talking silently to one another.

Clem tried one more time before closing her mouth. Determined, Clem grabbed on to the railing, as she pulled herself up she placed a quick hand to the train wall to keep herself balanced. Carefully she turned, replacing her feet on the bars to face herself to Ben and Travis.

Since the two still didn't look her way Clem reached her arms to the very top of the cart, her fingers gripping on to the roof. With a grunt she tried pulling herself up and in a second her arms stopped pulling, dangling her a few feet from the ground. She waited a moment, looked down, then let herself drop to the floor.

She huffed and climbed the railing again, this time attempting to go for what little of a running start she could muster. Her palms made contact with the roof, her elbows locked into place, from here all she would need to do is lean forward and crawl up.

Ben turned at the sound of the metal roof bending, a similar noise that the roof makes when he accidentally steps outside of a support beam, a noise that will be loud for the two sleeping below.

"Oh, Clem!" Ben rushed over and whispered apologies as his feet pounded against the metal.

Clem struggled to bend her leg over the edge, she almost accomplished it by herself until she felt Ben lifting her up and safely placing her on the roof. When the teen let her go she crossed her arms.

"Hey there, uh. . ." Travis hesitated. "Clementine? What- uh, what are you doing?"

"Lee told me to come up here-"

"Oh." Travis said. "We don't need any help."

Clem dropped her arms and squinted at him. "Lee is going to cut the truck off the bridge, so I came up here to tell you that we're not sure where it will fall, so make sure you keep your eyes peeled."

"Oh. . ."

"So, watch out, okay?" Clem turned back around, unsure of how she's going to get down.

Travis returned to his spot at the other end of the cart while Ben helped Clem find a safe way down. As she landed sparks started to shoot out from the overpass, bouncing off the metal and falling to the ground below.

"Whoa." Travis stopped in his tracks. "Uh, isn't that really dangerous?"

"Yeah." Ben neared his friend. "If it falls on us then we're really screwed."

"Not just that, Kenny's the one who yelled at me saying there's gas in there. One spark could blow up the whole thing, right?"

"Oh, yeah, um- that sounds really bad."

"I mean, I guess it's fine. If Lee's up there doing that then he must be confident that this won't literally blow up in his face."

Ben hummed in response.

"Oh, by the way-” Travis elbowed Ben in the side. “-why in the hell did you tell Lee about the bandit deal?"

"OW- What?" Ben held his sore side and looked away from the sparks. "Wait, I thought you were mad that we-"

"I'm mad that you hid it from _ME_ , I know we're not that close but, fuck Ben, sometimes it feels like I'm on my own out here."

"Oh. . ."

"Can we just keep the secrets to a minimum from now on? Between you and Sharon I feel like everyone’s trying to avoid me." Travis crossed his good arm and continued walking to the end of the cart.

Ben opened his mouth to respond, instead whipping his head around at the sound of metal bending, thick metal being ripped and twisted. He'd heard the sound in TV shows and movies, though now that he heard it this close he realized how terrifying it really is.

For a moment everyone held their breath, watching as the sparks stopped falling. The tanker shifted and the truck rolled.

"Oh. . . oh fuck!"

Ben didn't look away. "No, it stopped, I think we're okay-"

"No. No, no, no, shit, shit-" Travis turned away and took a deep breath. "Walkers! There's a whole bunch of walkers!"

Travis ran past his friend, leaving him to take in the sight alone. A literal horde of bodies walking towards them, kicking up dust in their wake.

"Oh my god." Ben tripped over his own feet as he backed away, scrambling to his feet and stopping at the edge. "WE NEED TO GO!"

Carley and Christa, who previously stood just outside the train to watch the tankers movements ran up the steps. The tanker finally dropped to the ground, even with the train's vibrations everyone could feel the thud as the metric fuck-ton of fuel hit the ground. The metal scraped against the cement overpass, tearing a hole in the tank as it collapsed and taking out the ladder with it.

"Shit, how are they going to get down?" Carley covered her mouth, eyes watching the blowtorch fall from the overpass.

She didn't have time to think about it any further at a high ear-piercing scream from inside the cart. Christa ripped open the door and rushed inside, Sharon backed herself away from the flames that rose over the platform.

Carley rushed inside, reaching out as Sharon continued backing away, straight towards the open door parallel to the other. Ben, only realizing once Sharon's head fell back, that she nearly backed herself out of the train and straight in to the puddle of flames.

Sharon's left hand nearly touched the ground, Carley had a firm grip on the other hand with her body stopping Sharon's legs from continuing down.

Ben knelt down and quickly grabbed Sharon's shoulders, with one pull Sharon sat up and Clementine quickly pushed the door shut.

"Are you okay?" Duck sat in front of her, arms reeling at the sight of Sharon's left hand.

"I-I just woke up, I don't- I don't-"

"NO!"

With everyone else's attention on Sharon, no one had the mind to pull Christa in the cart, most didn't even know she left, most didn't know that Lee had pulled Omid inside.

"You piece of shit!" Omid yelled, "She-"

Omid shut his mouth the moment Christa leapt inside, both panting. "It's okay, honey." Christa took a deep breath. "We're okay."

"My leg is fucked."

Carley turned to the pile of bags in the corner. "Sharon, you have something in there, right?" She reached and pulled the bag over, fingers searching for the zipper. "I think I remember Katjaa saying-"

"NO." Sharon snatcher her bag from Carley, noticing the odd looks from everyone around her. "I-I mean, no, I got it."

"Are you sure?"

Sharon didn't answer her, closing the bag and opening the smaller pocket. Inside; a small roll of bandages, very little left of disinfectant, a few cloth napkins.

"Is that all you have?" Christa asked.

Sharon slowly nodded, looking the blood that already started to pool around Omid's leg, then to her pink arm.

"Shit, I'm guessing you don't have anything for burns."

She nodded again, zipping up the bag and bringing the supplies over to Omid. "Um. . ." She tried to remember his name, instead she held out the supplies in her palms. "Mind if I?"

"Okay, yeah, this is gonna suck." Omid hissed through his teeth as he tried to lift up his pant leg. "Ah, okay, nope, um. . . you don't happen to have pain killers?"

The painkillers were the first to give to the bandits.

"I'm sorry."

"That's what I thought." He looked around the room, eyes meeting both Duck and Clementine. "Kids? Why don't you go hang around in the other room?"

Duck tried to stay, though Clementine grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, Lee followed behind. As both Sharon and Christa peeled the blood soaked jeans away from the wound Travis opened the door.

"Hey, Sharon are you-"

Travis got a clear view of Omid's leg. Some time during the fall and now his bone had broken, pierced his skin, and gone back inside. Dark red blood poured from it.

"I'll just. . . wait my turn." Travis turned on his heel and left.

Ben neared and paled, swallowing down the impending vomit and trying to imitate Sharon’s stoic face. “Do you need my help?”

“No.” Sharon hovered her hands over Omid’s leg. "I'm going to use the rest of our disinfectant to see what the bone looks like, I'll try to be quick but if there's shard's I'll have to-"

"Y'know what?" Omid leaned back, covering his eyes with his sleeves. "Why don't you. . . _not_ explain that to me."

Ben, after being dismissed and ignored so quickly turned and left the room, dragging his feet as he did so.

"Have you done this before?" Christa asked, pulling the belt from her jeans and wrapping it above the wound as a tourniquet.

"I'm trained in CPR." Sharon muttered. "Not. . . this. . ." 

Nothing could have prepared her for this.

Omid tried to be optimistic and say something along the lines of, "at least you're trained in something," until Sharon put pressure on a tender spot.

Before she could start pouring Carley held out her hand. "Wait, Sharon, are you sure you can handle this?"

Sharon hesitated.

"With the thing with the fire-"

She poured the clear liquid out, staring at the visible bone helped muffle the pained yells from Omid. Her eyes scanned for anything that could help her in this situation. No shards as far as she could tell, the bone isn't straight, the bone is in all the way, she can see his _bone_.

Without any words Sharon unfolded the napkins and pressed two against the wound, wrapping the roll of bandages around to keep it in place. She wished they had something to stitch it up.

Somewhere along the process Carley had made a makeshift splint out of what the train cart had: Cardboard and wood. She held the pieces in place as Sharon continued wrapping the wound. With the last bit Sharon tried tying a knot, her hands too shaky to tie it properly.

Slowly Carley reached out, steadying Sharon's hands enough to complete the knot and be finished with Omid.

"Thank you." Christa rolled down her boyfriends pant leg, wiping the blood off on his knee. "You should probably see what that pale kid needed, he wasn't looking so well."

"Pale kid?" Sharon pulled her hands from Carley's. "You mean Travis? I don't know what else I can do, we're out of everything aside from band aids. The rations we have won’t last us a week and all the medicine I have left are. . . gummy vitamins."

"Well, it if means anything, I'm sorry I used up the last of your supplies." Omid panted, his voice a little more hoarse than before. "You don't happen to have sunglasses in that bag do you?"

"Sunglasses?"

"My eyes hurt. . . a lot."

"Probably from cutting that metal with a blow torch." Christa said.

Sharon zipped up her bag again, placing it with the rest and pulling out a bottle of water.

Carley spoke up. "I don't know if it's the same, but I had an uncle that went blind from welding without a helmet."

Sharon examined her left arm, the sudden feeling of burning coming back. The blood on her hands squished between her fingers.

"Oh, so _now_ you tell us that cutting metal with fire can blind me."

 

 

 

 

 

Travis stood close to the door, shivering even with Ben's added coat. He gripped the railing tight, his knuckles would be white if his hands weren't so weak.

He turned, relieved to see Sharon approaching him, a water bottle already being dumped over her hands. She didn't say anything as she did so, focusing on cleaning her hands and splashing water over her exposed red arm.

"Shit, what happened to your skin?" Travis tried to get a closer look, before he could take a step Sharon quickly rolled down the sleeve.

"It doesn't matter." She drank the last of the bottle and looked around, sighed, then let the rushing wind carry the plastic from her hands. "What about you? What's wrong?"

Travis wanted to cross his arms. "Lee and Kenny were talking about setting up a plan, in a little bit we're gonna have a group meeting in this room." He tilted his head to the storage cart. "But before that, I need you to look at my shoulder."

She nodded, waiting for him to start moving before rushing to take off his jackets. She didn't question why he was wearing two as his skin is cold to the touch, she set the jackets by her feet, working around his shirt again, pulling at his collar to expose both bandages.

"It hurts, it fucking _burns_." Travis muttered, watching in the corner of his eyes as Sharon pulled back the bandages. "It's not just that. I feel really weak, I keep shivering even though it's not that cold out, and since the train started moving again I'm suddenly dizzy."

The wounds stopped bleeding for the most part, what worried her is the skin surrounding it is slowly turning red. Very soon it will start to pus and then they will all know it's infected.

"So? Does it look bad?"

Sharon pressed the bandages back on and pulled the collar of his shirt back to where it belonged, remaining quiet until he got the jackets back on, she even zipped it up for him.

"I think it's infected."

"You _think_?"

"I'm not an expert at this, Travis." Sharon sighed, examining her hands for blood then rubbing her eyes when her hands looked clean. "We don't have any disinfectant left, but I can try cleaning it out with water, I'm out of bandages but we can see if anyone else has something."

"Great. That's just great." Travis pushed himself from the railing, looking to the engine room and waving his hand. "Before Lee gets here. . . just between us. . . are you planning on leaving again?"

Sharon hesitated.

"If you are, will you let me know before we get there? I don't think I can stay anymore, I've been playing nice because I don't want to get kicked out, but I really don't like kids."

"Wait, what?" Sharon dropped her hands from her eyes. "Why not?"

"Uh, because they're annoying? The little girl is okay, but the whole 'stop cursing thing' is getting on my nerves."

"Travis, she's a human being, call her by her name."

"I-I-"

Lee appeared behind them with Clementine, Duck, and Ben. "Everything alright out here?"

Travis looked to Sharon, dropping his crossed arm when he saw her back to him, already inside the storage cart. The rest of the group followed Travis inside and sat on the ground, forming a crude circle. Ben closed the door on his left and opened the one on his right, leaving a crack in both to let in sunlight.

"Is this an intervention?" Omid said, looking around for a reaction.

"I was thinking and decided that 'going to Savannah' isn't a well thought through plan." Lee said, pulling out a folded map from his pocket and laying it out for everyone to see. "Kenny said these tracks were on run all the way there. There's a train station we're heading towards." He pointed it out on the map and followed a line, stopping at their destination. "This one."

Sharon ignored where Lee pointed, instead she focused on a small rectangle right in the Historic District, Forsyth Park.

"Those stations usually have trains backed up, Kenny said we'll probably stop here around, uh- interstate five-sixteen." Ben pointed out the road and followed it all the way to Savannah. "Then we'll follow. . . I-Sixteen."

Just above the large park in a grid-like pattern stood many more parks, historical sights, memorials, pretty structures, anything that can gather a crowd and keep them around.

Lee nodded. "When we reach Savannah, there's no telling what it's like there. Kenny is dead-set on finding a boat so we'll be heading towards the river."

In between the grids, just a little closer to Madison Square.

Clem's eyes landed on the little square that read Marsh House. "Will we be able to look for my parents?"

Lisa's house, the whole block just a tiny rectangle on the map. She's there. She's so close.

"We'll see, Clem." Lee said.

"Is that really important right now?"

Ben squinted at him. " _Travis._ "

"What?"

_"If we can-"_ Christa spoke loudly, softening her tone when addressing Clementine. "We'll try."

Clem looked up, frowning at Sharon's un-moving stare. "And what about Sharon's friend?"

She looked away from the map, unaware of who said her name. "I'm sorry, what?"

Duck nodded quickly. "Yeah, if we can look for your parents we should look for her too."

"I don't know." Lee answered, unsure who he should be addressing this to. "Marsh House can be along the way but. . . we don't know where her friend lives."

Sharon stared at the little rectangle on the map again, reaching out and pressing her finger over it. "It's a twenty minute walk to the river."

“So. . .” Omid drawled on, estimating a fourty minute walk from the edge of Savannah to the house. “Not. . . along the way.”

Carley tried to say something though Christa stopped her. "I take it you all don't have a lot of experience out on the road?"

"We had a place." Carley said.

“Travis and I used to stay at our school, we were out in the woods for a few days but that didn’t last long.”

Lee nodded. "Most of us were staying at this Motor Inn since this whole thing started, the boys joined us later. Kenny and I used to go out on supply runs, but that's it."

"Right, a word of advice? You need a fallback plan.” While no one disagreed, no one said anything back. “You need to ask yourself every what-if you can think of. What if you get seperated? What if there are no working boats?"

Omid added in. "What if Savannah is overrun with walkers?"

"What if there's nothing left?" Ben mumbled.

"Alright, I get the point." Lee said, stopping everyone from adding more grim what-ifs.

Carley spoke up. "For starters, if Savannah doesn't work where will we go?"

"We're taking a risk by going straight in to a large city, if you want to take a page from our book? Get out of Savannah and avoid _large cities_.”

"Right, so which way is the quickest way out?” Lee said. “Back where we came from?"

"No, you saw that horde of them back there. We can't come back this way."

"I-Seventeen goes over the river, that will bring us to South Carolina." Sharon said, weakly pointing at the interstate and the direction of SC. "From there it's just forests, plains, and farm lands."

"That's good." Christa nodded.

Carley leaned forward. "We should agree on a place to meet up. Somewhere easy to find."

"How about one of these parks?" Omid pointed, his finger landing close to one of the many block sized parks.

"Alright, which one?" Lee asked.

"Should be one close the the on ramps, but close to the river too." Carley said. "I don't suppose there's a tourist guide on this map."

"I mean, we have Sharon, she's been there before." Travis said.

Sharon repressed a sigh. "Yeah, we spent a lot of time in these parks." 

“It should be one with a lot of cover, as close to the onramp as possible.” Christa added.

Sharon twisted the map to face her. She placed memories with landmarks, mentally crossing out the ones with large fountains, sparse trees, the cemetery for obvious reasons. The ones further from the river and the ones furthest from the on-ramp got crossed out. "The best place to go would be here.”

Duck, the one closest to her slowly read out the name. “The Wright Square.”

Lee smiled. “Good, so we got a better plan now. Anyone else got a question?”

“What time will we get there?” Christa asked.

Ben shrugged. “I think Kenny said early morning, he doesn’t want to walk through the town in the dark.”

“A big group of people in the middle of day? Yeah, that won’t attract-”

“When are we gonna eat?” Duck interrupted.

“Kenny said should hand out some rations in a few hours, and then some in the morning.” Ben said.

“A few hours?” Duck whined and stood up. “Aw, man. . .”

As Duck walked out of the cart Travis stretched, a hand pressed firm on his shoulder. “If we’re done here, I’d like to rinse this stupid gunshot out.”

“Gunshot?” Omid’s eyes widened. “Holy shit, when you guys said you had to leave I didn’t think it was that bad.”  
“Yeah. . .” Lee cast a short glare towards Ben, then to Sharon. The two looked away quickly. “We weren’t prepared for it.”

Travis returned the glare to Lee.

“Hey, Lee.” Carley stood up. “Now that the train is moving again, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Lee hesitated, looking again to the younger of the group then slowly standing up, following Carley out the door and to the engine cart.

Travis scooted himself backwards, laying down on the mattress, closing his eyes and awkwardly trying to find a comfortable position. Clementine picked up her radio from her side and sat in the far corner of the cart, whispering quietly into the microphone.

Christa reached out and folded up the map, clearing her throat to get Sharon’s attention. "If you don't mind me asking, how do you know these people? We haven't been able to talk."

"Oh, she's Kenny's kid." Omid answered for her.

"He told you that?" Sharon said.

"Yeah. What, is it a secret?"

"No, it's. . . _complicated_." Sharon absentmindedly reached for her pajama pants, balling it up in her lap. "I'm happy to help, but when we get to Savannah we might separate."

Travis opened his eyes.

"What makes you say that?" Christa crossed her arms. "Are we not welcome?"

"No, it's not that. It’s my friend, if the group doesn’t head that way, then I will."

"How do you know she's still there? A lot can happen in a few months."

"Because we said if we ever got separated, we would go there."

"How are you sure she's still alive?"

"Because I know."

"But-"

"I understand how crazy it sounds." Sharon took a deep breath. "If Omid told you he'd meet you in Kansas, would you go to Kansas?"

"No, she hates Kansas." Omid spoke up, a little louder than intended. "I would probably tell her to meet me in DC."

Christa didn't respond.

"Y'know, finish the road trip? Or maybe Parker's Run, that's a lot closer."

Christa couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, I get it.” She rolled her eyes. “But we are _not_ meeting in DC. I’m not so thrilled about Tennessee either.”

In the corner Clementine whispered one more word before standing up and setting her walkie talkie on the ground. Slowly she reached Sharon’s side and tapped her on the shoulder.

Sharon turned, attempting to give the little girl the warmest smile she could muster, hiding her exhaustion. “How are you doing Clem?”

“I’m okay, but I was wondering. . .”

Sharon scooted her body around, staying seated with her legs crossed.

“Duck told me that you sang to him before. . .” Clem looked at the walkie talkie again, nervously pulling at her fingers.

Sharon looked to the girl, then to the radio. “You use that to. . . talk to your parents, right?” Clem nodded. “Do you want me to sing to you?”

“Yeah, um. . .”

“And you want your parents to hear too?” Clementine nodded again. “Don’t be embarrassed Clem, if singing to your parents will make you feel better then of course I’ll sing to them.”

Clem smiled, reaching out her hand to the young woman. Sharon pretended that the little girl’s strong pulls brought her to her feet. With the pajama pants still in her arms Sharon draped the legs around her neck like a scarf, eyes catching a glimpse of red skin.

Stay calm. Look at something else.

Sitting with her back to the corner, Clementine sat in her lap with the walkie talkie in her hands. Once comfortable Sharon took the radio and held the button down.

 

 

 

 

 

_“Ground Control to Major Tom. Come in Major Tom.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“It’s an old David Bowie song, I used to sing it to my parents a lot. . . do you want me to sing that instead?”_

_”Sure.”_

The Marsh house had seen better days.

**Ground Control to Major Tom**

Before the outbreak the owners were planning to renovate the first floor rooms, redo the roof, and maybe slap on a fresh coat of paint on the outside if there was money left in the budget. Summer is when they get the bulk of their customers; families and couples looking to visit the many historical parks, get away from their home lives, shop up and down the strips, maybe go on a boat ride if the weather held up. The renovations would have to wait til next season.

**Ground Control to Major Tom  
Take your protein pills and put your helmet on**

Now that walkers roamed the streets the Marsh house looked bleak. Darkened bloodstains coated the ground, corpses littered around every corner, leaves and garbage stayed on the streets for days before a walker or harsh wind would blow it away, cracked windows became the norm. At least there’s parking.

**Ground Control to Major Tom**

The inside had been cleared for the most part; the carpet reeked of rotted meat, old blood painted the walls, not a single light on, underneath the stench of blood was a hint of cigarette smoke, the occasional walker would somehow fumble a door open and find its way wandering the halls, other than that the building is safe. 

**Commencing countdown, engines on  
Check ignition and may god’s love be with you**

Down the hall from the entrance in conjoining rooms is where _he_ sat, a fresh pack of cigarettes opened, the sunlight that peeked through the shades highlighted the smoke lingering around his room. The alarms would have been going off if he hadn’t already disabled it.

**This is Ground Control to Major Tom  
You’ve really made the grade**

The radio sang to him and his wife, the bowling bag where her head rested had been opened so she could hear it too. The head gurgled, the best it could make with no lungs. Her teeth chomped at the hand that hovered above it, uncaring for the song.

**The papers want to know whose shirts you wear  
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare**

The man flicked his ashes to the carpet, finishing the cigarette to the filter and blowing the smoke at the rotting head. He dropped the butt in a brown bottle and stood, setting the radio gently on the chair. 

**This is major Tom to Ground Control**  
**I’m stepping through the door**  
**And I’m floating in a most peculiar way**

He twisted the volume knob up, walking away to the door that lead to the conjoined room. Through the wall he could hear the singing, in his mind he could hear it clear as day. This room smelled nicer, a thin layer of dust managed to coat every surface but it’s comfortable, clean, safe.

**And the stars look very different today**  
**For here am I sitting in a tin can**  
**Far above the world**

Trailing his fingers over the duvet the man set up the room. First, a tiny purple suitcase. Clementine had mentioned she likes purple more than pink now-a-days, everyone always assumes pink is her favorite because she is a little girl. Sharon used to say the same thing, though her favorite was blue, sky blue.

**Planet Earth is blue  
And there’s nothing I can do**

Clothes that needed to be folded, clothes that would fit, clothes that are clean. Sharon would ask for pajamas, Adam never wanted to leave his jerseys behind, just like Elizabeth Clementine still likes dresses so she gets as many as she wants.

**Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles**  
**I’m feeling very still**  
**And I think my spaceship knows which way to go**

Then a gift on top. Elizabeth would want a stuffed bunny, Adam would want anything sports related, Sharon? She’d take anything as long as it meant well. For Clementine? A new hat, to replace the one her parents gave her, one that will get rid of her connection to anyone else but him. It couldn’t be purple, too close to the one she has now. This one is yellow, a nice bright color, clean, a little too big for her but she’ll grow in to it. 

**Tell my wife I love her very much,  
She knows**

And the last: A nice polaroid camera. He couldn’t find a scrap book that hadn’t been stepped on, but with this he could take a family picture to replace the one that had been stolen. One he will carry with him for as long as he lives. She can have the camera, he won’t need it anymore, so that can be another gift.

**Ground Control to Major Tom  
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong**

After all the mistakes he’s made this is it, this is his redemption.

**Can you hear me, Major Tom?**

He failed with Sharon.

**Can you hear me, Major Tom?**

He failed with Adam and Elizabeth.

**Can you hear me, Major Tom?**

He failed his wife.

**Can you- Here am I floating round my tin can  
Far above the moon**

He won’t fail Clementine.

**Planet Earth is blue  
And there’s nothing I can do**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, this is the last of the "song fic" vibes in SitUP. Although Sharon doesn't sound like Gabrielle Alpin I have to say this is my favorite version and it really fits the mood of the scene.  
> As I've said on my tumblr post (https://sharonitwd.tumblr.com), I am almost caught up with where I left off, this will no longer be a re-write. So that means chapters will take longer to make, but quality will def be better. I have everything planned out just how I want it and now I just need to get it all down.


	18. Georgia's First City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep it together

After the David Bowie song Clementine wanted to go to bed, though she didn’t want to sleep with Sharon. The little girl instead accompanied Lee, the two replacing Kenny and Duck in the engine room as the small family found a semi-comfortable spot in the storage cart.

Everyone in the cart tried to make idle chatter to pass the time, then were silent as most of them ate dinner, then silent as they tried to get some sleep.

 

Except for Sharon.

 

In just one day she had driven hours on end with no sleep, took care of a dying friend, been adopted in to a family, burned her arm, saw Omid’s bone out of place, and gave rations to her friends knowing exactly how long the rest of the food in her bag will last.

She tried to think of the good things. Lee found her a guitar, the kids got to have candy, they met new friends, managed to find a working train, she got to sing for the kids, they have enough food to go around for a little while, and they are literally on track to Savannah.

Though the latter both excited and terrified her. 

It had been months since she’s seen Lisa, being on Sharon’s mind every day since waking up at the Motor Inn, sometimes she could _see_ Lisa idling around their makeshift home as if nothing happened. To actually see her, to know she is okay, to know they don’t ever have to be separated again, there is nothing she wants more.

Sharon has tried not thinking about the reality of the situation and it didn’t help that everyone reminds her of it. Lisa could be gone. Savannah could be empty, it may even be a death trap, the chance of Lisa being there is slim to none.

Leaving the group to find Lisa could be a death sentence.

But maybe that’s what she wants.

A death sentence.

Hit with sudden claustrophobia Sharon stood from her corner, stepping over sleeping bodies to the exit. As the door shut she zipped up her jacket and wrapped the pajama pants tighter around her neck, then sat on the walkway with her arms wrapped around the railing.

Out here it’s easier to keep her mind off of that topic with so many different stimulations to distract her. The continuous rattle of the tracks below and the hum of the engine, the cold breeze that made her shiver, the smell of grease and fuel, and the moonlight bouncing off of the metal around her.

" _What's wrong with me._ " Sharon mouthed, bringing her hands to her face.

The sudden movement of her left hand caused the tender flesh to flare up. Never before did she have a fear of fire, the Motor Inn would cook over open flames back before Ben and Travis joined. Something about waking up and seeing nothing but fire again, she could hear a baby crying, someone shouting her name, everything burned.

With nails digging in to her non-burnt hand Sharon tried to forcefully distract herself from thinking about it again.

The glass cutting in to her palm, the cold nights surrounded by equally smelly walkers, covered in black muck but unable to remember how it got there, being so alone she’d follow a walking corpse as if it were leading her somewhere safe.

Lisa has to be there, she has to be there.

“Sharon?”

And as quickly as that she misses the privacy of her own room, to be able to have a panic attack without someone walking in on her.

Wiping the tears from her face Sharon turned to see Lee standing just outside the door. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Sharon scooted back a little, seeing the man a little more clearly. “Is something wrong?”

Lee hesitated, turning his body to look in the conductors room, then to the front of the tracks. As he knelt by Sharon’s side he opened his mouth trying to explain what troubled him, nothing would come out. After some internal debate he finally spoke. “I uh… I have to ask you something, but you gotta promise me you’ll keep this on the down low, for now.”

Sharon took a deep breath. “Are you sure you still trust me?”

“After I told you about my past you didn’t start a witch hunt.”

“I did get Katjaa killed.”

Lee sighed. “Sharon, this is serious. I… I need your help with this.”

Sharon watched carefully as Lee removed the walkie talkie from his belt, presenting it to her. She recognised the dimly lit pink stickers, Clementine is usually holding on to it as if it were a precious porcelain doll. It's odd to see Lee with the talkie and not Clem.

“You’ve seen Clementine talk in to this a few times, right?” When Sharon nodded he continued. “Have you… heard any voices coming out of it?”

“No? I thought it was broken.” Sharon looked closer at the device, seeing the little red light that means it’s on. “She asked me to sing in to it a few hours ago… was someone actually listening?”

“I think so….” He reached out and clicked it off. “I don’t know what this man has been telling her, but I do know he wants to take Clem from us. Whatever you’re planning in Savannah, I want you to know that she needs you right now. Duck needs you. Kenny needs you. Carley needs you.”

He meant it to be comforting, that there are people that want to be around her. But these words? These people?

"The next chance we get, I want you to help me talk to her. She really looks up to you."

Why? She's a mess, why is she looked up to? Why is she trusted at all?

“I’m going inside. Don’t stay up too late, it’s gonna be a long walk in the morning.”

With Lee gone Sharon’s heart raced again.

With so many people relying on her, how selfish would it be to leave them to find Lisa? Why her, of all people? She can’t even fix Omid’s leg properly, every time she had the chance she left the Inn and was always on the brink of leaving them behind, she was the reason for Katjaa’s death.

She can’t even decide if she’ll run to Lisa’s the moment she recognises the street or stay with the group.

She can’t even decide if she’ll continue living if Lisa isn’t there.

 

 

To Sharon her rest seemed like a blink, in reality she got five hours of sleep. Her body jolted her awake as if she was falling. An unfamiliar weigh bared on her shoulders, curious to see a letterman jacket draped over her, squinting in the dark to read Ben’s embroidered name on the side.

She sighed and tried to think of something to lull her back to sleep, to a good sleep. A warm comfy bed, soft blanket, and a familiar friend laying next to her, singing a sleepy duet together. That had always helped Sharon sleep when she had trouble.

Before Sharon could reminisce any further, the door to the cabin opened up.

"Well look who's awake." Kenny neared Sharon's side and held out his hand. "Good timing, I was just about to wake everyone else up."

"Are we there?" Sharon asked, allowing him to help her up.

"In a bit, I wanna get rations sorted and make sure everyone's good to go." Kenny said. "You okay? That spot didn't look comfy."

"I needed some space, I'm fine now." Sharon let go of his hand. "How about you? Are you doing. . . okay?"

"You don't need to worry about me. . . I. . . fuck I miss Kat, but I still have Duck and. . . you..?"

Sharon avoided looking at him. "About that. . . Kenny, if this makes you uncomfortable, the whole 'new addition to the family' thing-"

"Relax, I just gotta get used to it is all. Kat and I. . . shit ever since she pointed out that our first kid would have been around your age. . . I-I don't want you to get all weirded out."

Sharon bit her tongue.

“I don’t expect you to call me dad or anything, what you _can_ expect is me and Duck lookin’ out for you.” Kenny smiled. “Now I gotta get back to the ‘wheel’ and make sure we’re not heading straight into a horde, could you wake everyone up for me and sort out rations?”

Tongue on the verge of bleeding she nodded, allowing Kenny to turn away and continue his job without a doubt in his mind.

This would have been easier is she didn’t already love and dearly miss her family, the family printed out on the keychain, the family who gifted her the pajamas wrapped so comfortably around her neck.

After everything she has been through with her true family can she really accept a new one so soon after losing them? They could be alive, how would they react to being replaced? If she ever saw them again, that is.

Standing in front of the door, Sharon looked for any sign of consciousness. Carley’s lantern found back at the train station had been lit and dimly shown Omid and Ben reading. Omid’s book is by far thinner than Ben’s massive Bible, she remembered he would occasionally read the one the motel had in the nightstands but didn’t know he had taken one with him. Omid’s book looked to be some sort of Science Fiction, based on the large spaceship on the cover and the deep enthralled expression plastering his face.

Every few pages the two would whisper something then continue with their respective books. The moment Sharon opens the door everyone would wake up to the cold early morning breeze and unshielded engine roars, the small moment of peace they are enjoying would be over with.

Ben lowered his book, looking up wide eyed at Sharon, who had been staring at them silhouetted in the dark.

Suddenly aware of how creepy she’s being, she twisted the handle and slowly slid open the door, watching as a random few rolled over to see who came in.

“Oh, it’s just you.” Ben said. “Not that it’s a problem, I just- uh- thought you were some stranger watching us.”

Based on her conversation with Lee last night, that may be true.

“Sorry.” Sharon whispered, nearing the lantern carefully. “I wanted everyone to get a little more rest before I wake them up.”

“Damn, I was hoping to catch a few more hours after this chapter.” Omid whispered, shutting his book. “Are you okay? We were worried you were gonna fall off last night.”

Sharon nodded a little too quickly. “I just needed some space, after yesterday I just. . .”

“It’s alright, at least we know you didn’t freeze.” He smiled, gesturing to the jacket still draped over her shoulders.

Ben’s face turned bright red, almost oblivious from his own embarrassment that Sharon had taken off the letterman jacket and held it out to him.

After checking his watch Lee cleared his throat and sat up slowly, a hand gently shaking Clementine’s shoulder. “Any reason Kenny wants us awake at this hour?”

She shook her head, forgetting that mostly everyone couldn’t see her head. “He didn’t say why, just to wake everyone up and give out breakfast.”

“Not that I enjoy it, but do you mind if I deal out rations?” Lee said, standing up and stretching. “As much as everyone enjoyed the fruit, we should save those for last, when we really need the sugar.”

Sharon nodded. “Sure, I need to organize it a little bit so give me a second.”

In the dark still, Sharon found her backpack and unzipped it, quickly pulling out the brown paper bags and shoving it in another random pocket. He knows now about the deal and wouldn’t be too surprised to see those in there, but she would prefer if he wasn’t reminded by it.

Around her everyone started to wake up, Christa woke up quickly and a little too alert though relaxed when she looked at her surroundings; Travis groaned loudly per usual, a hand already hovering over his shoulder wound; Clem started to fall back asleep, pushing herself to her feet and approaching Carley; Carley woke in a jolt and instinctively reached for her gun, seeing the little girl in the dim light calmed her.

Once done with organizing her bag Sharon let Lee look inside, taking this opportunity to open the cart doors. In the short time from coming inside to now the sun had started to rise. The cart suddenly had moving bodies all around, people grabbing for their bags and organizing what they had, Lee handed out rations this time with a can opener.

Sharon waved him away, opting to skip this meal.

Before Lee could protest Duck walked in, still rubbing his eyes. “Um… Dad says he wants to talk to Lee, Carley, and the new people.”

Lee sighed, holding out the can and opener to Duck while looking to Sharon. “Alright, but you _are_ taking the next round of rations.”

The four adults left, Omid struggled to stand on his own though managed to limp out of the room without disturbing it too much.

As the door shut Travis immediately started to complain. “Oh great, and again we are treated like a bunch of kids.”

Sharon rearranged the cans and bottles, offering to open up the can for Duck while he gathers his things.

“I mean… we are, technically?” Ben said, turning off the lantern and sticking his book in his bag, the bag he shares with Travis.

With the can open Sharon put the opener back in her backpack and zipped it up.

“No, the kids are kids, I’m a year from being an adult.” Travis crossed one arm. “You’d think they’d atleast have Sharon in the room, she’s allowed to drink.”

“I don’t think we could all fit in the room.” Clem said, digging through her little pink bag. “Um, Sharon have you seen my walkie talkie?”

The young woman paused, trying to listen to what the boys were saying but couldn’t with Clem directly in front of her.

“It isn’t in your bag?”

“No, and it’s not in Lee’s.”

She wanted to ask so many questions, but is now a good time to get in a discussion about stranger danger, pedophiles, and stalkers?

“I can ask him about it… but… Clem, can I ask you something?”

“Is it about my hair?”

“What?” Looking closely, the little girl’s hair under her cap had changed from last night, it had been cut and separated into pigtails, Clem usually sleeps in a ponytail so it didn’t look much different to how she has it in the mornings. “No, but I do like the haircut.”

“Carley and Lee did it, they said it’s safer this way.” Clem reached back and pouted, feeling the new short pigtails. “Carley said it’s why she cut your hair.”

“Well, it was a little uneven.” And burnt. “I wanted to ask, you said that radio is broken right?”

Clementine’s eyes went wide. “Yeah…”

“I know the talks with your parents are pretend, but you haven’t been talking to anyone on it-”

“The talks are just pretend, you sang on it last night, remember?”

Resisting the urge to sigh, Sharon nodded with a smile. “I just wanted to make sure. I’ll go and ask Lee for it.”

Clementine smiled wide and wrapped her arms around Sharon’s shoulders. “Thank you!”

With a quick hug back Sharon stood, leaving her backpack where it sat and leaving the cart.

Lee needs to know. They need to know.

As she neared the engine cart the train suddenly slowed, Sharon reached out and forcefully pressed her hands against the door as to not ram in to it, the group turned to look back at her for a second before turning back to the tracks.

There she saw it, after two underpasses the tracks curved slightly up ahead, past the trees the trains backed up and surrounding the whole area is another horde of walkers.

“We just can’t catch a break, can we?” Kenny sighed. “Change of plans I guess, we get off here and walk.”

“Wait, how do we know Savannah isn’t overrun by these things?” Omid said. “This thing goes backwards right? Why don’t we go back to that river and find somewhere else to get a boat?”

Christa shook her head. “The whole area surrounding the river is swamp and mud, you wouldn’t get two feet without hurting yourself.”

“The only other place I can think about that has boats is thirty miles away.” Sharon said, finally entering the room instead of listening through the broken window. “This is just one bad train station, we should stay on track to Savannah.”

Kenny slowed the train to a stop.

“Aren’t you a little biased?” Christa turned. “Isn’t your friend there?”

“We’ve done enough bickering already.” Lee held his hands out. “We need to come up with a plan, not argue about one.”

Carley cleared her throat. “We already got this far, we may as well get off here.”

Christa nodded. “Alright and what about the walkers?”

Kenny stood and stretched, his back popping in multiple places. “We go around.”

“You can’t just go around a horde, one sees you and they all see you.”

“We could always do the blood trick.” Lee mumbled.

“The what?”

Before Christa could press on what he meant, Omid lit up. “Hey I got an idea.” With a wide smile Omid looked to make sure the group is actually listening to him. “Why don’t we plow through them?”

“And into another train?” Kenny looked back to the tracks. “Nice plan genius.”

“Yup, but not with us on it.”

Carley hummed. “That… could actually work.”

Lee shook his head. “So everyone gets off and we leave a speeding train to ram in to the horde, why does this sound like a bad idea?”

“Because it is.” Kenny scoffed. “You’d need everyone to get off and have one person stay behind to push down the throttle.”

“If we _do_ go through with this, who would stay behind to do it?” Lee asked.

Carley nodded. “Travis and Omid are out of the question and to be honest I don’t trust Ben.”

“I sure as hell ain’t gonna leave Duck behind doing a stupid stunt.” Kenny shook his head. “Why am I even talking, we’re not going through with this stupid plan. Everyone pack up, we’re heading out.”

Kenny stood, shoving the chair behind him as the group parted.

As Omid started to limp out the door Sharon finally spoke up. “Lee, can I talk with you for a second?”

“Can this wait until we’re out? I gotta make sure Clem is ready to leave.”

Before she could finish he left. 

Carley pursed her lips in the silence looking to Sharon, waiting until the rest of the group are out of earshot.

“Lee told me what you did.”

Sharon's breath hitched in her throat. “Carley, I-I-”

“I’m not mad, you were doing what you thought was right.” She sighed, looking out the window. “Looks like everyone’s ready.”

Sharon timidly neared the window, seeing the last of the group jump off the train with their bags on, notably Ben had Sharon’s heavy backpack, the guitar, and her crossbow in his hands, looking to the conductors room expectantly.

“Things are going to be different now, next time you feel like risking your life to save everyone else’s, let us know, okay?” Carley stepped out the door, the door slowly shutting behind her with a deafening click.

Kenny from outside turned around and waved his hand. “C’mon girls, I don’t wanna waste the little daylight we have hanging around a dinner bell.”

Alone in the room Sharon felt her fingers going numb, her legs refused to move out of the spot as if she was too weak, her joints felt a hair away from breaking apart.

Ben lifted up her bag, as if she didn’t already see it by his side. “I got all your stuff ready.”

Everyone is accounted for and off the train, all aside from Sharon.

Despite the early fall morning the room felt like she’d been baking, slowly roasting as heat waves broke through her skin, a bead of sweat rolled down from her temple and off her jaw.

Turning around Sharon spotted the throttle, she had watched Kenny adjust it a few times, watched him pull it until the train slowed, watching him push it until the train moved.

_“Next time you feel like risking your life to save everyone else’s, let us know, okay?”_

Her thoughts echoed off the metal walls, every word being so loud she couldn’t make out anything clear. Nothing made sense, nothing looked right, nothing _felt_ right.

Out of the confusion the only thing that looked clear had been the throttle, the more she stared at it the less it made sense.

Grasping on to the throttle made the room feel so clear the details burned in her retinas, the longer her hand strayed the quicker the world around her faded.

_“Sharon what are you doing?”_

Slowly she pushed, the throttle clicked into place and the train shifted around her.

“Sharon-”

Pushing harder the train continued faster and faster, feeling greedy she slammed the lever into the console.

The train groaned, picking up speed so fast Sharon tumbled backwards, the old door caved to the sudden weight and slammed open. The engine sounded louder from the walkway, the moment her head hit the ground she realized how fast she was going.

The air whipped at her body as she struggled to stand, the trees that passed being lost in blurred green shapes and the first overpass whipped by in a literal flash. Looking over the railing the horde of walkers got closer and closer.

Rushing to the stairs Sharon stared at the ground beneath the train, details passing her so fast she couldn’t focus on it.

As the last overpass neared she didn’t have time to think about what mistake she had just made, the only way out from here is a dirt driveway directly ahead of the train, enough space to land without hitting a tree, flat ground, something stable.

She’d seen this in movies, tuck and roll right? Can’t be too hard. Tuck and roll.

Edging herself to the last step Sharon took one last look at the driveway, not having time to think before jumping.

The sound of the train faded and all she could hear is the rushing wind, for a split second she couldn’t feel anything. A split second nothing weighed her down, nothing mattered.

Then she crashed, her body meeting the dry dirt and rocks.

The train worked hard with what little fuel it had left, rushing loudly to the train depot. All walkers turned at the sound, those who stood on the rail were ploughed, those who didn’t followed the noise deeper in to the station.

Sitting up, Sharon coughed and dusted her jacket. Slowly she stood and looked for any walkers that focused on her, when none came she relaxed and patted her body down for blood or sore spots. Her ankles burned though it was bareable, her head still spun though she could stand straight.

The sound of a distant but heavy impact around her confirmed that the train hit directly into another.

She should be dead.

Walking back on the tracks she spotted the group, from this far away she could only make out Kenny in the front.

He’s definitely mad.

She should have stayed in the train.

To her left she could see the outskirts of Savannah, a couple of lots, some buildings, nothing recognizable from here but if she got closer she’d know her way, she’d know how to get to Lisa.

Is that even what she wants to do? Only a few moments ago she almost killed herself, intentionally or not she can’t tell- though what other reason would she have to pull that stunt, other that to face certain death?

_"I want you to know that she needs you right now. Duck needs you. Kenny needs you. Carley needs you."_

She can’t leave, even if she really wanted to. She’s better than that, she’s better than to leave them behind.

Right?

Duck’s mother just died, he doesn’t deserve his new big sister to throw herself at death and danger.

Sharon decided this to be a good time to meet halfway, not wanting the rest of the group to have to walk this close to the train station and yet wanting the group to start walking in to the heart of Savannah sooner.

As they neared Kenny rushed to meet her first, stomping with every step and his face a bright red.

They stopped under the first overpass face to face, Sharon tried to not look so scared as he locked eyes, though oddly it was silent, which scared her more.

As he got the words right in his mouth he finally spoke. “Now’s not the time, but don’t you EVER pull some stupid shit stunt like that again.” Kenny almost growled as he spoke. “The moment we get somewhere safe- Jesus- FUCK Sharon-”

He raised his hands to his head. As the group neared the red drained and he caught his breath.

“I don’t want to hear anything that’s not directions to to docks.” Kenny announced, brushing past Sharon to lead the way. “Let’s go.”

Both Travis and Lee refused to greet her as they passed, both Clementine and Duck rushed to hug her, being called away by their guardians quickly after doing so.

“I thought I told you to let us know.” Carley said, no emotion apparent. “I know things are hard right now but you don’t get to do that, Kenny nearly had a heart attack and the kids? If you died from that I don’t. . . “

“I’m sorry-”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Carley sighed, leaving Sharon behind.

Christa and Omid came next. “I didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to go through with Omid’s plans.”

“Hey.” Omid gave Christa a playful-mean look. “It was a good idea, it worked!”

Christa rolled her eyes. “Yeah-yeah, let’s get going.”

Lastly Ben stood in front of her, already holding out her crossbow and bag. “Did you know your bag is really heavy?”

“Well, it is carrying all of our food.”

“Then I’m happy you didn’t drive off with it.” Ben decided to keep the guitar as his bag he shared with Travis is much lighter than Sharon’s. “Let’s catch up.”

The two jogged to meet up with the group, deciding to stay far from those upset at her, meaning the two stayed far in the back as they weaved through some trees to get above the overpass.

“Honestly,” Ben said. “I don't know if I'm happy or not that we’re out of that motel, at least out there we knew what was waiting for us, out here things could be so much worse.”

“I'm happy we're out, it's nice to be able to walk around during the day."

"God, just having night watch freaked me out, but actually being out here at night?" Ben shook his head. "I don't know how you did it."

"With the jacket I was fine, as long as I walked around slow they didn't bother me.”

“Ugh, that thing.” Ben visibly shuddered, even though he only helped her coat the jacket a few times. “I hope we never have to do that again.”

“Well we’re out in the open now, we might all have to do it.” Sharon said.

Ben sighed, dropping the subject quickly. “So, does this area look familiar?"

"Not at all, once we get closer to the main roads maybe." Sharon's hand reflexively rested on her stomach, her old wound ached.

As the trees parted the group stopped to check the map for directions to find that the map shown detailed train routes and not random business centers. Christa, Kenny, and Lee managed to find where they are using the shape of the freeway ahead and the distance from the train station, although Sharon knew she wouldn't be much use she wished they let her look at the map.

"Okay everyone, here's the plan." Kenny announced, avoiding looking at Sharon as he addressed the group. "We're gonna stay off the road as much as we can and we're gonna do this quietly."

Christa continued. "We don't know what could be waiting for us, so keep the chit-chat at a minimum."

"This is going to take a while, so if you have to pee, go now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, addressing the long wait. I have been getting really bad writers block and haven't been able to even look at what I had already written, and oddly seeing the new episodes being hyped I keep feeling like I'm so far behind in where I want to be and couldn't even write notes D:
> 
> Hopefully I can get my ass in gear and churn out more but... don't get your hopes up if you're waiting for new chaps soon.


	19. Look Behind You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Check your six

Most of the group slumped in exhaustion as they walked the freeway, many not used to the long distance trek. Lee, Kenny, Christa, and Sharon fared better than the rest, those who stayed cooped up in the inn required rests frequently, though both Omid and Travis refused to ask for breaks.

After half an hour of weaving through abandoned cars they stood under the first road sign, the current freeway wasn’t listed, though they were able to find the direction needed to go. An off ramp following this road, then they hop over to the next freeway.

After two whole hours of walking Omid put too much weight on his leg, falling to his hands and knees with his nose two inches from the ground. Along with Omid's injury, Travis nearly fainted twice, and Clementine was too scared to pee in the woods. Kenny agreed to stop in a gas station, on the terms they stay only for a few minutes, and if Carley watches the group while the ‘men’ clear a gas station.

Sharon managed to convince Carley to let her circle the building, cherishing the alone time as well as securing the outside. Along the walk Kenny and Lee handled most of the walkers, she is fine letting them do the dirty work if they really wanted to though she couldn't help but feel they were holding her back again. They still try to coddle and protect her, they still argue over what to do- nothing has changed but the scenery.

Turning the corner the group beckoned her inside. Travis had already found a spot on the floor to lay down on, and Omid had propped his leg up on a shelf.

"Isn't the ground really dirty?" Duck asked, his nose in a sneer as Travis's greasy hair pressed against the stained tiles.

"Yeah, but it's comfy." Omid said. "I mean, not really, but it feels good to put my feet up. Hey babe, you should put your-"

"I'm fine, Omid."

Duck, with nothing better to do as the other adults asked him to go away, played with the sunglasses display.

"Sh-Sharon?" Travis reached toward the wall, ripping down some tacky t-shirt on display and wiped the sweat beading on his face. "Can you uh- help me out here?"

Stepping over Omid's body Sharon made her way to the sickly teen and knelt down to get closer to his face. "What can I do?"

"I don't know, I. . . fuck this hurts."

Sharon hovered her hands over his shoulder and waited permission to check the bandages, with a deep breath he pulled the collar over his arm.

"God, with all this walking. . . I feel dizzy and I swear if I ate breakfast this morning I would have thrown it up." He shut his eyes.

"Okay, just a quick look." 

Peeling back the bandage revealed exactly what Sharon did not want to happen. The infection is worse. The whole area surrounding the two holes had become swollen and red, his body is trying to fight off the germs and is struggling, the blood loss isn't helping the situation. 

"Okay, okay um-"

Christa turned the corner, covering her mouth as her eyes landed on the wound. "Jesus. . . that looks awful."

Quickly Sharon replaced the bandage so no one else could comment on how terrible of a doctor she is. With one hand on the back of his neck Sharon helped move his body to a different position with his legs closer to an empty shelf. Once he mirrored Omid's current position she let go.

"This will help you feel better from the blood loss, but I can't do anything about the infection or pain out here, I'm sorry."

"Is there any alcohol left?"

"Travis."

"Just because I'm seventeen doesn't mean I can't have a drink, who cares about laws anymore. . ."

"I do-" 

"I don't. I'm _a murderer_ anyways so it's not like it matters."

"Travis- I'm not going to give you alcohol because that could make your nausea worse. Your body can't handle processing beer while fighting off an infection."

"Maybe it'll kill me, then the next time you're on a speeding train you don't have to worry about leaving me behind, that was your plan all along, right? Take all the food left in Macon and take off without letting us know."

Sharon opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out.

He lifted a week hand and pointed to the bathroom door. "The girl's staring at you."

Without a word Sharon turned her head, seeing the door quickly shut before she could see Clementine spying on them.

"I do know her name, so don't ask me if I do." Travis crossed one arm. "Just go, I want to be alone."

She hesitated, reaching out a hand though he quickly swatted it away with the hand he crossed over his chest.

"GO."

Following his demand Sharon stood and turned to look at the bathroom door, Clementine widened her eyes and hid behind it again. With a deep breath she knocked lightly on the door.

"Hey Clem, can I come in?"

Clementine quickly opened the door. "Th-there was no toilet paper."

"Oh-" Sharon looked behind the girl, surprised to see a full roll on the holder. Slowly she entered the bathroom, causing Clementine to back away. "Clementine, are you feeling okay?"

She nodded quickly.

Once the door closed Sharon knelt to meet the little girl's eyes. "You can tell me if you think something is wrong. Is it your stomach? Does it hurt?"

"No, nothing hurts- well, my feet do but. . ." Clem grabbed her wrist tight. "I. . . um, don't tell Kenny or Lee."

Sharon tilted her head, waiting on the girl to continue.

"I really want to get to Savannah and I don't want to stop, but Omid and Travis are really hurt. Kenny won't let them take breaks, even when Omid fell over he didn't stop."

"So. . ." Sharon's brain took longer than she had hoped to piece together what she had been saying, usually she can read the little girl with ease but this room felt too blurry to focus on the small details. "You're making them take a break?"

Clementine nodded, unsure if Sharon's tone meant she should smile or frown.

"That's very thoughtful of you, and smart to come up with an excuse like that." Clementine smiled wide, andd with her smile brought detail to the scummy walls. "I won't tell them, it's our secret."

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." Sharon held out her pinky finger and the little girl gladly returned the gesture. "Is there anything you need while we’re here? Anything I can do?”

Clem hummed and looked up in thought, taking a short breath when she remembered. “Did you talk to Lee about my walkie talkie?” 

“Oh, um. . .” Sharon stood up. “I tried but he was busy.”

“Can you try again?" She frowned. "He won't tell me why I can't have it.”

"I'll try." She nodded, already grasping for the handle.

Clem said, 'thank you' though it went unheard as Sharon rushed out of the blurry room.

Lee was easy to find as he stood in a far corner with Carley and Kenny, the three talking under hushed voices to keep from echoing. When Sharon neared Kenny stopped, anger flashed over his face then replaced with worry.

"It's fine Kenny, I already told her." Lee said, taking a step closer to Carley to allow Sharon to join the small circle. "We just told him about the man on the radio."

Carley's eyebrows turned up as Sharon stood in direct sunlight. "What's wrong? You look pale."

The young woman ignored the concerned looked both Carley and Kenny gave her. "Lee, earlier I asked Clem about the walkie talkie."

"Earlier?" Lee's eyes widened. "When? What did she say?"

Sharon shut her mouth, not ready to talk about the 'train incident' yet. "Whoever is talking to her is making her lie to us, she wouldn't tell me about him or why she made me sing to him."

As Lee brought his hands to his head Kenny cocked an eyebrow. "She did what now?"

"I don't know why, she asked me to. . . sing into it?"

"And you did?"

"I thought it was broken-"

"Please." Carley inturrupted. "Look, we need to sit her down and talk about this, he's manipulating her."

"Yeah, well what the fuck are we gonna do now?" Kenny gestured wildly with his arms, his voice almost too loud for comfort. "Some fucking pedophile is waiting for us, what if he's goin' after Duck too?"

"You said he's waiting for her in Savannah, right? If we go then we'll be sending the kids to his doorstep." Carley pressed her lips in a fine line.

"W-what else can we do?" Sharon said, before anyone else could say something negative about Savannah. "There is nothing South and East but mud and we can't just. . . go back."

Lee finally lowered his arms. "Yeah, it's not like we can get back on the train."

Carley narrowed her eyes at him.

"As pissed off as I am about that, the train was already runnin' outta gas." Kenny said. "We wouldn't have made it back past the horde."

"The only other place to go is South Carolina." Sharon said, realizing she had just suggested to skip over Lisa. "But- we have to pass through anyways so we may as well look for boats, right?"

Lee nodded. "We've come this far, can we really turn back now?"

"No, we can't." Christa appeared from behind Sharon, promptly wedging herself between the young woman and Kenny. "I don't know what the problem is now, but going back isn't an option. Omid and I have handled cities before, we can do this."

"She's right." Carley said, her voice louder now the topic is off of secret matters. "We're running low on food and we need medicine for the boys. Running from this place isn't an option."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Alright fine. Let's get ready to move, I don't wanna waste anymore daylight talking about this." With his voice low he continued locking eyes with Lee. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Yeah, me too." Lee muttered, taking a breath to address all in the store. "You heard him, let's pack up everyone!"

Carley and Christa walked through the aisle together though Lee stayed put as Sharon stepped infront of him, waiting for the new woman to leave earshot. Once they were gone Lee focused his attention on her.

"She's been asking about the walkie." She whispered. "She wants it back."

"I'm not going to give it to her." Lee replied quickly.

"I'm not-" Sharon sputtered for a second, never wanting to suggest Clementine be exposed to the stranger more. "Lee, she wants to talk to him again. She-"

The two both took out their respective weapons at the sonud of a crash, looking shocked as Duck now stomped on the sunglasses he had just scattered along the ground. Even Travis had pulled out a screwdriver no one knew he had.

"Jesus-" Kenny followed his suddenly destructive son down the aisle, stopping him from knocking down a postcard stand. "Duck, knock it off!"

"What does it matter?" Duck kicked at the stand instead, leaving a hole in the cheap fake wood. "Everything else is destroyed!"

"DUCK."

Standing in the center of the aisle the boy whispered, whatever was said clearly shocked Kenny, leaving him wide-eyed and still as his son jerked his arm free. With one heart clenching glare shot toward Sharon Duck stomped out the doors.

"That was. . ." Lee shook his head, his eyes still wide as he addressed Sharon. "Look, this isn’t a conversation we can have on the side of the road. We don’t have time right now.”

It took a moment before Sharon could swallow the saliva, before her mouth felt ready for words. "Okay, it's your decision." She cleared her throat. "If you change your mind please let me know."

Without another word the two parted. Kenny brushed off Lee's attempt at comfort and picked up his belongings, promptly following after his son. Ben stood at the door, holding it open as the room cleared out, patiently waiting for Sharon.

With one last glimpse behind the counter, Sharon quickly bent over and swiped something almost out of eyesight, not able to read the label before stuffing the little box in her pocket.

"I don't think I've ever actually seen Duck mad." Ben said, walking by Sharon side as he talked. "I mean, he looked a little grumpy when Clem but that bug on his pillow, but that?"

 

 

Deeper in the city the group hardly faced walkers, occasionally they'd spot a group down the road they wanted to go down, meaning they'd ofted walk parellel to the river front. When they did face the few walkers- to keep things silent Lee used the monkey wrench he found back on the train and Sharon would use her crossbow, though only if Kenny would allow her to get close enough to kill one as she isn't as proficiant as she'd like to be at using the weapon. 

Though the walker encounters were fairly sparse, the group found themselves becoming twitchy as they traveled deeper in the city, the repeated markings on every boarded up door and the cars stripped for parts down to the shell added to the bad feelings. Every corner caused heads to snap and scuffing feet had been nearly prohibited. 

Sharon mimicked the more paranoid of the group, turning her head around every corner and flinching at every noise, though she didn't fear walkers. Instead her eyes scanned over familiar street signs and landmarks, causing her more than once to fall behind the group in thought, catching up to the front only to repeat the cycle.

"I know this place." She whispered, having subconsciously surrounding herself around the slower of the group. "This next turn is going to be the church, then. . ." She looked to the postal numbers still nailed to the closest house, once there had been a cat that claimed the window sill as it's personal sun bathing spot, now replaced with a sheet of wood.

Ben, from nearer to the front of the group, looked back to see Sharon had drifted from his side and now lingered just in front of Travis.

Travis noticed this look. "Hey." Travis reached out his good arm, his fingers brushing lightly against Sharon's arm, he pulled away when she flinched. "Sorry, can you slow down a little?"

She obeyed, now walking side by side with him. He waited expectantly for her to ask what he needed, as she usually dotes on the feelings and well being of others. When she didn't ask he tried not to be offended.

With someone this close to her she shut her mouth, knowing that she had been whispering directions. If she allowed herself to continue Travis would surely ask questions. As the group rounded the corner she no longer needed to look at street signs, as predicted the church is on their left. She looked to the street sign anyways.

Travis squinted.

"How much farther to the riverfront?" Lee asked, apparently continuing a conversation. He looked to Kenny first, than to Sharon.

Close.

"Should be just a few more blocks up ahead."

As the conversation ahead continued Travis cleared his throat, Sharon could only stand a few second of eye contact.

"Two blocks down there." She said, nodding her head. "A left, then a right."

"What?"

"That. . . that's where Lisa's house is."

"Oh." Travis crossed one arm. "Then go tell Kenny."

"But what if he says no? What if the whole group stops and I have to decide to stay here or leave. .. "

"Are you really going to walk past her house without even trying?"

"I. . . I don't know."

"Seriously? You have the chance to see if she's been here and you're going to stay quiet, for what?"

"Travis, I can't-"

"Do you want me to ask? I'm not afraid to piss off Kenny, if that's your problem."

"No- I- I can't brea-"

All conversation and movement around the group stopped as the church bells beside them rang unexpectedly and loudly.

"What the hell..?” Omid muttered.

Christa shook her head, arms already crossed. “Maybe this city's not so dead after all.”

Kenny turned to reassure the group, his eyes staying on his son. "No-one's ringing that bell, it's on a timer.”

Lee checked his watch. “What kind of church bell goes off at twenty-past the hour?" 

“I don’t like this.” Travis whispered. “We need t- wait guys look!”

Lee already had a hand pointed at the church bells. “Someone’s up there!”

Ben looked to both sides of the building. “Are you sure? I don’t see anything.”

"Are you blind?" Travis scoffed. "Someone jumped from the bell tower, it wasn't a walker."

Before Sharon could question them, the sound of Clementine's walkie-talkie chirped, meaning someone was trying to contact them. The group looked around for the source.

A man’s voice came from the speaker. “If I were you, I'd get out of the street, now.” Strange to hear a voice like that coming from the little pink flower stickers.

Christa turned to fully face Lee, scowling at him. “I thought you said that thing didn't work!”

Lee brought the talkie up to his mouth, confused and tense. “Hello?" He spoke. No answer. "Hello, are you there?”

After a few short seconds, the group felt at unease. Clementine pulled at her fingers hard as she looked up at Lee.

“What the hell was that?" Omid asked. "Is someone fucking with us?”

“Dad?" Duck whispered. "Who was that? What's going on?"

“We don’t have time to worry about that, everyone get a- oh shit!”

The entire group looked to face what Kenny was looking at. Walkers crawled out of every crevice and behind every wall, all attempts at avoiding the milky eyes of the undead rendered useless from the church bells, all attention on the group.

“Everybody, RUN!”

The group turned around, unhappy to see both ways covered with the undead. 

Those who didn't already drew their weapons, for Sharon it was her screwdriver. She wasted no time leading the group down the road they were heading towards, not turning to see if anyone even followed her. If she didn't do this now she could miss Lisa's house.

Walkers tried to grab at her, with every obstacle she ducked or pushed them aside, saving killing them for when she really needed to.

When she reached halfway to the next crossroads she stopped in her tracks.

“BEN!”

Whipping her head around Sharon watched in shock as Ben ran past her, to a street clear of walkers- compared to where he just ran from. The sunlight glared off the shiny gun in his grip, the weapon he could be using to protect Clementine now useless in his hands.

Lee lifted his own gun, Carley being the more experienced at shooting walked and shot at the same time, the two taking out anything that threatened the little girl, Sharon prepaired her own weapon.

“DAD!”

Directly behind her Duck dove into a stripped car, feet kicking at the crawling corpse that tried to swipe with it’s single arm. Kenny struggled to gain control over his rifle as a walker grabbed on to the barrel. More and more dead surrounded the car.

Looking back at Clementine, Carley reached the girl and desperately tried to knock a walker away with the butt of her gun. Lee tried to fire, though with Carley so close he couldn't make the shot.

Kenny finally gained control of his weapon and killed the walker that attacked him, only to find more walkers blocking his way to his son.

Lee backed away from the crowd around him, losing sight of the girls ahead.

Sharon's heart beat through her ears, she couldn't hear anything aside her rapid heart beating. 

Lee and Kenny desperately shot and killed the walkers around them, both of the walkers quickly closing in on the kids.

Clementine,

Or Duck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember when Season 3 was coming out I told myself: Oh man, I gotta hurry up and make new chapters! So, here's part one episode 4 of the first season. One day I'll get to where I want this to be, and when I do Season 4 will already be done and over with 


	20. Support Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of the fire

Sharon was the first to enter the the main gate, her first instinct to rush up the steps and tug on the front door. Locked. Knowing the double doors are too heavy to kick open she ran down the steps, rounded the corner, and pushed past the back gate. The group a few yards behind her stumbled through the first gate, only seeing a glimpse of her as she rushed through.

Wasting no time, Sharon walked straight to the back door and tried twisting the handle. When it didn't budge she tried again, and again, and again.

"Christ-!" Kenny made it through the back gate with his son glued to his side, the two scanned the backyard. "Sharon, are you okay? Jesus you're covered in-"

"It's locked." Sharon tugged at the door one last time, lifting a leg to kick it in.

"Woah, wait-" Kenny held out a hand, watching as the rest of the group filed in through the back gate. "We can't afford the noise, we can find another way inside."

With nothing to occupy her mind she turned on her heels, the garage doors wouldn't budge either so she gave up and sat on the little fountain in the center of the backyard, focusing on the bickering around the group. Their words faded in to random syllables then quieted before she could make out what anyone was saying.

Closest to the back door; Lee, Kenny, and Ben were searching for ways in. The later two checking every crevice of the house for a fault, Lee however scoured the yard for anything useful. Duck stood close to his father, watching closely on what he was doing. Travis sat in a corner against the shed facing the backdoor, he tried not looking so pathetic though failing as he couldn't keep up his eyelids or his good posture.

On the side closest to the back gate; Christa stood protectively over Omid, as he had reopened his wound from the escape and could no longer stand. Carley sat next to them allowing Clementine to sit in her lap, the two still together and safe- without Sharon’s help.

Her mind switched to her blood covered hands, the spot in her pocket where she carried the screwdriver now empty.

Seeing as he couldn’t do anything useful and really- he couldn’t focus on what his father was doing, Duck walked away from Kenny and slowly approached the fountain. He watched carefully as Sharon rinsed her hands in the murky water, being careful not to disturb the layer of dirt at the bottom while trying to avoid patches of green that floated on the surface.

Duck moved to stand in front of her, as she noticed this she stared back trying not to dry her hands on her even dirtier clothes. He didn't say anything, eyes now to the ground and lips pursed in thought as he tried to think of the words.

"Um. . ." He took a step closer. "Did mom ever tell you I have, um. . . ADHD?"

She didn't expect this to be what he wanted to talk about, she nodded anyways. "She mentioned it, once."

"It's really hard to think about what I want to say because there's a lot, and I want to say it all at once but I can't focus on what to say first." He explained, not once looking up. "Every time I try to talk I don't say what I want to say."

Sharon slowly nodded, for his sake trying to hide that she's AT LISA'S HOUSE.

"I'm mad at you. I. . ." Duck closed his eyes, bringing his hands to his head. "Mom was always really good at knowing what I meant to say, but now she’s gone. I want to talk but now I can't _say_ anything!”

"Duck. . ." Sharon's eyes went wide as he spoke. She knew he wasn't taking his mothers death too well though was unaware of his inner struggles. "It's okay if you need time to say it. Will it help to sit down?"

"No." He opened his eyes again, squinting when heavy tears began to fall from his face. "When those farmers took you upstairs the old lady kept telling mom to worry about _her family_ , and mom said that you _are_ family. They can't eat you, you're family."

"Duckie. . ." Sharon wanted to move towards him, afraid she'll break his train of thought if she did anything distracting.

"And when she got bit she said you're family, and when she died she said you're family. So, why didn't you get off the train? Dad was so scared and he wouldn't tell me what's going on, everyone was so scared you wouldn't jump off, Ben kept saying you were going to kill yourself." Duck took a deep breath. "Why would you do that? I thought we were family? What if you didn't come back?"

She pushed through the fear and knelt in front of him. "Duck, I am so sorry."

His eyes unfocused, unable to look Sharon in the eyes for multiple reasons. "I don't want to lose you too, I don't want anyone else to die, even that new lady that gets mad at dad. I don't want anyone to die."

Sharon wrapped her arms around him, the boy felt tense in her arms. "I'm so sorry I've made you feel this way, Duck, I'm sorry."

"When I was breaking all those sunglasses I was so angry that I couldn't say what I wanted, now dad thinks I'm stupid or mean-"

Sharon pulled away. "Stop it. Duck you are not- look at me." Duck blinked away most of the tears in his eyes and removed his stare from the grass, looking at her directly for the first time since he approached her. "You are not stupid."

"But-"

"But, nothing. Having ADHD doesn't make you stupid, having emotions doesn't mean you're stupid."

Duck nodded, bringing his hands close to his chest. "Thank you. . . for saving me from the walkers."

"Of course."

"You were like a superhero."

She tried to steer the conversation back. "I want you to know, I'll never do something dangerous like that again; what I did on the train."

He hesitated.

"I'm here for you now, I'm not leaving you, okay?"

"Okay." He squinted again, his hands curling in to fists. "I can't. . ."

"Are you. . . do you want to talk about this later?"

"I'm sorry. I want to be with dad."

"Don't be sorry." In the corner of her eye she spotted Lee watching closeby, eyebrows upturned. “When you can think of what else you to say, I’ll be here, okay?”

Duck nodded, slowly walking to the back door where his father awaited, already kneeling on the ground waiting for him.

The wandering eyes around the group looked away, the scene is over. Sharon backed up to return to sitting on the fountain, Lee took that as permission to approach her.

“Hey.” He nodded in greeting. “Is Duck o-”

“No, Lee. He lost his mom yesterday.” Sharon squinted her eyes at him. “No one is okay.”

“Alright, I'm sorry.” Lee briefly held his hands up defensively. “How about you, are you o- uh. . . how are you doing?”

Her face relaxed. “I’m. . . holding up.”

“You said your friends house was around here, right?” Lee asked, unaware she tensed. “If we can’t get inside this one do you think we could try hers?”

“Actually.” Sharon brought her legs closer to her body. “We’re already here.”

“This. . . this is her place? As in this house?” Lee looked up to the second and third floor windows, as if looking for a sign. “So you weren’t just running in a random direction, you led us here.”

“After I rescued Duck from that car I was worried that Ben or you would lead us away from here so I just. . . sprinted for it.” She looked up, only able to meet his eyes for a few seconds. “Sorry, all I could think of was- I- I saw it and I couldn’t. . .”

“No, don’t apologize. We made it here unharmed, thanks to you taking out those few upfront.” He crossed his arms, casting a glare toward the mansion specifically at the figure in the bushes. “Who NEEDS to apologise is Ben.”

At the name Sharon turned her body to face the teen, watching as he stumbled in the overgrown hedges to find a way through the windows.

“Oh god, I saw that.” She turned back to face Lee. “I was going to help Clem but Duck only had Kenny and I thought you and Carley. . .”

“You did what you had to do. Duck is safe, Clem is safe. You didn’t run off when you _could have_ helped. Carley seems to be shaken up about it, though.” Lee sighed, the two taking the moment to watch over Carley and Clem as the two silently chatted.

As he said, Carley had a ‘thousand-yard stare’ and her skin had turned a few shades pale, her face devoid of emotion though she feigned a smile when Clem would turn to look at her. Sharon felt how Carley looked.

“Does. . .” Lee started. “Does Kenny know who’s house this is?”

 

Suddenly it felt as if she was back where this all started. Her feet burned, the scars she couldn’t properly treat flared. Everytime a walker would get suspicious she would use. . . something, she didn’t remember how she killed them. Her skin felt sticky from all of the rotten black blood on her skin.

 

“No, I almost kicked the door down, I. . . it’s so. . . surreal.”

 

The pain was so unbearable she couldn’t handle it. Nothing she could do would make her cuts better as the walker blood and her sweat would be akin to saltwater being injected in her blood stream. In the midday sun the burns on her exposed skin felt as if she were still covered in flaming red hot rubble, the cold nights were her only relief as her wounds would cool and she didn't have to see the detail in the walkers faces that passed her. Her mind had to switch to the one and only thing that would keep her occupied, the person that would distract her from the agony, a single being to obsess over.

 

“Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

 

When thinking back to all memories of Lisa, nothing mattered. When remembering every moment of the sixteen years she knew Lisa, nothing hurt. She would bump into a walker and she wouldn’t care. The only time it really hurt was when she looked for street signs to find the way to Savannah or had to kill a walker that knew she wasn't one of them. When she had to drift away from Lisa just for a moment. Her mind ripped from comfort to reality for only a few moments at a time.

 

“No…” Though now she can’t wander, she’s here, she’s right where she needs to be. “I think I need to. . . not talk.” Only a few feet away, there she is. Her room, her parents, her brother. “For a bit.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know when we get inside.” Lee assured, hesitating before rushing over to the back door.

Kenny grumbled when he saw Lee near. “Shit, I know I stopped her from kicking it in but we just might have to, even the fuckin’ doggy door is locked.”

Lee backed away and looked to the little door. “Locked?”

“Ben tried it already.” Kenny continued. “Who the hell heard of a locked doggy door?”

“I have.” Omid called from across the yard. “It’s radio-controlled, the pet wears a collar with a chip in it so the door only opens when they get close to it. Christa made me get one when we caught a raccoon in our cupboards.”

“Well, shit.” Kenny muttered, turning his attention back to the door. “Every day’s a school day.”

Lee cleared his throat, his voice staying low. “There’s something I gotta tell you.”

Kenny didn’t turn away from the door, despite that Lee was talking so not even Ben could hear him. “Well, can it wait until we get inside?”

“It’s about Sharon.”

“What?” Kenny stopped inspecting the door jamb, taking a glance over at the young woman in question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean: this is her friend’s house.” He whispered, just incase his voice carried. “Lisa’s.”

“Shit, really?” Kenny went wide eyed, darting from her to Lee. “Why didn’t she say so?”

“She’s not doing to good, but she might know a way in that we don’t, a key under a rock or something.” Lee paused. “You should go talk to her.”

“Are you sure? After I screamed at her this morning I think I’m the last person that she wants to talk to right now.” He took a deep breath in, letting it out as a long sigh. “I’ll go, why don’t you check up on the kid- uh, Travis. He closed his eyes a bit ago and I had to send Duck over to Carley, looks like he’s gonna turn while I’m not lookin’.”

Lee had to turn around to fully see Travis, understanding why Kenny had sent his son away. Travis's black hair contrasted with his ever paling skin and the growing red spot on his shoulder, his body too weak to hold his own head up. Even Omid could walk around and talk to the others, Travis couldn't move, he could hardly walk on is own. If he did get up it would be as a walker. Christa would be able to warn them if he did turn, being the only one from across the yard paying attention, even though it was with an annoyed sneer.

“And if he does turn?”

“Do I gotta spell it out for you?” Kenny shook his head. “I’ll be right back.”

Lee watched in worry as Kenny walked away, unaware Travis had already been awake and listening to their conversation, though his eyes were unable to stay open for too long.

Kenny rounded the fountain and sat by Sharon’s side on the hard stone, turning his body to face her. She didn’t notice him. “Hey, you doin’ alright?”

Sharon flinched, surprised to see someone so close without noticing them first. She tried to look him in the eyes though she couldn’t keep her sight straight, instead she faced her body towards him and stuck her fingers in the fountain, the cold murky water helped ground her.

“Lee told me who’s house this is.” Kenny muttered.

“I’m sorry Kenny, it’s so hard to think, and I’m. . . I’m having one of those episodes.” Sharon, with her hand fully submerged dug her nails in to her palm. “It’s so hard to think, hard to focus.”

“I-I know you’re going through a tough time and I want to help you, I do. Right now we need to get inside.” Kenny reached out his hand, offering it for her to take. Sharon took it with her dry hand. “Can you think of anything that will help us? An unlocked window, or a key under a rock?”

Sharon shook her head. “No, when they moved out here I never needed a way to sneak in. Her parents never really liked me so they wouldn’t let Lisa hide any keys. . . I had one on my key ring back in Macon.”

“Damn, I was hoping for a loose window but it seems every house in this city has everything boarded up.” He sighed. “Not even a way through the doggy door?”

Sharon froze, slowly turning her head to the mound of dirt in front of the dog house. “Um. . .”

Kenny followed her eyes, pulling his hands back as he stared at the grave. “No way. There has to be something else.”

“Oh my god.” Sharon brought her hands to her face. “Walter was buried with his collar, they were going to get a new door and sell the collar but forgot to take it off.”

Lee, noticing the distress between the two, stood from his short conversation with Travis.

“No, that can’t be the only way, I mean. . . what if dogs can turn?”

Sharon visibly shuddered. “Maybe we can lift someone up to the second floor, the windows up there aren’t boarded.”

“With these high ceiling houses? You’d need me, Lee, _and_ Ben just to reach it, if any are even unlocked.”

Lee cautiously walked over, hoping to hear what the problem is before approaching them, incase if it’s personal he could leave without being noticed.

“Those walkers could wander around that corner and slip through that fence any moment, we still can’t risk the noise so. . .” He groaned. “If there really isn't anything else, I guess we’re digging up a dog.”

“Excuse me?” Lee’s eyes shot wide open, frozen in the spot. “Do you wanna repeat that?”

“I can’t- I’m scared of dogs, I have to. . .” Sharon stood suddenly. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not serious right?” Lee asked, too shocked to react to Sharon passing him in a hurry.

“The only way in that house is through the dog door and through that little grave over there.” Kenny stood and crossed his arms. “I saw some shovels by the shed. I wanna get this done and over with.”

Lee- still confused and shocked- slowly walked to the shed, the same direction Sharon fled to.

Kenny turned and walked up to the gate where the rest of the group were resting, dreading the words about to come out of his mouth. Christa, Omid, Clementine, and Duck looked up expectantly, Carley didn’t react until he started talking.

“Head’s up; the only way inside is to open the dog door and in order to get the collar we have to dig around in _that_.” He gestured to the dirt mound.

“What?” Carley whipped her head up and followed his sight. “WHAT? You’re joking, right? You’re not seriously going to do that, are you?”

“Digging up dead things isn’t what it used to be.” Omid said. “Know what I mean?”

“I hear you.” It was then Lee approached with two shovels. “But yeah, we have to.”

“What if it isn’t a dog?” Carley continued, watching as Kenny grabbed a shovel. “What if it doesn’t have the collar on it?”

“This is Lisa’s house, Carley.” Lee said, his voice low. “We know.”

Kenny turned from the conversation and up to the dirt mound, unable to lift the shovel yet.

“O-Okay, then can’t we just kick in the door?”

“This is the only way, Carley. Once we’re inside then we can argue and yell at eachother all we want.”

“And what about another house?” Christa crossed her arms. “Why can’t we find somewhere else?”

“Lady, do you wanna be the one lifting your boyfriend over the brick walls?” Kenny spat. “Or how about over the wrought iron fence?”

Christa rolled her eyes, allowing Lee to join Kenny in desecrating the grave without disruption. She had to repeat to herself: they can argue inside, she’ll be able to yell and be rightfully angry, just not now.

With a minute of digging Lee’s shovel hit something hard and hollow, after further dirt removed shown the cheap board used as a casket lid. Kenny’s tool had a flat edge so he used it to scrape the dirt off the top while Lee used his pointed edge to remove the larger clumps.

Once most of the dirt was removed Lee bent down and grabbed hold of the lid, he gave it a test wiggle to check for hinges. There is none, just a piece of wood on top of a box.

“Alright everyone, stand back.” Lee said, looking to make sure everyone followed his order and took a step away.

He counted to three in his head and flipped the lid over and immediately wafted the smell of rotting meat to his nose. While walkers smelled awful most of them also had clothes to cover some of it, some had been rained on and ‘rinsed’ part of the stench away. He tried to think about something else though as he got closer all he could think about was how similar this was to the blood covered jackets he and Kenny would wear in the city.

“Ew, I can smell it from here!” Clem covered her nose with her arm. “Gross!”

“Clementine, honey, come sit with us.” Christa said. “Let Lee and Kenny work.”

Clem hesitated, as she lowered her arm and was assaulted by the smell again she finally walked silently back to the others, staying on her feet.

The dog looked more like a poorly skinned rat and thankfully it hadn’t moved once since opening the makeshift casket. With this knowledge Lee didn’t feel any more confident as he reached inside, fingers grasping and tugging on the collar. The dog’s body jerked upwards as he pulled, fumbling with two hands to undo the buckle without touching too much of it.

“I can’t get it off.” He whispered, even knowing the dog won’t turn but still afraid the slightest noise would wake it up. Just as he felt the collar start to loosen, he watched with a clenched heart as the dog moved, in the worst possible way.

“Okay, that is NOT cool.” Ben shuddered.

Without hesitation Duck ran from the grave to hide behind Sharon and Travis.

The whole of the group, aside from Sharon as she refused to watch, heaved as somewhere the dog’s spine had detached. The head dropped first with most of the spine intact and sliding through the collar, it’s body fell limp after.

Christa turned to the short hedges and threw up, her breakfast now scattered in the bushes.

Lee held the collar with one hand and two fingers, trying to limit his interaction with the object as much as he possibly could. He almost dropped it along the way, half considering to rinse his hands in the fountain water as Sharon did and kick the collar to the door, just so he wouldn’t be the one to hold it.

“Here goes nothing.” Lee muttered, holding the collar up to the door.

Quickly the door made a grinding sound, the motor in the little door struggling for a moment from disuse and low batteries. Then, with a little green light and a click, the door unlocked.

“Yes!” Kenny cheered, a little too loudly. “Goddamn!”

Clementine and Duck rushed to the door, leaving the adults behind to see the commotion.

“See anything in there?” Ben whispered, even though if someone was in there they would have heard Kenny.

As Christa helped Omid off the ground Clementine rushed to the door, warily looking at Travis as she neared for a moment, then focusing on the dog door and how easily she could fit in it.

“No.” Lee laid on his hip and peeked through the hole. “Look’s clear, like it’s been empty for awhile.”

Christa turned to help Omid off the ground, pausing as the noise of the walkers from over the brick wall suddenly got louder. “Whatever you’re going to do, do it fast.”

Kenny nodded. “Can you reach the lock?”

Stretching his arm, Lee grunted and blindly swept around. “No, I can’t.”

“Here, Let me try.” Ben offered.

Lee braced himself to stand up, watching in surprise as Clementine rushed by him before he even got off the ground. “Clem!”

“Can I go in, too?” Duck asked, tugging at his dad’s hand.

“You can climb through it some other time Duck, not now.”

Lee finally stood up, watching in worry as the group went silent. Then, with a few clicks from the door, it opened up with Clementine’s large smile and waving hands, like a magician that just made a rabbit disappear.

“Ta-da!”

“Good job, Clem!”

Before Lee could finish praising Clementine, Sharon had wedged herself in between the two and the door, quietly whispering an apology as she slipped inside.

“Lisa!” Sharon called out, pausing in the kitchen and looking around. “Lisa?”

She brushed her fingers against the island countertop, unhappy with the layer of dust her hand collected. Most of the furniture and decorations had been ripped down leaving the room bare and bleak. The fridge door no longer sealed shut due to the lack of power and the shelves had all been emptied.

The living room looked the same, though the heavy and fancy couches haven’t been removed. One thing stayed that she honestly was hoping for, aside from the real person.

In the center wall directly above the fireplace was the family portrait. Commissioned and hand painted a year before the outbreak. On the far right just under her father stood Lisa, wearing a red blouse that was so soft to touch, her hair straightened and unaffected by the rain earlier that day, she was looking forward to having this done so she had a genuine smile.

This is the Lisa that visited her at the farm house.

This same Lisa who would talk to her at the Inn and could be found sitting among the others as if she belonged.

Omid limped in the room with Christa hovering over him, helping him settle on the couch and making sure no pressure was on his wounded leg. The two silently gave eachother a look as Sharon stood only a few feet away, unblinking and staring at the family portrait. Christa walked back to the kitchen, brushing past Carley as she helped Travis on to the other couch.

She directed her glare to Lee, as he was the one holding Clementine's walkie-talkie. “So, when were you going to tell us about the radio?”

“Tell you what?” Kenny rested his hands on his hips, quietly directing his son to go to the living room with Clem.

“That it’s working!” Christa shouted. “That there’s someone on the other end of that thing! You didn’t think about sharing that with the rest of us?”

“We were going to tell you.” Lee said, hoping both her and Kenny would follow his lead and talk instead of shout. “We only found out yesterday.”

Carley approached them and did as Lee did, talk instead of shout. “We weren’t trying to hide it from you, we couldn’t find a good time.”

“A good time? What the hell is that supposed to mean? If there is something we need to worry about- you don’t hold off until the last second!”

Carley bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the statement hit harder than it should have. She wanted to say more though held herself back.

“Well excuse me if I’m more worried about whoever it was ringing that bell and bringing the dead down on top of us!” Kenny argued, unaware of Carley’s silence. “Who cares about the radio when someone’s trying to kill us?”

“What makes you think it’s not the same person? Whoever was on the radio was close enough to see us in the street and we didn’t see anyone else other than the guy in the bell tower.”

“Because that doesn’t make a lick of damn sense. Why would they bring out the dead like that and then try to warn us about it?”

“How much sense does anything make anymore, in case you haven’t noticed; there’s a lot of twisted folks out there these days. At least the dead don’t play games with you.”

“Oh trust me, I know all about the freaks out there.”

Lee intervened before Kenny could ramble more. “You need to know, the man on the radio is no friend of ours.”

“Damn right.” Kenny nodded. “The freak on the radio won’t matter if we keep our own safe, the freak in the tower could run on up to the front door and lure in those walkers.”

Carley composed herself, ready to join back into the conversation. “The ‘ _freak_ ’ on the radio has been following us ever since we got on the train and now he knows exactly where we are. We shouldn’t be worrying about one over the other.”

“Fine then, both are equally fucked.”

Carley continued. “With the way Travis and Omid are, we should stay here for awhile.”

Kenny shook his head. “And what if those people out there are trying to reach those boats before we do?”

“Then you and I can go down to the river and look for boats, we'll have Carley and Christa stay here and keep everyone safe.” Lee said. “Once we’ve rested.”

“Suit yourselves, but I’m not gonna wait around too long for someone else to grab them.”

Carley, now that the conversation is no longer heated, cleared her throat. “In the meantime, we should make sure this place is secure. We should check every room to be sure.”

“If you do that, we’ll all feel better for sure.” Christa said, wandering into the dining room.

“Right, Carley you and I will check upstairs.” Kenny leant to see past Lee and Carley. “Lee, you get down here, looks like there’s not a lot to check.”

Lee glanced to Christa, waiting for a moment to be sure she wasn’t listening too close. “Kenny, do you think Sharon is-”

“She’s gonna be fine, Lee.” Kenny turned, surprised to see the spot she was glued to now empty, both Sharon and Ben now gone from the rest of the group.

Carley side stepped to stand in his sight. "Kenny, I haven't seen her like this since the dairy."

Kenny pushed past both of them. “I don’t-”

"KENNY!” Ben’s hard footsteps and voice echoed through the house as he reached the railing, stopping in the middle of the stairs once he saw him. "Kenny, you need to get up here, NOW.”

“Shit, what’s wrong?” Kenny gave one last look to Carley and Lee, then turned to follow Ben.

The two stopped at the end of the hall, the narrow window in between the wall and the L-shaped staircase being the only light.

“There's a door on the top, I tried opening it but she blocked it behind her. I think I saw a walker in there.”

“Shit, alright.” Kenny sighed, ascending the stairs. “Stay down here, I got this.”

Ben nodded as Kenny stood on the platform where the staircase turns and follows the far wall, the door stood at the final step. He took this moment to take a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever he'll find inside.

The door had been left open just an inch, light poured through the cracks. At the final step Kenny knocked and tried pushing the door open, finding some resistance. “Sharon?” With little effort he pushed it open hearing whatever was blocking his way in slide against the hardwood floor.

With the door wide open he saw it.

Sharon knelt on the plush red rug in the center of the room, in front of her stood a deathly skinny form.

“Oh my god…”

Sharon had both of her hands on the boy, one hand caressing his hair and the other under his jaw to keep his mouth shut and far from her. She gazed into his milky eyes, squinting through the tears to see the boy she has known since his birth, now a soulless husk.

The boy, Fivel, had one hand tangled in Sharon’s choppy hair and the other dug in to her arm, trying with what little strength he had to pull her close enough to bite.

“Sharon?”

Her face had turned to pure anguish, tears streaked from her squinted eyes and down her face from multiple spots, her mouth in an open frown as she tried desperately not to scream.

“She didn’t make it.” Sharon whispered, her voice too strained to make out most of the syllables. “She didn’t make it.”

 

Fivel’s face no longer could express emotions, his mind deteriorated and stripped to bare instinct, his body starving for nourishment, his soul gone. His death had been painful and torturous, walkers don't go skinny from malnourishment but living people do. He was probably too weak to move the barricade on the door by the time he tried to leave, trapped in his own home.

 

“She didn’t make it.”

 

Although Fivel had turned his skin had not yet started to rot away, a steady dead pale meaning he didn’t pass away too long ago, not long enough for him to have chewed his cheeks out as many walkers did. His pajamas hung loose around his body and his hair had been a little overgrown, his pants would have fallen off if he hadn’t cinched and tied the strings.

 

“She didn’t make it.”

 

Sunlight shone from the large round window behind them giving the two a bright outline, along with that was a pinkish hue from the thin red curtain was haphazardly tacked to the wall. The well lived-in bedroom that once held many happy memories only looked foreboding as the decorations had become dusty and every corner once lit with fairy lights was now dim.

 

“She didn’t make it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey soo
> 
> I don't know the struggles of people with ADHD, PTSD, gunshot wounds, blood loss, or do I claim to. I'm trying my best to study these things and I hope I'm writing these realistically.
> 
> *Lifts glass* Here's to another chapter and the next episode of TWDG Final Season


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